bah .

Hiiiiiiii!

CHERN.yehlin here
smile and be free :D

peeps online.!!

since 1st jan 2009

Saturday, October 27, 2012 9:18 AM

on to happier stuffs
i did well for promos !!!
truth is revealed here..

GP ... E
CHEM ... C
ECONS .. C
PHYSICS .. C
MATHS .. B

woo !!! okay i know its not very good
but im contented .
normally ill screw up major exams.

i cant believe i was so scared that i cant be able to promote.
gosh yehlin !
ii guessed that made me study really hard !!
and i managed to achieve my goal of C average !!
well with the exception of gp but I PASSED K !!!

still remember my stupid darling lovely teachers made the whole class so scared for promos
before term 3 ended alr telling us to revise.
over term 3 holidays i really finished the syllabus !!!
term 4 two weeks was a total thorough revision !
so i guess thats how i got Cs !

but im worried for my friends
i hope they will do better !!!!

i dont want 1215 to break up
:(

9:06 AM

how do you hurt someone you love ?
why say you care when u never did ?
why contradict yourself so much and expect me to pick up the pieces?
why is it so hard to just spend more ?
why apologise and do it again and again ?

there has been NOTHING in j1 that made me more sad than this
not even when my grandad passed away. cause i know he left in peace.
and hes up there watching us, cheering for us . telling us to study

but you?
you DONT CARE.
and im sick of WAITING FOR YOU

how do you knowingly break my heart SO MANY TIMES and refuse to change?
what am i asking from you?
the sky ?
the moon ?
no im just asking you to try and HAVE A COVERSATION WITH ME
is that so hard?
is it too much?

if not for being in ny
im sure i would have been far more broken than ever
i have my friends who TALK TO ME. CARE ABOUT ME. SAY THEY LOVE ME AND THEY WILL STOP DOING THINGS THAT THEY KNOW WILL HURT ME.

what about you ?
if im not worthy of you.
please dont leave me hanging.. giving lies.

a bond cant be strong without conversations FOR SO LONG
a bond cant be strong when u hurt me so much.

i feel like i have to do this
and i cant give you any chances anymore
not for another year.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012 4:09 PM

joy of life.
despite my very positive post previously. yes there are times when i feel horrible... like today
PW and chinese and social life.
somtimes i really just want to throw all these out of the window.
stomp on it and walk off
sounds really childish?
i guess the pleasure in doing so wouldnt be understood unless youre relly feeling horrible

yet i know reality.
feelings have to be hurt.
part and parcel of being teenager.
i have to study or my future is screwed.

but i just want to stop trying sometimes.
stop socialsing
stop doing work

i cant. today my chinese teacher told me that i have to really buck up for chinese.
today i had to hurt people.
today i had to be treated like trash

sick of these.
tired.

Saturday, October 6, 2012 10:59 AM

Welcome to my blog!!! It has been my friend for 6 years since Pri Sch!!
Anyway I'm in such state of happiness right now. Words can't even explain it. Of course the causes of this happiness is really really very err minimal ? Minor ?
Daisy once asked me why am I perpetually happy.. And I decided to explain myself here!!

It is because.. I hit rock bottom before.
Of course it wasn't like family problems divorce or anything. But I have been abandoned by many many friends before. All at the same time. from different groups.. And that's when I realized something.. Nobody is expected to treat you kindly. Or help you. Or even bother to talk to you when you mean nothing to them.. 4 years ago... They won't give a shit about you. they gave me dirty looks. many many of them and all in my class. this fking loser even said 'you know you were one of the most hated in sec1/5' yes idiot i knew you stupid insensitive loser that ended up having no friends now and only take pride in hurting others to their faces.

At some point of time.. I really felt that I only had one friend. Cause last time I wasn't very close to ver during sec 1/2 so ya Lynn felt like my only friend. And I'll always feel like I owe her so much for everything.

That being said.. I learnt that if one day you were to disappear from the earth. If just one person remembers u. Then you won't be forgotten! If there is that one person who cares so much about you and treasure you.. even though there's nothing in it for them.. You're one of the most fortunate people there is.
Ahh idk how to explain it better.

I just feel that nobody is expected to treat you well. what do they get out of it ..? Not the cleaners in the school. Not your friends. Definitely NOT YOUR TEACHERS. and not your family.
But they do !!! Out of kindness and being considerate. They treat me really well. So every time when I enter school I feel like I'm entering some kindness home.. Or smth like that! Where people will care and accept you and treasure you. And play with you help you with your studies. Cry with you when you're sad. on my way home passerbys tells me that my bagpack is open and my wallet can be seen.. like whats in it for them?? they dont get anything when they choose to help me! when i reach home my family watchs tele together. laugh together. listens to my stories together. i mug and my parents cut fruits for me everyday! then the cycle happens the next day again. i go to school and i am treated kindly by friends. i enter home and play with my family. on weekends i bar myself from going out for dinners to mug. but my family really wants all of us to eat together.! How can I not feel happy when I have all of that!! i have it everyday !!

My teachers agree to consult me no matter how tired they are
She also replies all my annoying questions through SMS. No she's not expected to reply me ! who actually wants extra work through their phone!! But ms Judy tan did it!
Ver is there for me and helps me with studies and she's like my best friend alr and I can tell her everything!! Even super lame things that is super lame LOL and she will really really consider others feelings are care for them !!
Lynn and radiance and my pri sch friends are not with me physically .. But I know that they are always always cheering me on no matter what.
my cousins are so close and my whole family is so close !!
my parents take their time out everyday to listen about my stories from school tweets from twitter ..
gay okay people might talk less now but i feel that we will really be close again too after promos !
1215 is so awesome the guys are really friendly and LAME but super funny. and the girls are really really really one of the best people ive seen in my 17years of life .. being alive ! they are selfless. really really selfless. and caring and accepting.
they really really care a lot and i feel that we are really united

and its like i feel all these emotions everyday.

there are so many small things and small acts of kindness around me. and i really feel like i didnt have that in the past. and you have to understand that it really all can be taken away from you. under your nose right there and then! why should people treat you well ??? why should they listen to your problems? why must they help you? why must they consider how u feel ? why should they spend your time talking to you. walking with you being your friend?? whats so great about you that they can do all these for you. with nothing in return! arent there better people out there who is worth their time?
you have to understand that they do this cause they want to! they want to care and love you!

and i feel that because i understand this.. this is why i feel so happy !
i hope this blogpost explains it
of course there are exceptions.. like times when im sad. but even so i know deep down that there are people there for me willing to support me .

so treasure and cherish life okay !!

LOL BACK TO PROMOS TIME

3:14 AM

I had every intention to go to sleep but for some reason when I closed my eyes, all my mind wanted was food!! Dont get me wrong.. I have no qualms about eating. I'm not bull-limic or aneroxic however you spell it. but it's in the middle of the night and I ate a proper lunch proper dinner topped with a moon cake piece and some fruits. And I drank this glucosey drink called ensure with cereals
Yet 2 hours later I'm here drinking again.
This is so weird

VER told me about how stomachs can grow bigger . I guess that explains it. But I'm worried cause if my stomach grow any bigger it might burst one day.. Or smth.

Anyway recently I have this secret liking towards pretty girls who are really smart. And I think they're the coolest people ever! It's like u see this really pretty Girl whoosh pass u and get all As . So damn awesome. I wanna be a girl like that. Well something like this ? At least towards the smart aspect.! Nevertheless im still kinda studying for my future.

Does anyone believe in parallel universe?
People doing the exact same stuffs?
I didn't until today when my friend
Also read manga
Running man
Channel 5 mania
Same taste in songs

Ever since I thought there such thing!!
Until today.. It was so cool!!! Like a real brother!!

Really sleepy now
Goodnight sweetdreams!!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012 1:41 PM

hello !! this is really randoom and im posting this right in the middle of promo period
plus its a really boring post.
so please dont read if u are studying for promos now

my thoughts are.. VERY random
it ranges from why jc skirts are level up from secondary sch skirts. DURING PHYS PAPER.
to..
why people dont invent massaging chair/device that also helps slim down ?
even if they do.. why isnt it promoting well?
i bet other countries do ! just that singapore is so small and has such a small market..
still.. i think it would kinda be profitable.
selling a chair that helps u sit and slim down while feeling relaxed.
its like
'no more sweat or feeling sticky' 'need not feel tired or lerthargic'
this is the magic fskhskdhs chair thingy.

okay this is so random but i think ideas are hard to come by so im posting it here.
not like publicising an idea is a good idea HAHAHA.

im in mid promos.
and to be honest i just feel a bit numb.
not emo numb. just numb to other stuffs.
and im like studying non stop.
maybe its cause im really sleepy so i can really only do one thing at a time which is to study or sleep.
brain capacity cant fit in like being considerate. nice. caring etc.

ah well all these would be over next week !