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Hiiiiiiii!
CHERN.yehlin here
smile and be free :D
peeps online.!!
since 1st jan 2009
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Thursday, November 29, 2012 1:47 AM
I'm glad I listened
I understand both sides now
Of course I support the two girls side
Surprisingly in my mind its 2 girls vs 1 guy
And not 1 guy 1 girl vs 1 girl
Cause he played with both of us
And I know she's worried about me too !
I'm kinda worrying about her
I mean I know exactly how can it feel
Except mines magnified
No matter what
I'm glad that I listened
I'm glad that I still hold a place now.
I'm glad that everything didnt turn into nothing
I'm glad I reacted the way I did
From the start till the end
But even now I wonder
Why do you keep thinking that I'm playing a game
When you started playing with everyone feelings first.
Still no matter what I'm determined tomorrow we will form a friendship
Came up with a list of topics LOL
Should be okay !!!
Haha
I don't want everything to go into waste
At the same time I know my friends support me . So many of them!!!!
Posting photos next post !!
Goodnight !!
I feel so much better the whole ordeal is over.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012 12:52 PM
I think that .
I'm still me
And me think that
I should remember this moment
So that if smth similar happen in the future . I know what to do !!!
Now I'm trying to live through every hour.
When someone who means so much to you suddenly treat you like you're worthless
It really really hurts
Like sometimes the pain can be real! Like u can feel it.
3 years of knowing him
2 years of being together
I never thought commitment was a problem..
I can't be fun all the time.
And you can't go find other girls to replace the fun
It's not right.
And she's hurting too.
So am I.
So what do you want really ?
When someone you thought you knew so well
Someone you once thought you might be with forever
He leaves
It's hard.
Always occupy yourself with things
If you're alone doing nothing you will cry.
If you're doing nothing for hours. You will cry for hours.
So don't make yourself suffer
Listen to your friends
Go out with them
Don't coop yourself alone
You can think sucidal thoughts
Don't. Don't let yourself be that way
Everyone experiences things
It's a stage of life
Pick yourself up again
Someone else will be better :)
It just breaks my heart that the bond is broken.
11:24 AM
Okay let me write down..
Tomorrow
morning Asshole time
3 plus class time
6 plus dance potluck time
Friday
morning Dance time
Afternoon A studying time
Night Jon jinggy xav time
OMG HELL YEAH LOL
No time to think of crap !!!
And I'm late now !!!!!
6:48 AM
I feel happier every second now
Cause after I realised what happened
I talk to Jon and jinggy and we joked and play and bonded!!
Ended at 330!
Then played monopoly deal with my cousin until 5 !! And 2 people dai di!!
And then talked on the phone for like 2 hours with A.
And now talking to junwen through msg !!
My friends are supporting me all the way!!!!
So many of them telling me I deserve better.
I hope so too!!
The best part is that I know that there are other friends who can be there for me too..!!!
Thank you guys
Really sincerely thank u!!!
I can get through this !!!!!
3:29 AM
I don't even know what to post
Some part of me is too broken hearted
But a large part of me is thankful for jinggy Jon and xav .
They he help me so much in my life ^^
Help me see things again.
Move on
Tell me that in life you will meet assholes
I guess I'm still 17 so my stage of meeting assholes ain't over.
Yes some where deep inside I just feel broken.
But I understand her. Cause she's crying too.
I just don't know why he has to toy with both of us.
Desperately needing friends now.
To distract me.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012 10:07 AM
Done playing van guard with my cousin. I wish he was as good in the games with his studies
I mean he MEMORISED every card special ability
Haha I still had fun bonding
Now he's reading manga
I'm sleepy
Good night !!!!!!
Oh yeah Jon help me a lot ! Helped help.
8:32 AM
I have decided to do some volunteer thing cause I have been a frog in a well.
And I'm dragging a friend along.
If its done well then I think it will be awesome ..!!!
Also I'm gonna entertain my dear male cousin now. With running man or smth
For this first hour
I thought of how much I wish Jon was there.
Okay he still is there for me
But I remember last time how he baby me through my troubles
Everytime I remember smth sad I will remember him attempting to make me feel better.
Okay I was gonna elaborate but my dear cousins gonna teach me van guard now HAHAHAHA
8:14 AM
I've decided since my last tear will never fall
I will post everyday what I have done to make myself feel better
Which makes waaaay more sense than posting posts that make everyone else feel sad !!
So now the question begins
I really really need things to occupy my time!!!!
Monday, November 26, 2012 9:14 PM
Part of me feel like I'm done with it.
Part of me feels regretful.
That's why the final decision was so vague.
But I can't let go so easily.
Anyway I'm starting today.
I'm gonna fully concentrate on my studies..
concentrate on forming close ties with my friends.
After As I let the pieces fall wherever they will fall.
And I have decided not to hide it anymore. Cause he didnt do it anyway.
So for now.
I'm proclaiming that
after three long years
IM BOYFRIEND-LESS .
I'm upset. Yet I don't regret what I did at all.
You're right.
you dont deserve me
I won't let the current you ..be my priority.
And I have cried enough.
9:14 AM
I was looking at xfactor that day.
Thanksgiving was awesome !!!
I mean everyone was so genuine ..!
So I asked myself
If I could thank one person in my whole life.
Who would that be ..?
And I realised it was nobody.
Not that I'm an ingrate really..!!
It's just that different people has helped me throughout my life !!
When I was baby till pri 5/6 I depended on my parents
P6 I learnt a lot from Chuxuan.
Sec 1-2 I depended on Lynn and my bros
Sec 3-4 there was Lynn radiance siling my fake bros Zhenyi even ? Ver?
J1 was obviously ver and other close alies
My family plays a lot together but we aren't actually really close..
My parents like to put on a strong front in front of the children so I picked it up from them..
So I think that the best candidate would be Lynn
But I just think the only person I could count on was myself.
The only person who has learnt from her past mistakes and stay strong would be me.
I mean if I wasn't strong enough. No one can help me.
It sounds a bit lonely .. But maybe if I could express my gratitude to something.
It would be my past memories.
2:53 AM
I was gonna post listing out top 10 reasons why I feel like I should get drunk.
Probably adversely influencing my cousins reading this blog.
But my friends talked to me.
Whether its twitter whatsapp or message.
I wanna thank those people who cared for me today.
And those who didnt show but I know you care anyway.
Junwen
Andrew
Jinggy
Jon
Lynn
Venetia
Ver
Xukai
Louis George Elijah Justin
Jaser and 1215 family.
Yeah ^^
And for those bastards who made me cry.
I hope you will never find girlfriends for the rest of your life.
you don't deserve any love since you are able to use drinking as an excuse to hurt others.
Sunday, November 25, 2012 4:16 PM
If drinking was an excuse..
I would get drunk for the first time in my life and scold you every fking vulgar word I have in my vocabulary.
Lose control of my emotions.
And question why the hell do you choose this make this so difficult for everyone including yourself.
I really .. Wouldn't mind getting drunk now.
11:02 AM
On a random note..
I think everyone should embrace whatever experiences they might have.
Because it is only then can you say wiser things behave better. Like learning what's the best step to take.
And when u remember exactly how things felt like .. You can give the best advice ..!
That's what I think ...
But sometimes that results in me having multiple 'faces'
Masks.. Which kinda suck..
Cause sad memories are kinda hidden locked away somewhere.
Or like a deep wound waiting to be reopened..
Tho most of the time I put on a happy mask.
And then I can feel really upset at times and have like 'deep' thoughts?
Maybe that's why some of my closest friends can't understand me :(
10:29 AM
I am so damn tempted to post an angry post after I read something
But I shan't cause it will ruin all the readers mood
All I want to say is..
Whatever amount of CRAP sadness you feel
I felt 10times worse
CAUSE YOU DID IT TO ME and I just grit my teeth and forgave you over and over.
Saturday, November 24, 2012 10:26 PM
Our last journey in our car .. :(
Aww I miss it!!!!
And random photos !
11:12 AM
Omg I have been so busy and so tired this whole week
And had a lot of fun
And everytime I think I'm gonna be alone to rest and relax and get some sleep ...
I DONT GET TO. LOL
Let me reiterate my days backwards
Friday!
Yesterday !!
Had that bloody one hour of lecture and then FREE OF SCHOOL!!!
As usual eat with my lovely awesome great homely class
Lecture ended at 10! Dance started at 130!
So I thought that ill be alone or smth during that few hours
And able to catch some (magnificent) sleep. Cause I'm so damn sleep deprived
But NO LOL
My dearest class talked chat for hours and hours until 130 when I had to leave them for dance hahaha
We talked about so many things !!
Okay one part is about friendzoned
Another about stealing peeks at pretty girls
Yeah you got it haha all the relationship boy/girl thing
Oh ya one part we were saying wrong things like
Two girls one cup EWWWW
or .. Other stuffs LOL
The weird part of that conver was it was all guys like 6 of them!!!
Like surrounding me..
But I REALLY DIDNT PLAN FOR IT TO BE THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!
LOL I was surprised when they were doing it !!!!
I think cause I was the center of conversation or smth !!!
Hahaha then Val ong was sitting at the side and refusing to join in !
Then after that dance and oh my I was very bored !!!
Cause like we do the same choreo .. So I started practicing my pose turns
Haha cause my started of pose turns were dropping !!
And then I did side splits and center split !!!!
Cause my flexibility bad too!!
Hahaha
Then the dance people lepak a while until 4!! Then went to shower in school (AWESOME SHOWER)
And went to changi to send Queeny off !!!
I like the part were they all pray together for her !!!! It really reminds me of my USA trip too ^^ praying for souvenirs and safety LOL
Then George had an extra praise for Queeny !!!! ^^
As usual it was gay and fun and everything !! Photos are self explanatory !!!
The talk I had with Kai en from changi to yishun was the interesting one !!
Talked about maaany things !!
Finally reached home close to eleven and bathed and watched xfactor :(
Poor Beatrice ...
Thursday!!!
In the morning I was on my way to school and I met Shirlynn and we talked !!!! Since she stays at cck we talked for super long !!!!! Haha it was awesome too!!
Talked about results.. Dance.. Ballet.. Internal politics !! Haha I sound so pro :D
Was gonna be a calm and happy quiet day for myself cause I didn't have anyth planned after school!! Boy I was wrong!
After crazy lectures.. Was supposed to be with my class but I peied ver instead !!!! Aww ate omelette !! And talked told her about stuffs hahaha
Then went for ogl briefing !! That I had lotsa fun in and made lotsa friends and I think Jaser will be awesome !!!!!!!!
After that me Kaien Xukai decided to go j8 to eat some snacks thingy!! Ate snow ice mango thing !!!!! Awesome !!!! Tasty!! Scrumptious !!!!
Then needed to rush home to pei my dear cousin !!!! Awwww I feel so bad making her wait at cck !!!!
And was supposed to bond with her but I was mean and I bonded with Jaser instead through whatsapp !
Then Jon and jinggy joined in the fun and I whatsapp them too!! Along with Louis and ver !!
It was crazy fun!!
I burst out laughing every 2mins
And my mum will STARE at me LOL
But the conversations were too funny !!!!!!!!
And when my cousin complained on twitter about my laughing.. I ROFL-Ed literally LOL
Too happy !!!!
Wednesday !!
After school had dance with FLUUUUU
bad flu but i still did half of pt !!!!
then met Lester and buona !!!
Talked about so many things too!!! Had lotsa fun a bit like old times .. !! Except that now different cliques totally so he can tell me about stuffs that no one is supposed to know :D
At night went for Ballet and died at ballet !!!
Crazy replacement teacher
But guess what !! I didn't have ache the next day :O
Tuesday !!
We celebrated our dearest .. YICHEEN birthday !!!!
With pinyata !!!! Haha super fun whenever she missed the pinyata !! Cause we blind folded her LOL
Plus she used so much force too !! Haha then hit the alumni thing once really really hard !!
And stepped on my bag LOL
Finally the pinyata burst !!!!
Then all of us helped clean up ^^
When there are photos I will post here !!
Class laughed together and everything !! And then wrote stuffs for lavid !!
After that I played with my bubbles and daisy bubbles !!!!!
It was really really fun like a pri school kid !! But awesome !
Ver Samuel darrin Waise George played with it too!!!!!
At the atrium LOL where there were many people !!
The bubbles were so big !!!! Okay quite big !! And pretty !!!!!
Went to bouna with my dear Lynn and played with bubbles too!! Bonded !!! I miss her !!!!!!
Monday .. I think I went for karaoke !!
Yeah and that sums up my weekdays !!!!
Haha crazy and tiring right
And from Monday to Thursday I was suffering from flu and throat pain!!!
Really bad sometimes >< kept drinking water and everything !!!
Brought like 3 tissue packets to school LOL a day!!!
Cause everyday use a lot !!!
Friday On my way home from changi to yishun to cck
I totally knocked out on the train. Slept within 1min of sitting
And this dude turned and stared at me cause i head bang on him LOL
Okay and now I'm going out again
Holidays started .. Ill miss school..mates LOL
Bye !!!!!!
Friday, November 23, 2012 8:41 AM
The hard thing about spending 45mins in the train is that..
For a girl.. When you sit. Your knees have to be stuck together.
If not it looks really obscene (no shit)
But the problem is you can't cross your legs over each other.
Cause that will result in a leg sticking out and morning train is too packed to leave space for leg sticking out people.
So most of the time I am forced to sit in a way I learnt from princess dairies.!!
It's quite nice I think LOL
Like two knees join then both feet slant and one feet behind another!
So you're crossed . Knees together . And not affecting anyone
But this requires .. Some sort of muscle to still maintain the knees together
It's not painful or tiring or anyth. It's just really really troublesome cause even when you sleep you need to check your legs LOL
Okay okay ill be posting late afternoon again !!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012 2:44 PM
So many things to post about.. Lets just start with...
Karaoke !!!
Okay basically I was having a bad throat infection I think.. Around Friday started !
Saturday fell sick! Sunday recovered slightly! Monday fell slightly sick again.. Like I felt that its not just a simple sore throat.
Like there's something wrong with my throat.. Idk how to explain.
And then Monday.. Went to sing karaoke with vernice Eleanor and Samantha LOL
It wasn't very high initially .
But I think as 'love story' 'single ladies' 'sweeter' and this rap song where playing all of us where just singing/shouting? Out loud LOL
I mean who wouldn't want their Romeo to save them early ??
Sweeter was so cool cause me and ver just kept thinking of jennel and like smiling to ourselves LOL
Awww first time listening to the actual song tho LOL
And it was no surprise that we extended the hours from 2 to 3
And the reason why we stopped eventually was cause me and ver couldn't take it anymore.
It's like u use your voice until it sounds so so strained. And then you sing on.
Plus there wasn't much source of liquids so every drop was like a savior to our throat
Yeah it was damn bad LOL
Nevertheless we still had lotsa fun ^^
Posting photos
Oh Lynn's coming :D
I shan't be angry at her for making me stand and wait for 30mins while feeling sick LOL
12:24 AM
The title sounds chim and deep.
But in fact, it's not
I'm just gonna talk about this very very weird habit of mine.. To adopt people
Like secretly
They have no idea.
I adopt people who are struggling. these people are also ppl I can connect with.
Have similar brain wave ?
Similar thinking
And I can sympathize with them very very well
I will like care for them
Be there for them
Help them solve their issues
Like I'm their older sister and I have adopted them as my younger siblings
You know this protective feeling a mother has for her child ?
Similarly what older siblings feel when their younger sibling gets bullied?
Yeah it's like I feel protective of some people.
I think it's due to my obsession of having a younger sibling LOL
I want one so much
Just as much as I love kids
I swear if my child is in any form of danger I'm willing to risk my life for him/her.
This protective thing~
As a result I have it on some of my friends
An example will be my younger cousin..
LOL I would crack my head and think of the best way to answers the questions that she threw at me one after another.
Another person I had adopted was Xavier
There was this period of time he felt very very low. And everyone in sec sch knows that he's like my close close brother..
As close as a blood brother. Like kid around bully around. Disturb and insult LOL I wrote a letter to him to cheer him up!
For a period of time in sec3 start I feel like I adopted ver too!
Cause she depended on me a lot for one week!
I adopt Joey too!!
Like I feel like my bond with her is close no matter what ! And I'll be there for her in any situation !!
I only adopt those people with similar thinking as mine.. Like I just abruptly try to help them as much as possible ..
This is probably cause I feel adopted by Lynn! And ver sometimes!!
LOL like I'm the kid and they're the adult!
Always there to give me cool and calm advice !!
So I kinda adopt other people !!
But I'm starting to think I shouldn't !
Goodnight !!
Monday, November 19, 2012 1:13 AM
Yes in this post I'm just gonna talk in riddles
I think even ver has difficulty deciphering what am I talking about
You see even though cyl might sound calm and confident and very sure of what I want and what I am doing...
Sometimes
Things throw me off balance
And I do things I don't understand why.
LOL
I can imagine my close friends raising their eyebrows when 'cyl' and 'calm' go together
But yes even when I'm crazy and hyper I know what I'm doing
This time I don't
I'm reacting in a weird way.
Having impulses to do what I shouldn't
Yes and beginning to sound despo
I don't know why I feel like I want it so badly
Until I have to keep myself in check frequently. VERY frequently.
Making sure I don't throw things off balance..
This is so weird
I've never behaved this way before....
Sunday, November 18, 2012 3:21 PM
I have officially unprivated this blog due to extreme boredom !!!
Hello!!!!!
The below posts might be annoying
Cause I might sound obnoxious
Don't judge me k !!!!!
Okay I know everyone forms an impression of everyone
Time to running man. !!!!!
I hope this blog doesn't change your impression of me from good to bad !!
3:09 PM
I've always reserved my weekends for family
But my parents are sick
And my sis is having major exams
So I'm just lazing on the sofa bored..
But right I'm supposed to be training my flexibility now or clearing my table
I'm so laaazy!!
Just done reading percy Jackson book
Awesome!
Every part of my name is hard to spell
So many people spell it wrongly.. It's turning into like a 'internal' joke to myself
For example when people text me Ye ling or chen .. I will chuckle to myself LOL
Sound so manly
And I don't bother correcting the person
Not cause I'm mean or anyth
I just feel lazy and it's kinda funny..
Cause sometimes people say it with so much conviction and confidence
LOL
Starting to un-private this blog
Way more fun that way I think..
Now I just gotta hide away all the secret posts....
4:28 AM
Looked so haggard when ver came over !! So bad headache and fatigue !!
But still had fun
And the outing with the girls made me really happy !!!!
4:23 AM
It's 3.40am now and I just read ver junwen and cjx blog.!
I chuckled to myself a number of times LOL
I always thought chuckling was a man's thing~
Anyway
Junwen please please study hard k :)
You don't have to start like right now ..! But start revising through lectures after every single lecture.! Doing all tutorials. Noting down every single possible thing there!
Somehow I like the night now
And I feel so proud of myself for multiple things
So before I let it go to my head
I've decided to give myself a gigantic self praise here
And then never talk about it ever forever !
I am ...
Very very shocked that I've attained 63 rank points
Cause for mid years I had like 29 or smth
And the immense improvement really took me by surprise
I remembering asking the dance guys in gay okay for mid years
How many rank points ?
Then they were like 50-60
AND THEY MADE IT SOUND SO EASY!!
I secretly thought Siao ah how reach 50. That's like doubling mine ..?
And I categorized them as 'very + secretly smart people' in my mind
Of course I still treated them as close good friends !! I was just so surprised
And throughout the next few months even during promos I was like..
They confirm do well damn smart one!
Everytime I see them studying/playing then I know that it's okay for them cause smart what!
For promos I've studied so much and I when i look back.. I am really surprised
Of course it's not like a Looot !! But it's still substantial .!
I remember that by term3 holidays I finished revising maths chem econs syllabus plus did some papers when I was done
Cause I didn't do much for each subject.. Just read through chapter after chapter
But at the end of the week
I've realised that I didn't remember so many things I've read. Almost everything
That's where I started like my second round of revision for chem econs
Like I just reread through again. And for chem do more papers.. Maths too!
I guess the second round really saved me
When I reached promo period itself.. I REALLY DIDNT FEEL LIKE STUDYING ANYMORE LOL
Remember complaining to my parents.. Don't know what to study. Don't feel like studying.
To be frank I still am frustrated about the fact that I didn't do very well for maths.
I mean after revising through syllabus.. iI did 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 every single question. 3hours each. Painstakingly.. And of course for like 2009 paper I spent like 5-6 hours cause I didn't get any shit..
Gah I'm starting to criticize myself
Anyway I am still very very surprised that I've gotten rank points higher than many others
I've never really been 'that girl' that was on par or even better than people who scored 20-30 rank points better for mye.
But I guess hard work pays off !!!
In one way or another
So I'm happy !!!!
Satisfied !!!
Proud of myself ??
I mean 63 leh LOL I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOO.
I guess not going out almost through the holidays and skipping ballet helped LOL
So so so so so
I will work harder !!
Next year. Or end of this year..
To try to make my smartness same and people like Yangyao or even... Wesley..! Okay that's impossible but ill try..!
Can't let this make me complacent !!!
Use it as encouragement or a push to do well!!
I mean next one year really really determines your future
What 'subject' you will be studying FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
And it measures the salary you will earn
And then there's this 7months of break too!!
Okay I feel so fueled to study now !!!!
A second self praise
Would be the amount of times I dance per week!!
Wednesday night ballet
Thursday night contemp
Friday street
Saturday ballet
Sunday ballet
Yet I feel that I'm a really really weak ballet dancer.
I can't do doubles. And I have no strength.
The only thing I'm good at is presentation. Face. Neckline. And jumps
Probably it's cause I'm jumping so much!!!!!
But yes... It sucks cause I can't do doubles.
Some days I can. Some days I can't.. It just really feels random..
I wish there are one hundred allegro (jump) exercises. And then no pirouettes at all..
But I feel that I'm starting to get the essence of these three genres!!
I used to be so messed up..!
Contemp has so much head. Expression. Strength. Sharpness. Very very big steps.
Ballet is so much more mellow!
It concentrates a lot on subtle things that normal people can't see.
Aside from grace .. there's Extent of turn out. Totally straight kneecap. Weight shifting on the spot. Good use of head. And pointed toes at ALL times. HAHAHAHA I did a funny looking dance/jump on the spot pushing out pointed toes cause it was a running step but there wasn't any space!!! And my teacher was like shouting 'toes toes toes!!''
Okay and for street it is very grounded. Low. And your grabbing your pants perpetually. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY LOL used to think of it as really weird.. But now I'm used to it!
Steps are not supposed to be sharp but smooth. But Since I can only achieve grace or sharpness
I decided to go for sharp.
Your bending your knees perpetually . back is never ever full straight unlike in contemp/ballet. very strong steps.. a lot of strength is needed too!!
and when the teacher tells you to go full out.. You need to have the mentality like you wanna kill someone or you want to show off.
Cause have to create this fierce look and feeling in your step !
It's like putting on a mask for me!!
Another self
Adrenaline rush is crazy..
I'm not very good at street either. It doesn't come as naturally for me as what I see others do..
But I'm trying!!!
And I feel happy doing this !!!
Like I'm making full use of my time to become a better dancer
I don't feel much aches anymore .. Which make me feel very proud of myself !! Like I've become stronger!
And I'm getting a better sense of my movement and limbs ?
Like I know how to copy well..and go full out.!!
Which makes me happy !!
Sleepy !!
4.31 am now !!
Goodnight !!!!
Saturday, November 17, 2012 7:34 PM
Hey my dear readers
I am happy and satisfied
But to be frank
I feel very very bad for my sis ..
I said some bad things to her.
And even tho I might like to sound so secure
I feel very guilty
And I miss getting hyper with her :(
Miss it so much
Gonna apologise soon I think ..!
I love 1215
It's like we just keep having lunch together and joking around
I love rad siling Andrea Reine too
That day we played and joke until so fun and happy and talked non stop!! It was super super fun I swear !!
I love vernice !!
I think we are super close !! Like her presence does make me happy!
Despite the fatigue and headache I experienced..!
But on the whole
I've realised that as I grow older
In conversations there will always be some sort of silence
I used to deem it as awkward !!
But now I don't anymore !!
It's like their company you enjoy
Plus you know that the other party or parties will be thinking of topics for conversations
So when you know that they are putting in effort .. It makes me happy too !
On the other hand
I HATE PERIOD.
It sucks hard core
It makes me weak. Tired.
Cause of lack of oxygenated blood that travels to your muscles and brain.
Plus your body will need to keep replacing blood that you lost.
And then there comes the stomach cramp.
I swear it feels like someone is hammering into your stomach
The pain sounds too unbearable right ?
But it happens. Until sometimes when I'm at home ..I just lie on the floor or on the bed and cry
It's especially worse when I have dance and I'm experiencing aches that make me have difficulty standing up or walking
Aches + cramps make me feel pain while being still
It's so unfair cause every girl experiences different levels of pain!!
Some don't at all
Some mild
The doctor said that mine is severe....
Which is soo horrible
But but but
I'm still happy with my life now
A bit confused about my own feelings
But hey? That's part and parcel of being a teen ^^
Tuesday, November 13, 2012 12:24 PM
I don't like being a girl
You get really bad moodswings sometimes
And even when you're conscious you do
I promise it's hard to control
ESPECIALLY cause you know you're having mood swings.
You try to control your actions more
So even thought you feel so angry like a volcano has erupted..
You can't react to it
So in some sense
That's worse
Much worse
Your feelings goes to extremes every few minutes
When I opened this post I felt angry tired sad
Yet when I started typing
I feel happy
Which goes to show how uncontrollable things can be
And I tried to engage in dance or reading or some sort of activity
But I will still drift back to the sad things
Which is bad !!!
Still I'm happy now with my family
Some part of me is glad that I kinda made the right decision
12:06 AM
Today was weird for me
But nevertheless happy
It took my mind off bad things
Chatted and played and disturbed
20min of h2h talk
And the rest filled with Percy Jackson !
^^
Monday, November 12, 2012 2:01 PM
I mean
It's bad enough that I've decided to dress down since I treat 1215 as a family now.
So I'm going to DOHBY in SHIRT AND SHORTS
Reminds me of going downstairs the dressing
No tucking in
No belt whatever
It's just a shirt and shorts
And to make things worse
I NEED TO GO SCHOOL LATER.
So I had to wear a shoe
And I don't have a black shoe
So I'm wearing pink shoes with a BROWN AND BLACK TOP.
I mean I look like I'm a blackduck with two red legs
Yes welcome to the bimbo side of yehlin
Nevertheless
The only plus is that my hair is obedient today
I hope that's good enough.!
Never dressed so down when going near the city before
GAAAH
and and
I forgot to pain my nails D:
I wanted too!!!!
Aw
1:18 AM
Someone praised me yet again
One praised me for behavior
Another was looks
Whereas I think my only commendable trait is that I want to be the best I can be. So that I can show to others my best character
That will normally turn one into a monster
But thank god for conscience that is instilled in me. Through my parents
But basically
It's because I want to be the best
I end up picking off good traits from others. And getting rid of bad traitsthat they posses.
If Chuxuan didn't exist
I wouldn't know about what is crying for others
If Lynn Joey ver didn't exist
I wouldn't know anything about sparing a thought for others. Compassion.
And the amount of effort they put into caring for others
Gah I swear I didn't even know someone like that could exist
But I did !! I picked off the good traits from them. And ticked off the bad traits they posses too..
I think I kinda know all their not so good part
So in actual fact
I would be nothing without them
My dad taught me to be kind to the poor. Understanding.
And my parents taught me to
give the ones you love more than what you give yourself
None of the stuffs actually really came from me.
Its really simply following in their footsteps
Many of times when I meet a trouble I would close my eyes and think
If Lynn was here, what would she do? Only then I would come up with a solution
It never fails to amaze me how Lynn can understand exactly how a person is feeling and the best advice to give a person
I swear I'm trying to learn too!
To close my eyes and imagine myself in that person situation and the best advice I should give.
But it's really really not easy
That aside
I keep getting praised for my looks
I mean it's fine if you're a family member
But it's weird if you're a guy I'm not close to!
I know this will sound kinda obnoxious
I really do feel flattered when a guy I don't know does praise me.
But but but it also makes me feel wary of the guy
I mean which girl would like to have a guy friend who goes up to random girl and say
"You're quite pretty"
And the impression that the guys give off will be really bad
Plus it makes the whole situation uncomfortable
Maybe it's because I'm under the impression that guys do this cause they think girls like it
Idk to what extent that is true
But never for me will that be true
Plus ifs my looks are different
My character would exactly be the same
Okay or maybe not cause I would meet less bastards
And I don't like praises cause I don't want to have too high self confidence. That will totally suck.
Ah well!!!
Goodnight !!!!
Sunday, November 11, 2012 7:55 PM
I realised this as I was looking at my dad play a killing game
I mean back in 1946 or 1919
Soldiers were suffering from shell shock
After the war.. When they were out in the public once they heard loud noises or feel sudden vibrations
They will freeze and Their body will tremble in fear
Cause they were traumatized.
Yet now people are BRINGING the experience of war TO PEOPLE.
Through games
Movies
Videos
And now guys smile and feel a sense of satisfaction that they have killed ALL and succeeded in the level.
They smile when the act of killing with showcase a DETAILED process of KILLING.
Excellent Graphics aimed at helping people feel like they're in the game
Like its reality.
And then they sentence death to those that have been influenced by games .. Those Who treat reality as a game.
So who is really at fault ?
And as this continues what will happen to all of us.?
The virtual world is getting scarier and closer to reality.
Saturday, November 10, 2012 10:25 PM
Today I ate goooood dinner !!!!! ^^
So really happy !!!!!
Plus played just dance 3 auto dance with my family !!! Super funny
Whoever want see I can secretly show you guys the video!!
I swear I look damn ugly inside LOL
So close friends only !!
HAHAHAHA
Watching dong yi!!!!
Later with family !! Happy!! Total relaxation
I DONT NEED TO STUDY !!
Jealous jinx ? :D
LOL
I'm feeling better alr. At least I hope both us are on the same page !!!
Weird that I have nothing to do on deepavali tho . It's a holiday!!!!!
OH 10MINS LATER RAD TEXTED ME ABOUT DEEEPA !! Woo
Anyway
I know my family ain't poor
We go overseas every year
Went to Korea
Hong Kong
Italy
Switzerland
Australia
Kuching?!
Malaysia-many places
Okay Kuching was horrible
I would have went to china if I weren't so against it
Next up bang kok
Then USA !!
But I went there alr
Okay that's beside the point
The point is .....
MY PARENTS ARE VERY STINGY.
I mean we have ample of money to buy a normal car
They HAD to buy a DRACULA CAR
AKA RED PLATE CAR.
Which can only be driven at designated hours.
And then we changed cars
To a TOYOTA CAR! NORMAL BLACK PLATE CAR
And a normal person would think it as an upgrade
But it really isn't
It's SECOND HAND
AHHHHHHHHHHH
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I mean I will like something as personal as a car with my Favorite spot to be mine. Like where I sleep and relax and laugh
And it's second hand
Cause it's more cost effective
-.-
I don't like it !!!
And to me and my sis it's literally a downgrade .
The car is LOWER
Pics below I think!!
My current one is green.
And we are changing to silver....
Gaaaahhh
Runny nose now !!!
6:58 PM
I AM BORED
BORED
BORED
BORED
BORED
I thought having 5 dance sessions a week would occupy me enough
I am WRONG
WRONG
WRONG
And I'm so bored bored bored
Okay cause there's nothing to STUDY STUDY STUDY
and I'm waiting to go out Makan with family
HOSHI HOSHI HOSHI
GOOOOOOD FOOOOOOOOD
okay I am going to learn new hairstyles
Read books
Of course going out is a must
and training flexibility
It sounds so much to do
But I'm still BORED BORED BORED
there's nothing exciting anymore !!
Oh man I need to shop!!
10:58 AM
Feeling more self conscious now that I know who EXACTLY is reading my blog!!! Oh my
This feels weird
I was always under the illusion that no one actually read it!
With the exception of my aunts and cousins. And then my classmates
Cause i made it die for a few months !!!
Anyway..
I feel better now!! After my sleep!! After meeting my dear ver !!!
I mean she brought some kind of perspective to me.
Reasons why this isn't as foolish as I think it is.
Made me laugh about so many stuffs LOL
Videos. Still surprised tate Stevens was first! And then we watched broccoli for barely 10seconds
Other stuffs too!!
And I think I told her everything about ..
Her copying reaction was HILARIOUS LOL I SWEAR
It's like both of us burst out laughing and vibrated for that few minutes
Talked for 4hours straight HAHAHAHA
I dreamt of a game show
Where people were having fun!
It's pretty cool!
I still standby the fact that I don't want any guys to know about the whole thing tho.
Girlfriends are fine of course !
It just makes things easier that way!!
Can't wait to go to hoshi tonight !!
I love contemp classes !!!
Tho I'm suffering from bruises from the crazy floor work
It's just as bad as Chinese dance syf one ..? Less bad
For that I had a serious bump
The worst part about dance is that for every pain you experience in any routine. Your teacher will keep repeating that routine cause it doesn't look good since you're in pain!! So the pain repeats and repeats !!
Ok now I feel weird again !
Whatever!!
Thursday, November 8, 2012 5:45 PM
My day continues in solitude.
Met Lester today at Jp for skyfall
I don't like the movie..
But ah well it was fun!!!! ^^
Wore nice outing clothes
After that travelled one hour to lorong chuan and went to school for ogl interview !!!! Haha I tried :D
Then talked to my class guys for a while !! It was quite fun !!! Haha talking about childhood stuffs like CSS digimon powerpuff girls!!
Wore street tee with school skirt !
Now going to somerset sonata to buy ballet stuffs !!
Changing into street tee with outing shorts!
Then going for contemp open class at scape !!
Wearing street tee with dance pants
Then changing into smth more appropriate to go home tonight !!
Maybe with friends!!
Hahaha Toliet is my best friend today!!
So many different outfits for different locations !!
Meeting different people at different locations !!
Jurong point. School. Scape. Orchard plaza !! ^^ jyjy me !!!!
2:11 AM
Sometimes at late night when everything comes to a standstill..
Memories return and u feel transported back to the past.
The times where it was super fun..
Smiles laughter cheers
Damn even the tears came with smiles
now ..
I feel so upset
I wish things wouldn't be this way. Yet there's no other choice
It's just ...
happy memories that are haunting me now..
12:43 AM
Yehlin you're freaking out !!! Sleepy and freaking out !!!!
I haven't been me in ages
When all these is over I hope I can
Thank god I'm going for laughing therapy with them soon...
I can't take this
I'm so damn unstable now
Acting on impulses
Oh man.
12:11 AM
Since I can't rant on twitter
I'm gonna rant here
How how how how how
Its what I really want but I feel like it's so hard to do !!!!!
I feel so torn about this !!!!!!
Like body being shredded to pieces
Thank god I'm being shredded for the last time then
This is so horrible and so hard
Especially feeling and seeing... Experiencing the new efforts
I feel like crying but I've cried so much I think I really built an immunity about this I swear
It's like my eyes feel weird but I'm done crying cause what I'm feeling isn't pure sadness
I guess it's confusion
This sucks
Wednesday, November 7, 2012 6:34 PM
Most funny praise lately
From a friend "I think yehlin can sing!"
Most funny insult lately
From my mum "you? HAHAHAHA IMPOSSIBLE LA!! HAHAHA!"
LOL I was like "that's so encouraging mama!"
11:14 AM
LOL I AM STILL FREAKING OUT OVER THE FACT THAT I SANG OUT LOUD WITH SO MANY GUYS
hahaha
Maybe it wasn't a big deal for the guys cause they were the majority
And NEVER in my life would I think I DARE to sing (or rather shout) lyrics in the company of 4girls and 8guys
But everyone just thawed and sang !!!
And those high songs were really high so everyone sang out loud too!!
It was while I was brushing teeth today... And I suddenly realised LOL
But it was awesome!!
And I'll never exchange anything for that experience
Perks of being friendzoned :D
Total relaxation !!!!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012 8:45 PM
I never ever thought that I would think of a whole class as my family. But now to me it is ^^ never loved a class so much.
For that class I'm willing to travel any distance to meet them for minutes!
Today after op we went to the ship to celebrate end of op
Two groups me val David cjx
Yong Xiang yi cheen Andris Julian
Sadly daisy didnt come cause she had training :(
The 8 of us sat at the ship for .. Really really long LOL maybe from 12-230
Talked shit. Talked about stuffs laughed laughed laughed until I had trouble breathing
David was even talking about the largest D size which is 34cm
And Val was like
"34CM IS LARGER THAN MY 30CM RULER OMG"
LOL I laughed like crap over that one.
Plus whether lesbians or gays should be more acceptable.
Plus 'deforestation' (eating of broccoli) which resulted in brown 'paper' produced.
Then yi cheen had this really spontaneous idea to go ktv world to sing.
The girls were on
But I was an I betcha the guys were shy to sing with the girls
So when we entered ktv the guys wouldn't come
But but !!! It was very ex = Bo hua
So we went to yicheen (a damn rich girl) house and omfg
Her house has 4storeys including a roof top space where u can BARBECUE LOL AND WATCH THE STARS
Awesome !!!!!!
Okay on our way there we met two lesbians in the bus who were doing really REALLY weird stuffs
And so 1215~
We were freaking out silently
Until we got off the bus and everyone was openly swearing
Yicheen house was awesome !!! Had this KARAOKE ROOM WITH AWESOME SOUND SYSTEM. A BIG SOFA AND TABLE AND LOTSA SEATS FOR THE GUESTS
A SPECIAL ROOM FOR IT which looks damn high class to me.
Her house structure looks a lot like a 5star hotel like toilets rooms and everything but way more deco too!!
then we started watching taken !!!! ^^ which was damn scary but idk why the scenes seemed funny to me cause I've watched it before
Andris was whimpering in the quite cute way LOL every time some dude died
And they were scolding me for being a spoiler~
But the show was still good
Yicheen was an excellent host. Too excellent I think.. Until she barely had time to really enjoy the show .. Awwww
In between the show Yangyao and junwen came !! And jun Han Alvin and Vong came after that
OMG it was awesome cause when the karaok started immediately after the movie
I was secretly scared that it would be awkward but NO LOL
Junhan went blasting off with gay voices and loud voice.
Then everyone was kinda strung along and more people just sang !!!
Then the whole class was moving their mouth including David and Andris hahaha
But of course the most enthu one was Junhan !!!
But that was so nice !!!
Soothing ?!
The 12 of us were just laughing and commenting at weird music videos and jun Han singing and all just sing along
Especially at like GIRLFRIEND LOL or tear drops on my guitar. Or love story. Or Madonna songs and Katy perry fireworks etc
Or the damn high songs
Bad day bleeding love. Bolvelod? Of broken dreams
And SHOUTED BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP LOL
It was so nice I recorded it HAHAHAHA
Any 1215 people want can hear !! ^^
It was so... Pleasant? comforting? And felt a lot like a family cause no matter who Sang off tune
Like everyone voices were generally quite flat and low and lotsa songs were from girls. 4girls 8 guys ma! Since our whole class only have 7girls!
Junhan decided to substitute as a girl and sang really really nasal or high pitched at times and Alvin was just really enthu too!!!
. Heheehe
It was such a pity guan Ru group never come tho.. Like guan Ru ken ! Val had bball...
I remembered how all of us quietly freaked out when David sang bad day.. Haha like laughed out loud? secretly
I was accidentally so high I was like
"Cause u need to pee!" To Val
Oh my LOL
After karaoke then our class like 5of us helped yicheen with clearing the table which was awesome too! Then the rest of the guys were still singing LOL
But the whole experience felt really good ^^
And I feel that 1215 have really caused me to treasure these 2 years with them more than any other years I had !!
And it probably made me love Nyjc too!!
I felt almost like crying when I needed to leave early :( now I knew how ver felt ! But no choice!! I had to go home for dinner to make mama and papa happy~
I will probably replay the recordings when I feel stressed !! ^^
Love 1215!
Sunday, November 4, 2012 9:29 PM
Remembering me sis and Kai playing halo at 2am. Shouting scolding laughing being surprised. Damn it was awesome <3
Remembering how 6 of us cousins worked together to help our fathers and uncles with ah gong funeral. Buying banana clearing peanuts kneeling there and bonding watering the flowers they given. Staying together at night. Afraid to go to Toliet or bathe in that toliet..
Remembering the heavenly meal 5 of us had together dominos pizza
2 pizza
Tomyam nugget
Chicken wings
And Choco mud pie
Then feeling hungry and topping it off with cup noodles that way awesome!
Remembering my uncle saying ghosts stories in front of ah gong altar. Cause he 自己人 so 不怕 :D
I love my family ^^
10:12 AM
Since my blog is completely lacking of photos!! I've decided to upload some from my phone !!! Enjoy ^^
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Thursday, November 29, 2012 1:47 AM
I'm glad I listened
I understand both sides now
Of course I support the two girls side
Surprisingly in my mind its 2 girls vs 1 guy
And not 1 guy 1 girl vs 1 girl
Cause he played with both of us
And I know she's worried about me too !
I'm kinda worrying about her
I mean I know exactly how can it feel
Except mines magnified
No matter what
I'm glad that I listened
I'm glad that I still hold a place now.
I'm glad that everything didnt turn into nothing
I'm glad I reacted the way I did
From the start till the end
But even now I wonder
Why do you keep thinking that I'm playing a game
When you started playing with everyone feelings first.
Still no matter what I'm determined tomorrow we will form a friendship
Came up with a list of topics LOL
Should be okay !!!
Haha
I don't want everything to go into waste
At the same time I know my friends support me . So many of them!!!!
Posting photos next post !!
Goodnight !!
I feel so much better the whole ordeal is over.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012 12:52 PM
I think that .
I'm still me
And me think that
I should remember this moment
So that if smth similar happen in the future . I know what to do !!!
Now I'm trying to live through every hour.
When someone who means so much to you suddenly treat you like you're worthless
It really really hurts
Like sometimes the pain can be real! Like u can feel it.
3 years of knowing him
2 years of being together
I never thought commitment was a problem..
I can't be fun all the time.
And you can't go find other girls to replace the fun
It's not right.
And she's hurting too.
So am I.
So what do you want really ?
When someone you thought you knew so well
Someone you once thought you might be with forever
He leaves
It's hard.
Always occupy yourself with things
If you're alone doing nothing you will cry.
If you're doing nothing for hours. You will cry for hours.
So don't make yourself suffer
Listen to your friends
Go out with them
Don't coop yourself alone
You can think sucidal thoughts
Don't. Don't let yourself be that way
Everyone experiences things
It's a stage of life
Pick yourself up again
Someone else will be better :)
It just breaks my heart that the bond is broken.
11:24 AM
Okay let me write down..
Tomorrow
morning Asshole time
3 plus class time
6 plus dance potluck time
Friday
morning Dance time
Afternoon A studying time
Night Jon jinggy xav time
OMG HELL YEAH LOL
No time to think of crap !!!
And I'm late now !!!!!
6:48 AM
I feel happier every second now
Cause after I realised what happened
I talk to Jon and jinggy and we joked and play and bonded!!
Ended at 330!
Then played monopoly deal with my cousin until 5 !! And 2 people dai di!!
And then talked on the phone for like 2 hours with A.
And now talking to junwen through msg !!
My friends are supporting me all the way!!!!
So many of them telling me I deserve better.
I hope so too!!
The best part is that I know that there are other friends who can be there for me too..!!!
Thank you guys
Really sincerely thank u!!!
I can get through this !!!!!
3:29 AM
I don't even know what to post
Some part of me is too broken hearted
But a large part of me is thankful for jinggy Jon and xav .
They he help me so much in my life ^^
Help me see things again.
Move on
Tell me that in life you will meet assholes
I guess I'm still 17 so my stage of meeting assholes ain't over.
Yes some where deep inside I just feel broken.
But I understand her. Cause she's crying too.
I just don't know why he has to toy with both of us.
Desperately needing friends now.
To distract me.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012 10:07 AM
Done playing van guard with my cousin. I wish he was as good in the games with his studies
I mean he MEMORISED every card special ability
Haha I still had fun bonding
Now he's reading manga
I'm sleepy
Good night !!!!!!
Oh yeah Jon help me a lot ! Helped help.
8:32 AM
I have decided to do some volunteer thing cause I have been a frog in a well.
And I'm dragging a friend along.
If its done well then I think it will be awesome ..!!!
Also I'm gonna entertain my dear male cousin now. With running man or smth
For this first hour
I thought of how much I wish Jon was there.
Okay he still is there for me
But I remember last time how he baby me through my troubles
Everytime I remember smth sad I will remember him attempting to make me feel better.
Okay I was gonna elaborate but my dear cousins gonna teach me van guard now HAHAHAHA
8:14 AM
I've decided since my last tear will never fall
I will post everyday what I have done to make myself feel better
Which makes waaaay more sense than posting posts that make everyone else feel sad !!
So now the question begins
I really really need things to occupy my time!!!!
Monday, November 26, 2012 9:14 PM
Part of me feel like I'm done with it.
Part of me feels regretful.
That's why the final decision was so vague.
But I can't let go so easily.
Anyway I'm starting today.
I'm gonna fully concentrate on my studies..
concentrate on forming close ties with my friends.
After As I let the pieces fall wherever they will fall.
And I have decided not to hide it anymore. Cause he didnt do it anyway.
So for now.
I'm proclaiming that
after three long years
IM BOYFRIEND-LESS .
I'm upset. Yet I don't regret what I did at all.
You're right.
you dont deserve me
I won't let the current you ..be my priority.
And I have cried enough.
9:14 AM
I was looking at xfactor that day.
Thanksgiving was awesome !!!
I mean everyone was so genuine ..!
So I asked myself
If I could thank one person in my whole life.
Who would that be ..?
And I realised it was nobody.
Not that I'm an ingrate really..!!
It's just that different people has helped me throughout my life !!
When I was baby till pri 5/6 I depended on my parents
P6 I learnt a lot from Chuxuan.
Sec 1-2 I depended on Lynn and my bros
Sec 3-4 there was Lynn radiance siling my fake bros Zhenyi even ? Ver?
J1 was obviously ver and other close alies
My family plays a lot together but we aren't actually really close..
My parents like to put on a strong front in front of the children so I picked it up from them..
So I think that the best candidate would be Lynn
But I just think the only person I could count on was myself.
The only person who has learnt from her past mistakes and stay strong would be me.
I mean if I wasn't strong enough. No one can help me.
It sounds a bit lonely .. But maybe if I could express my gratitude to something.
It would be my past memories.
2:53 AM
I was gonna post listing out top 10 reasons why I feel like I should get drunk.
Probably adversely influencing my cousins reading this blog.
But my friends talked to me.
Whether its twitter whatsapp or message.
I wanna thank those people who cared for me today.
And those who didnt show but I know you care anyway.
Junwen
Andrew
Jinggy
Jon
Lynn
Venetia
Ver
Xukai
Louis George Elijah Justin
Jaser and 1215 family.
Yeah ^^
And for those bastards who made me cry.
I hope you will never find girlfriends for the rest of your life.
you don't deserve any love since you are able to use drinking as an excuse to hurt others.
Sunday, November 25, 2012 4:16 PM
If drinking was an excuse..
I would get drunk for the first time in my life and scold you every fking vulgar word I have in my vocabulary.
Lose control of my emotions.
And question why the hell do you choose this make this so difficult for everyone including yourself.
I really .. Wouldn't mind getting drunk now.
11:02 AM
On a random note..
I think everyone should embrace whatever experiences they might have.
Because it is only then can you say wiser things behave better. Like learning what's the best step to take.
And when u remember exactly how things felt like .. You can give the best advice ..!
That's what I think ...
But sometimes that results in me having multiple 'faces'
Masks.. Which kinda suck..
Cause sad memories are kinda hidden locked away somewhere.
Or like a deep wound waiting to be reopened..
Tho most of the time I put on a happy mask.
And then I can feel really upset at times and have like 'deep' thoughts?
Maybe that's why some of my closest friends can't understand me :(
10:29 AM
I am so damn tempted to post an angry post after I read something
But I shan't cause it will ruin all the readers mood
All I want to say is..
Whatever amount of CRAP sadness you feel
I felt 10times worse
CAUSE YOU DID IT TO ME and I just grit my teeth and forgave you over and over.
Saturday, November 24, 2012 10:26 PM
Our last journey in our car .. :(
Aww I miss it!!!!
And random photos !
11:12 AM
Omg I have been so busy and so tired this whole week
And had a lot of fun
And everytime I think I'm gonna be alone to rest and relax and get some sleep ...
I DONT GET TO. LOL
Let me reiterate my days backwards
Friday!
Yesterday !!
Had that bloody one hour of lecture and then FREE OF SCHOOL!!!
As usual eat with my lovely awesome great homely class
Lecture ended at 10! Dance started at 130!
So I thought that ill be alone or smth during that few hours
And able to catch some (magnificent) sleep. Cause I'm so damn sleep deprived
But NO LOL
My dearest class talked chat for hours and hours until 130 when I had to leave them for dance hahaha
We talked about so many things !!
Okay one part is about friendzoned
Another about stealing peeks at pretty girls
Yeah you got it haha all the relationship boy/girl thing
Oh ya one part we were saying wrong things like
Two girls one cup EWWWW
or .. Other stuffs LOL
The weird part of that conver was it was all guys like 6 of them!!!
Like surrounding me..
But I REALLY DIDNT PLAN FOR IT TO BE THAT WAY!!!!!!!!!!
LOL I was surprised when they were doing it !!!!
I think cause I was the center of conversation or smth !!!
Hahaha then Val ong was sitting at the side and refusing to join in !
Then after that dance and oh my I was very bored !!!
Cause like we do the same choreo .. So I started practicing my pose turns
Haha cause my started of pose turns were dropping !!
And then I did side splits and center split !!!!
Cause my flexibility bad too!!
Hahaha
Then the dance people lepak a while until 4!! Then went to shower in school (AWESOME SHOWER)
And went to changi to send Queeny off !!!
I like the part were they all pray together for her !!!! It really reminds me of my USA trip too ^^ praying for souvenirs and safety LOL
Then George had an extra praise for Queeny !!!! ^^
As usual it was gay and fun and everything !! Photos are self explanatory !!!
The talk I had with Kai en from changi to yishun was the interesting one !!
Talked about maaany things !!
Finally reached home close to eleven and bathed and watched xfactor :(
Poor Beatrice ...
Thursday!!!
In the morning I was on my way to school and I met Shirlynn and we talked !!!! Since she stays at cck we talked for super long !!!!! Haha it was awesome too!!
Talked about results.. Dance.. Ballet.. Internal politics !! Haha I sound so pro :D
Was gonna be a calm and happy quiet day for myself cause I didn't have anyth planned after school!! Boy I was wrong!
After crazy lectures.. Was supposed to be with my class but I peied ver instead !!!! Aww ate omelette !! And talked told her about stuffs hahaha
Then went for ogl briefing !! That I had lotsa fun in and made lotsa friends and I think Jaser will be awesome !!!!!!!!
After that me Kaien Xukai decided to go j8 to eat some snacks thingy!! Ate snow ice mango thing !!!!! Awesome !!!! Tasty!! Scrumptious !!!!
Then needed to rush home to pei my dear cousin !!!! Awwww I feel so bad making her wait at cck !!!!
And was supposed to bond with her but I was mean and I bonded with Jaser instead through whatsapp !
Then Jon and jinggy joined in the fun and I whatsapp them too!! Along with Louis and ver !!
It was crazy fun!!
I burst out laughing every 2mins
And my mum will STARE at me LOL
But the conversations were too funny !!!!!!!!
And when my cousin complained on twitter about my laughing.. I ROFL-Ed literally LOL
Too happy !!!!
Wednesday !!
After school had dance with FLUUUUU
bad flu but i still did half of pt !!!!
then met Lester and buona !!!
Talked about so many things too!!! Had lotsa fun a bit like old times .. !! Except that now different cliques totally so he can tell me about stuffs that no one is supposed to know :D
At night went for Ballet and died at ballet !!!
Crazy replacement teacher
But guess what !! I didn't have ache the next day :O
Tuesday !!
We celebrated our dearest .. YICHEEN birthday !!!!
With pinyata !!!! Haha super fun whenever she missed the pinyata !! Cause we blind folded her LOL
Plus she used so much force too !! Haha then hit the alumni thing once really really hard !!
And stepped on my bag LOL
Finally the pinyata burst !!!!
Then all of us helped clean up ^^
When there are photos I will post here !!
Class laughed together and everything !! And then wrote stuffs for lavid !!
After that I played with my bubbles and daisy bubbles !!!!!
It was really really fun like a pri school kid !! But awesome !
Ver Samuel darrin Waise George played with it too!!!!!
At the atrium LOL where there were many people !!
The bubbles were so big !!!! Okay quite big !! And pretty !!!!!
Went to bouna with my dear Lynn and played with bubbles too!! Bonded !!! I miss her !!!!!!
Monday .. I think I went for karaoke !!
Yeah and that sums up my weekdays !!!!
Haha crazy and tiring right
And from Monday to Thursday I was suffering from flu and throat pain!!!
Really bad sometimes >< kept drinking water and everything !!!
Brought like 3 tissue packets to school LOL a day!!!
Cause everyday use a lot !!!
Friday On my way home from changi to yishun to cck
I totally knocked out on the train. Slept within 1min of sitting
And this dude turned and stared at me cause i head bang on him LOL
Okay and now I'm going out again
Holidays started .. Ill miss school..mates LOL
Bye !!!!!!
Friday, November 23, 2012 8:41 AM
The hard thing about spending 45mins in the train is that..
For a girl.. When you sit. Your knees have to be stuck together.
If not it looks really obscene (no shit)
But the problem is you can't cross your legs over each other.
Cause that will result in a leg sticking out and morning train is too packed to leave space for leg sticking out people.
So most of the time I am forced to sit in a way I learnt from princess dairies.!!
It's quite nice I think LOL
Like two knees join then both feet slant and one feet behind another!
So you're crossed . Knees together . And not affecting anyone
But this requires .. Some sort of muscle to still maintain the knees together
It's not painful or tiring or anyth. It's just really really troublesome cause even when you sleep you need to check your legs LOL
Okay okay ill be posting late afternoon again !!
Tuesday, November 20, 2012 2:44 PM
So many things to post about.. Lets just start with...
Karaoke !!!
Okay basically I was having a bad throat infection I think.. Around Friday started !
Saturday fell sick! Sunday recovered slightly! Monday fell slightly sick again.. Like I felt that its not just a simple sore throat.
Like there's something wrong with my throat.. Idk how to explain.
And then Monday.. Went to sing karaoke with vernice Eleanor and Samantha LOL
It wasn't very high initially .
But I think as 'love story' 'single ladies' 'sweeter' and this rap song where playing all of us where just singing/shouting? Out loud LOL
I mean who wouldn't want their Romeo to save them early ??
Sweeter was so cool cause me and ver just kept thinking of jennel and like smiling to ourselves LOL
Awww first time listening to the actual song tho LOL
And it was no surprise that we extended the hours from 2 to 3
And the reason why we stopped eventually was cause me and ver couldn't take it anymore.
It's like u use your voice until it sounds so so strained. And then you sing on.
Plus there wasn't much source of liquids so every drop was like a savior to our throat
Yeah it was damn bad LOL
Nevertheless we still had lotsa fun ^^
Posting photos
Oh Lynn's coming :D
I shan't be angry at her for making me stand and wait for 30mins while feeling sick LOL
12:24 AM
The title sounds chim and deep.
But in fact, it's not
I'm just gonna talk about this very very weird habit of mine.. To adopt people
Like secretly
They have no idea.
I adopt people who are struggling. these people are also ppl I can connect with.
Have similar brain wave ?
Similar thinking
And I can sympathize with them very very well
I will like care for them
Be there for them
Help them solve their issues
Like I'm their older sister and I have adopted them as my younger siblings
You know this protective feeling a mother has for her child ?
Similarly what older siblings feel when their younger sibling gets bullied?
Yeah it's like I feel protective of some people.
I think it's due to my obsession of having a younger sibling LOL
I want one so much
Just as much as I love kids
I swear if my child is in any form of danger I'm willing to risk my life for him/her.
This protective thing~
As a result I have it on some of my friends
An example will be my younger cousin..
LOL I would crack my head and think of the best way to answers the questions that she threw at me one after another.
Another person I had adopted was Xavier
There was this period of time he felt very very low. And everyone in sec sch knows that he's like my close close brother..
As close as a blood brother. Like kid around bully around. Disturb and insult LOL I wrote a letter to him to cheer him up!
For a period of time in sec3 start I feel like I adopted ver too!
Cause she depended on me a lot for one week!
I adopt Joey too!!
Like I feel like my bond with her is close no matter what ! And I'll be there for her in any situation !!
I only adopt those people with similar thinking as mine.. Like I just abruptly try to help them as much as possible ..
This is probably cause I feel adopted by Lynn! And ver sometimes!!
LOL like I'm the kid and they're the adult!
Always there to give me cool and calm advice !!
So I kinda adopt other people !!
But I'm starting to think I shouldn't !
Goodnight !!
Monday, November 19, 2012 1:13 AM
Yes in this post I'm just gonna talk in riddles
I think even ver has difficulty deciphering what am I talking about
You see even though cyl might sound calm and confident and very sure of what I want and what I am doing...
Sometimes
Things throw me off balance
And I do things I don't understand why.
LOL
I can imagine my close friends raising their eyebrows when 'cyl' and 'calm' go together
But yes even when I'm crazy and hyper I know what I'm doing
This time I don't
I'm reacting in a weird way.
Having impulses to do what I shouldn't
Yes and beginning to sound despo
I don't know why I feel like I want it so badly
Until I have to keep myself in check frequently. VERY frequently.
Making sure I don't throw things off balance..
This is so weird
I've never behaved this way before....
Sunday, November 18, 2012 3:21 PM
I have officially unprivated this blog due to extreme boredom !!!
Hello!!!!!
The below posts might be annoying
Cause I might sound obnoxious
Don't judge me k !!!!!
Okay I know everyone forms an impression of everyone
Time to running man. !!!!!
I hope this blog doesn't change your impression of me from good to bad !!
3:09 PM
I've always reserved my weekends for family
But my parents are sick
And my sis is having major exams
So I'm just lazing on the sofa bored..
But right I'm supposed to be training my flexibility now or clearing my table
I'm so laaazy!!
Just done reading percy Jackson book
Awesome!
Every part of my name is hard to spell
So many people spell it wrongly.. It's turning into like a 'internal' joke to myself
For example when people text me Ye ling or chen .. I will chuckle to myself LOL
Sound so manly
And I don't bother correcting the person
Not cause I'm mean or anyth
I just feel lazy and it's kinda funny..
Cause sometimes people say it with so much conviction and confidence
LOL
Starting to un-private this blog
Way more fun that way I think..
Now I just gotta hide away all the secret posts....
4:28 AM
Looked so haggard when ver came over !! So bad headache and fatigue !!
But still had fun
And the outing with the girls made me really happy !!!!
4:23 AM
It's 3.40am now and I just read ver junwen and cjx blog.!
I chuckled to myself a number of times LOL
I always thought chuckling was a man's thing~
Anyway
Junwen please please study hard k :)
You don't have to start like right now ..! But start revising through lectures after every single lecture.! Doing all tutorials. Noting down every single possible thing there!
Somehow I like the night now
And I feel so proud of myself for multiple things
So before I let it go to my head
I've decided to give myself a gigantic self praise here
And then never talk about it ever forever !
I am ...
Very very shocked that I've attained 63 rank points
Cause for mid years I had like 29 or smth
And the immense improvement really took me by surprise
I remembering asking the dance guys in gay okay for mid years
How many rank points ?
Then they were like 50-60
AND THEY MADE IT SOUND SO EASY!!
I secretly thought Siao ah how reach 50. That's like doubling mine ..?
And I categorized them as 'very + secretly smart people' in my mind
Of course I still treated them as close good friends !! I was just so surprised
And throughout the next few months even during promos I was like..
They confirm do well damn smart one!
Everytime I see them studying/playing then I know that it's okay for them cause smart what!
For promos I've studied so much and I when i look back.. I am really surprised
Of course it's not like a Looot !! But it's still substantial .!
I remember that by term3 holidays I finished revising maths chem econs syllabus plus did some papers when I was done
Cause I didn't do much for each subject.. Just read through chapter after chapter
But at the end of the week
I've realised that I didn't remember so many things I've read. Almost everything
That's where I started like my second round of revision for chem econs
Like I just reread through again. And for chem do more papers.. Maths too!
I guess the second round really saved me
When I reached promo period itself.. I REALLY DIDNT FEEL LIKE STUDYING ANYMORE LOL
Remember complaining to my parents.. Don't know what to study. Don't feel like studying.
To be frank I still am frustrated about the fact that I didn't do very well for maths.
I mean after revising through syllabus.. iI did 2011 2010 2009 2008 2007 every single question. 3hours each. Painstakingly.. And of course for like 2009 paper I spent like 5-6 hours cause I didn't get any shit..
Gah I'm starting to criticize myself
Anyway I am still very very surprised that I've gotten rank points higher than many others
I've never really been 'that girl' that was on par or even better than people who scored 20-30 rank points better for mye.
But I guess hard work pays off !!!
In one way or another
So I'm happy !!!!
Satisfied !!!
Proud of myself ??
I mean 63 leh LOL I CAN'T BELIEVE IT TOO.
I guess not going out almost through the holidays and skipping ballet helped LOL
So so so so so
I will work harder !!
Next year. Or end of this year..
To try to make my smartness same and people like Yangyao or even... Wesley..! Okay that's impossible but ill try..!
Can't let this make me complacent !!!
Use it as encouragement or a push to do well!!
I mean next one year really really determines your future
What 'subject' you will be studying FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
And it measures the salary you will earn
And then there's this 7months of break too!!
Okay I feel so fueled to study now !!!!
A second self praise
Would be the amount of times I dance per week!!
Wednesday night ballet
Thursday night contemp
Friday street
Saturday ballet
Sunday ballet
Yet I feel that I'm a really really weak ballet dancer.
I can't do doubles. And I have no strength.
The only thing I'm good at is presentation. Face. Neckline. And jumps
Probably it's cause I'm jumping so much!!!!!
But yes... It sucks cause I can't do doubles.
Some days I can. Some days I can't.. It just really feels random..
I wish there are one hundred allegro (jump) exercises. And then no pirouettes at all..
But I feel that I'm starting to get the essence of these three genres!!
I used to be so messed up..!
Contemp has so much head. Expression. Strength. Sharpness. Very very big steps.
Ballet is so much more mellow!
It concentrates a lot on subtle things that normal people can't see.
Aside from grace .. there's Extent of turn out. Totally straight kneecap. Weight shifting on the spot. Good use of head. And pointed toes at ALL times. HAHAHAHA I did a funny looking dance/jump on the spot pushing out pointed toes cause it was a running step but there wasn't any space!!! And my teacher was like shouting 'toes toes toes!!''
Okay and for street it is very grounded. Low. And your grabbing your pants perpetually. I HAVE NO IDEA WHY LOL used to think of it as really weird.. But now I'm used to it!
Steps are not supposed to be sharp but smooth. But Since I can only achieve grace or sharpness
I decided to go for sharp.
Your bending your knees perpetually . back is never ever full straight unlike in contemp/ballet. very strong steps.. a lot of strength is needed too!!
and when the teacher tells you to go full out.. You need to have the mentality like you wanna kill someone or you want to show off.
Cause have to create this fierce look and feeling in your step !
It's like putting on a mask for me!!
Another self
Adrenaline rush is crazy..
I'm not very good at street either. It doesn't come as naturally for me as what I see others do..
But I'm trying!!!
And I feel happy doing this !!!
Like I'm making full use of my time to become a better dancer
I don't feel much aches anymore .. Which make me feel very proud of myself !! Like I've become stronger!
And I'm getting a better sense of my movement and limbs ?
Like I know how to copy well..and go full out.!!
Which makes me happy !!
Sleepy !!
4.31 am now !!
Goodnight !!!!
Saturday, November 17, 2012 7:34 PM
Hey my dear readers
I am happy and satisfied
But to be frank
I feel very very bad for my sis ..
I said some bad things to her.
And even tho I might like to sound so secure
I feel very guilty
And I miss getting hyper with her :(
Miss it so much
Gonna apologise soon I think ..!
I love 1215
It's like we just keep having lunch together and joking around
I love rad siling Andrea Reine too
That day we played and joke until so fun and happy and talked non stop!! It was super super fun I swear !!
I love vernice !!
I think we are super close !! Like her presence does make me happy!
Despite the fatigue and headache I experienced..!
But on the whole
I've realised that as I grow older
In conversations there will always be some sort of silence
I used to deem it as awkward !!
But now I don't anymore !!
It's like their company you enjoy
Plus you know that the other party or parties will be thinking of topics for conversations
So when you know that they are putting in effort .. It makes me happy too !
On the other hand
I HATE PERIOD.
It sucks hard core
It makes me weak. Tired.
Cause of lack of oxygenated blood that travels to your muscles and brain.
Plus your body will need to keep replacing blood that you lost.
And then there comes the stomach cramp.
I swear it feels like someone is hammering into your stomach
The pain sounds too unbearable right ?
But it happens. Until sometimes when I'm at home ..I just lie on the floor or on the bed and cry
It's especially worse when I have dance and I'm experiencing aches that make me have difficulty standing up or walking
Aches + cramps make me feel pain while being still
It's so unfair cause every girl experiences different levels of pain!!
Some don't at all
Some mild
The doctor said that mine is severe....
Which is soo horrible
But but but
I'm still happy with my life now
A bit confused about my own feelings
But hey? That's part and parcel of being a teen ^^
Tuesday, November 13, 2012 12:24 PM
I don't like being a girl
You get really bad moodswings sometimes
And even when you're conscious you do
I promise it's hard to control
ESPECIALLY cause you know you're having mood swings.
You try to control your actions more
So even thought you feel so angry like a volcano has erupted..
You can't react to it
So in some sense
That's worse
Much worse
Your feelings goes to extremes every few minutes
When I opened this post I felt angry tired sad
Yet when I started typing
I feel happy
Which goes to show how uncontrollable things can be
And I tried to engage in dance or reading or some sort of activity
But I will still drift back to the sad things
Which is bad !!!
Still I'm happy now with my family
Some part of me is glad that I kinda made the right decision
12:06 AM
Today was weird for me
But nevertheless happy
It took my mind off bad things
Chatted and played and disturbed
20min of h2h talk
And the rest filled with Percy Jackson !
^^
Monday, November 12, 2012 2:01 PM
I mean
It's bad enough that I've decided to dress down since I treat 1215 as a family now.
So I'm going to DOHBY in SHIRT AND SHORTS
Reminds me of going downstairs the dressing
No tucking in
No belt whatever
It's just a shirt and shorts
And to make things worse
I NEED TO GO SCHOOL LATER.
So I had to wear a shoe
And I don't have a black shoe
So I'm wearing pink shoes with a BROWN AND BLACK TOP.
I mean I look like I'm a blackduck with two red legs
Yes welcome to the bimbo side of yehlin
Nevertheless
The only plus is that my hair is obedient today
I hope that's good enough.!
Never dressed so down when going near the city before
GAAAH
and and
I forgot to pain my nails D:
I wanted too!!!!
Aw
1:18 AM
Someone praised me yet again
One praised me for behavior
Another was looks
Whereas I think my only commendable trait is that I want to be the best I can be. So that I can show to others my best character
That will normally turn one into a monster
But thank god for conscience that is instilled in me. Through my parents
But basically
It's because I want to be the best
I end up picking off good traits from others. And getting rid of bad traitsthat they posses.
If Chuxuan didn't exist
I wouldn't know about what is crying for others
If Lynn Joey ver didn't exist
I wouldn't know anything about sparing a thought for others. Compassion.
And the amount of effort they put into caring for others
Gah I swear I didn't even know someone like that could exist
But I did !! I picked off the good traits from them. And ticked off the bad traits they posses too..
I think I kinda know all their not so good part
So in actual fact
I would be nothing without them
My dad taught me to be kind to the poor. Understanding.
And my parents taught me to
give the ones you love more than what you give yourself
None of the stuffs actually really came from me.
Its really simply following in their footsteps
Many of times when I meet a trouble I would close my eyes and think
If Lynn was here, what would she do? Only then I would come up with a solution
It never fails to amaze me how Lynn can understand exactly how a person is feeling and the best advice to give a person
I swear I'm trying to learn too!
To close my eyes and imagine myself in that person situation and the best advice I should give.
But it's really really not easy
That aside
I keep getting praised for my looks
I mean it's fine if you're a family member
But it's weird if you're a guy I'm not close to!
I know this will sound kinda obnoxious
I really do feel flattered when a guy I don't know does praise me.
But but but it also makes me feel wary of the guy
I mean which girl would like to have a guy friend who goes up to random girl and say
"You're quite pretty"
And the impression that the guys give off will be really bad
Plus it makes the whole situation uncomfortable
Maybe it's because I'm under the impression that guys do this cause they think girls like it
Idk to what extent that is true
But never for me will that be true
Plus ifs my looks are different
My character would exactly be the same
Okay or maybe not cause I would meet less bastards
And I don't like praises cause I don't want to have too high self confidence. That will totally suck.
Ah well!!!
Goodnight !!!!
Sunday, November 11, 2012 7:55 PM
I realised this as I was looking at my dad play a killing game
I mean back in 1946 or 1919
Soldiers were suffering from shell shock
After the war.. When they were out in the public once they heard loud noises or feel sudden vibrations
They will freeze and Their body will tremble in fear
Cause they were traumatized.
Yet now people are BRINGING the experience of war TO PEOPLE.
Through games
Movies
Videos
And now guys smile and feel a sense of satisfaction that they have killed ALL and succeeded in the level.
They smile when the act of killing with showcase a DETAILED process of KILLING.
Excellent Graphics aimed at helping people feel like they're in the game
Like its reality.
And then they sentence death to those that have been influenced by games .. Those Who treat reality as a game.
So who is really at fault ?
And as this continues what will happen to all of us.?
The virtual world is getting scarier and closer to reality.
Saturday, November 10, 2012 10:25 PM
Today I ate goooood dinner !!!!! ^^
So really happy !!!!!
Plus played just dance 3 auto dance with my family !!! Super funny
Whoever want see I can secretly show you guys the video!!
I swear I look damn ugly inside LOL
So close friends only !!
HAHAHAHA
Watching dong yi!!!!
Later with family !! Happy!! Total relaxation
I DONT NEED TO STUDY !!
Jealous jinx ? :D
LOL
I'm feeling better alr. At least I hope both us are on the same page !!!
Weird that I have nothing to do on deepavali tho . It's a holiday!!!!!
OH 10MINS LATER RAD TEXTED ME ABOUT DEEEPA !! Woo
Anyway
I know my family ain't poor
We go overseas every year
Went to Korea
Hong Kong
Italy
Switzerland
Australia
Kuching?!
Malaysia-many places
Okay Kuching was horrible
I would have went to china if I weren't so against it
Next up bang kok
Then USA !!
But I went there alr
Okay that's beside the point
The point is .....
MY PARENTS ARE VERY STINGY.
I mean we have ample of money to buy a normal car
They HAD to buy a DRACULA CAR
AKA RED PLATE CAR.
Which can only be driven at designated hours.
And then we changed cars
To a TOYOTA CAR! NORMAL BLACK PLATE CAR
And a normal person would think it as an upgrade
But it really isn't
It's SECOND HAND
AHHHHHHHHHHH
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
I mean I will like something as personal as a car with my Favorite spot to be mine. Like where I sleep and relax and laugh
And it's second hand
Cause it's more cost effective
-.-
I don't like it !!!
And to me and my sis it's literally a downgrade .
The car is LOWER
Pics below I think!!
My current one is green.
And we are changing to silver....
Gaaaahhh
Runny nose now !!!
6:58 PM
I AM BORED
BORED
BORED
BORED
BORED
I thought having 5 dance sessions a week would occupy me enough
I am WRONG
WRONG
WRONG
And I'm so bored bored bored
Okay cause there's nothing to STUDY STUDY STUDY
and I'm waiting to go out Makan with family
HOSHI HOSHI HOSHI
GOOOOOOD FOOOOOOOOD
okay I am going to learn new hairstyles
Read books
Of course going out is a must
and training flexibility
It sounds so much to do
But I'm still BORED BORED BORED
there's nothing exciting anymore !!
Oh man I need to shop!!
10:58 AM
Feeling more self conscious now that I know who EXACTLY is reading my blog!!! Oh my
This feels weird
I was always under the illusion that no one actually read it!
With the exception of my aunts and cousins. And then my classmates
Cause i made it die for a few months !!!
Anyway..
I feel better now!! After my sleep!! After meeting my dear ver !!!
I mean she brought some kind of perspective to me.
Reasons why this isn't as foolish as I think it is.
Made me laugh about so many stuffs LOL
Videos. Still surprised tate Stevens was first! And then we watched broccoli for barely 10seconds
Other stuffs too!!
And I think I told her everything about ..
Her copying reaction was HILARIOUS LOL I SWEAR
It's like both of us burst out laughing and vibrated for that few minutes
Talked for 4hours straight HAHAHAHA
I dreamt of a game show
Where people were having fun!
It's pretty cool!
I still standby the fact that I don't want any guys to know about the whole thing tho.
Girlfriends are fine of course !
It just makes things easier that way!!
Can't wait to go to hoshi tonight !!
I love contemp classes !!!
Tho I'm suffering from bruises from the crazy floor work
It's just as bad as Chinese dance syf one ..? Less bad
For that I had a serious bump
The worst part about dance is that for every pain you experience in any routine. Your teacher will keep repeating that routine cause it doesn't look good since you're in pain!! So the pain repeats and repeats !!
Ok now I feel weird again !
Whatever!!
Thursday, November 8, 2012 5:45 PM
My day continues in solitude.
Met Lester today at Jp for skyfall
I don't like the movie..
But ah well it was fun!!!! ^^
Wore nice outing clothes
After that travelled one hour to lorong chuan and went to school for ogl interview !!!! Haha I tried :D
Then talked to my class guys for a while !! It was quite fun !!! Haha talking about childhood stuffs like CSS digimon powerpuff girls!!
Wore street tee with school skirt !
Now going to somerset sonata to buy ballet stuffs !!
Changing into street tee with outing shorts!
Then going for contemp open class at scape !!
Wearing street tee with dance pants
Then changing into smth more appropriate to go home tonight !!
Maybe with friends!!
Hahaha Toliet is my best friend today!!
So many different outfits for different locations !!
Meeting different people at different locations !!
Jurong point. School. Scape. Orchard plaza !! ^^ jyjy me !!!!
2:11 AM
Sometimes at late night when everything comes to a standstill..
Memories return and u feel transported back to the past.
The times where it was super fun..
Smiles laughter cheers
Damn even the tears came with smiles
now ..
I feel so upset
I wish things wouldn't be this way. Yet there's no other choice
It's just ...
happy memories that are haunting me now..
12:43 AM
Yehlin you're freaking out !!! Sleepy and freaking out !!!!
I haven't been me in ages
When all these is over I hope I can
Thank god I'm going for laughing therapy with them soon...
I can't take this
I'm so damn unstable now
Acting on impulses
Oh man.
12:11 AM
Since I can't rant on twitter
I'm gonna rant here
How how how how how
Its what I really want but I feel like it's so hard to do !!!!!
I feel so torn about this !!!!!!
Like body being shredded to pieces
Thank god I'm being shredded for the last time then
This is so horrible and so hard
Especially feeling and seeing... Experiencing the new efforts
I feel like crying but I've cried so much I think I really built an immunity about this I swear
It's like my eyes feel weird but I'm done crying cause what I'm feeling isn't pure sadness
I guess it's confusion
This sucks
Wednesday, November 7, 2012 6:34 PM
Most funny praise lately
From a friend "I think yehlin can sing!"
Most funny insult lately
From my mum "you? HAHAHAHA IMPOSSIBLE LA!! HAHAHA!"
LOL I was like "that's so encouraging mama!"
11:14 AM
LOL I AM STILL FREAKING OUT OVER THE FACT THAT I SANG OUT LOUD WITH SO MANY GUYS
hahaha
Maybe it wasn't a big deal for the guys cause they were the majority
And NEVER in my life would I think I DARE to sing (or rather shout) lyrics in the company of 4girls and 8guys
But everyone just thawed and sang !!!
And those high songs were really high so everyone sang out loud too!!
It was while I was brushing teeth today... And I suddenly realised LOL
But it was awesome!!
And I'll never exchange anything for that experience
Perks of being friendzoned :D
Total relaxation !!!!
Tuesday, November 6, 2012 8:45 PM
I never ever thought that I would think of a whole class as my family. But now to me it is ^^ never loved a class so much.
For that class I'm willing to travel any distance to meet them for minutes!
Today after op we went to the ship to celebrate end of op
Two groups me val David cjx
Yong Xiang yi cheen Andris Julian
Sadly daisy didnt come cause she had training :(
The 8 of us sat at the ship for .. Really really long LOL maybe from 12-230
Talked shit. Talked about stuffs laughed laughed laughed until I had trouble breathing
David was even talking about the largest D size which is 34cm
And Val was like
"34CM IS LARGER THAN MY 30CM RULER OMG"
LOL I laughed like crap over that one.
Plus whether lesbians or gays should be more acceptable.
Plus 'deforestation' (eating of broccoli) which resulted in brown 'paper' produced.
Then yi cheen had this really spontaneous idea to go ktv world to sing.
The girls were on
But I was an I betcha the guys were shy to sing with the girls
So when we entered ktv the guys wouldn't come
But but !!! It was very ex = Bo hua
So we went to yicheen (a damn rich girl) house and omfg
Her house has 4storeys including a roof top space where u can BARBECUE LOL AND WATCH THE STARS
Awesome !!!!!!
Okay on our way there we met two lesbians in the bus who were doing really REALLY weird stuffs
And so 1215~
We were freaking out silently
Until we got off the bus and everyone was openly swearing
Yicheen house was awesome !!! Had this KARAOKE ROOM WITH AWESOME SOUND SYSTEM. A BIG SOFA AND TABLE AND LOTSA SEATS FOR THE GUESTS
A SPECIAL ROOM FOR IT which looks damn high class to me.
Her house structure looks a lot like a 5star hotel like toilets rooms and everything but way more deco too!!
then we started watching taken !!!! ^^ which was damn scary but idk why the scenes seemed funny to me cause I've watched it before
Andris was whimpering in the quite cute way LOL every time some dude died
And they were scolding me for being a spoiler~
But the show was still good
Yicheen was an excellent host. Too excellent I think.. Until she barely had time to really enjoy the show .. Awwww
In between the show Yangyao and junwen came !! And jun Han Alvin and Vong came after that
OMG it was awesome cause when the karaok started immediately after the movie
I was secretly scared that it would be awkward but NO LOL
Junhan went blasting off with gay voices and loud voice.
Then everyone was kinda strung along and more people just sang !!!
Then the whole class was moving their mouth including David and Andris hahaha
But of course the most enthu one was Junhan !!!
But that was so nice !!!
Soothing ?!
The 12 of us were just laughing and commenting at weird music videos and jun Han singing and all just sing along
Especially at like GIRLFRIEND LOL or tear drops on my guitar. Or love story. Or Madonna songs and Katy perry fireworks etc
Or the damn high songs
Bad day bleeding love. Bolvelod? Of broken dreams
And SHOUTED BAA BAA BLACK SHEEP LOL
It was so nice I recorded it HAHAHAHA
Any 1215 people want can hear !! ^^
It was so... Pleasant? comforting? And felt a lot like a family cause no matter who Sang off tune
Like everyone voices were generally quite flat and low and lotsa songs were from girls. 4girls 8 guys ma! Since our whole class only have 7girls!
Junhan decided to substitute as a girl and sang really really nasal or high pitched at times and Alvin was just really enthu too!!!
. Heheehe
It was such a pity guan Ru group never come tho.. Like guan Ru ken ! Val had bball...
I remembered how all of us quietly freaked out when David sang bad day.. Haha like laughed out loud? secretly
I was accidentally so high I was like
"Cause u need to pee!" To Val
Oh my LOL
After karaoke then our class like 5of us helped yicheen with clearing the table which was awesome too! Then the rest of the guys were still singing LOL
But the whole experience felt really good ^^
And I feel that 1215 have really caused me to treasure these 2 years with them more than any other years I had !!
And it probably made me love Nyjc too!!
I felt almost like crying when I needed to leave early :( now I knew how ver felt ! But no choice!! I had to go home for dinner to make mama and papa happy~
I will probably replay the recordings when I feel stressed !! ^^
Love 1215!
Sunday, November 4, 2012 9:29 PM
Remembering me sis and Kai playing halo at 2am. Shouting scolding laughing being surprised. Damn it was awesome <3
Remembering how 6 of us cousins worked together to help our fathers and uncles with ah gong funeral. Buying banana clearing peanuts kneeling there and bonding watering the flowers they given. Staying together at night. Afraid to go to Toliet or bathe in that toliet..
Remembering the heavenly meal 5 of us had together dominos pizza
2 pizza
Tomyam nugget
Chicken wings
And Choco mud pie
Then feeling hungry and topping it off with cup noodles that way awesome!
Remembering my uncle saying ghosts stories in front of ah gong altar. Cause he 自己人 so 不怕 :D
I love my family ^^
10:12 AM
Since my blog is completely lacking of photos!! I've decided to upload some from my phone !!! Enjoy ^^
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my P R O F I L E
the initials are YL.
dear reader,
hello. how are you? my name is cyl aka jaslly a cranky female. im going to be 14 on 2703 of 2009, but for now, im currently living the number 14.
when i am officially 15, another year down till my peaceful death at 80. And , i love dance a lot.
although i am living in ward 14, i go to 2/5 of commonwealth room daily. this is the place where i usually get more hyper then usual. i really like the people there and learnt many things from them for my encaged life.
however much i dislike the adults there, i have to learn to like them . i also learn subjects like english maths chinese that i dread a lot.
no matter what, i will still miss the old 6a of cckps where there were psychologists, siewyi jane cheryl chingwei yanting minghui magdalene sinyi. all the fun happy naive times there are missed greatly by this mentally unstable person.
oh well, im still enjoying my life full of ups and downs .
:D
a strange person,
jaslly.
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being F O U R T E E N
14 random facts about me.
ONE basically this section is really random.
TWO i am seriously lack of sleep.
THREE majority of my life is being rotted away.
FOUR im not gonna be a saint and claim that i have no hates.
FIVE i hate people who hate me. seriously
SIX i dun tink there is anything else i hate.
SEVEN as usual, i like the people around me.
EIGHT when im angry/sad/afraid, my fingers turn cold.
NINE when im bored, i like to eat.
TEN but im not as fat as you think. =)
ELEVEN i am seriously bucking up for all my studies.
TWELVE i will score higher for all my subjects.
THIRTEEN this column is really random.
oh yea. last and least
FOURTEEN one fact you may not know ... im beginning to .. enjoy studying . =D
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2009 R E S O L U T I O N S
i shall try my best to enjoy the year.
will be updated at later date.
=D
2008 R E S O L U T I O N S
my weird wishes.
1. a never ending 2007
2. my last day in cckps a fun one
3. to get rid of mdm teo
4. have a enjoyable year being a newbie as a commonwealthian
5. to have a good teacher ms wong rocks
6. for everything to stay as good as it is
--there were ups and downs, but i am still happy!
7. STAY HAPPY AND LAUGH 4EVA!!!
--i might seems crazy if that happens . :D
8. be more hardworking successful?
9. save more $$ for new handphone
10. NOT get addicted to computer i am not ! =)
11. stop being stupid and do weel in exams
12. try to have sufficient amount of sleep this will be never
13. improve chinese?
14. cherish stuff as it is...
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chua chu kang pri school .
i miss it.
i guess this column will be here forever.
there is ISNT
a lesson in cckps FOREVER
not more friends
teachers
the one and only day i will go sch as pernormal.......
is only in my dreams.....
where everything was fun and exciting....
sometimes boring upset
but no more days other than that..........
On 22 nov 2007...
the last and final day of sch...
my presence in this school will cease to exist
those corridors i have grown accustomed to...
will all belong to someone else
i guess thats wad graduation means...
its the same as PARTING
all i got to say now
thank you for all the fun you've given me
thanks for your guidance and help
THANK YOU for your presence in my life
GOODBYE and we shall meet again in
the..F.U.T.U.R.E !!
6A is missed =)
thank you. :D
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thanks for the skin.
Icon: LJ/sixthmile
Layout: tuesdaynight
Inspiration: DayBefore!Misery
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