bah .

Hiiiiiiii!

CHERN.yehlin here
smile and be free :D

peeps online.!!

since 1st jan 2009

Monday, January 28, 2013 6:18 PM

I only have like 10minutes to post. So....

Today something happened. Okay something small happened. But I realised this concept of ........
Equality?

I'm not sure if you guys who read this will think I'm acting smart or immature or heartless. But I will just go on with my post k!

It's like through our own eyes now... We see everything around us.
We see other people.
But you can't see yourself ! Not your face at least.
It's like those computer games. Or halo shooting game.
You see that 'screen' through your eyes.
The same 'screen' day in day out.
When you're among a crowd this screen is multiplied by the number of people there. 'Screen' 'screen' 'screen'
Everyone sees their own 'screen' at their own position through their own eyes.
So when you're looking at other people through your 'screen'.. You're actually looking at a people who can't see themselves.
And as much as you have feelings.. The other party has capacity to have same amount of feelings towards your action to that person.
So don't do things . Never do things to others things that you don't even like happen to you.

I realised that in sec 1 and I thought it was damn cool LOL

And a lot of time these 'screen' comes along with feelings
Sometimes when you're looking through your own screen too much. You tend to forget other screens are there.
Everybody feels something.

And everyone.. Every screen.. Wants something.

So for example
A working adult works for money for his family.
A housewife cooks and clean everyday for the best of her family.

Almost everyone in life basically want one thing.
And when you focus on that one thing that they want.. You realise that you become more forgiving.

A naggy mother screaming at you to eat is cause through her 'screen' she love you so much and she wants the best for you but she feel so tired cause you don't want the best for yourself.
A father who comes home moody and scolds you randomly = an adult who works so hard for the family and is tired at home.
A burglar who steals food or even money = basically cause he doesn't have enough.
That same burglar has NO intention of ruining the stall.
A best friend quarrels and almost break up with you = internally he feels very hurt by what you did
An auntie pushes her way into the mrt with brute force = she wants to get things done.
People judge others = they were judged themselves
Some wants attention from people = they feel neglected
An annoying classmate talks a lot more and pull weird jokes = he wants to fit in.
A friend refuses to go out with you and wants to study = he really wants to study and rather choose his own form of enjoyment cause he's tired

Granted sometimes things might seem not good.. Inconsiderate. Annoying. Frustrating. Sound like excuses.
But I realised that when you focus on the main wants they people have.
Their true main goal.
You realise that you will become more forgiving of the mistakes they make.
No one person truly intentionally affect others. Unless you have done something to them.
Most or almost all of them really want to meet their main goal. And along the way things happen. But that was never truly their intention.

I don't know how much of this makes sense to you guys heh.
But I just realised this
Don't know if I'm early or late.
But I think I'm so caught up with myself lately.
I hope this makes things better !!

Below is a photo of me after ballet !!!!
Normal tee and tights with hair in bun. Three times a week heh.

Saturday, January 26, 2013 8:12 AM

Quick post!

When there is a problem or trouble ..
There's only 3 things that will happen next

1 blame everyone around you
2 blame yourself
3 focus on solving the problem ASAP

Of course there's a
4 choose to do nothing and watch

But mainly there's 3!

I won't gloss things over and say I don't play the blame game too!!
I do!
Just like everyone else.
But really .. The problem lies with how long do you intend to blame people.
How long you intend on making yourself unhappy or the other party unhappy.
It's so much easier to push the blame to people around you.
Sometimes you even gain some sort of gratification from persuading others to choose your side too.
Even when you blame yourself you think that it is an achievement by itself...
it's not.
but shouldnt we stop blaming things and focus on solving the problem itself.?

I'm sure so many of you out there will think of this as common knowledge.
But when trouble really comes ...
Will you do it ?

Seeing too many of this happening... Kinda... Frustrated.

Friday, January 25, 2013 7:21 PM

Dear lord give me time to cry. Cause I feel so crappy I don't even have the mood to. Probably can hear you telling me to just do what I can. Stop using phone and do my best.

And I don't even believe in Christianity .

K that's probably Lynn's words. I can hear her without talking to her for weeks .!! Haha thanks Lynn~

I just study and do what I can.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013 3:45 PM

My question to myself changes from "what do I do?"
To "what can I do?"

So many things left unsaid.
I just gotta study..

3:44 PM

When good things happen to you. You can't help but feel that you're blessed by god.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013 1:56 PM

When good things happen to you. You can't help but feel that you're blessed by god.

Sunday, January 20, 2013 8:47 PM

The sad thing about reality is that..
When you're behind time. Nobody's gonna wait for you.
Nobody gonna slow down.
Everyone is still gonna progress.

It doesn't matter if they say you're pretty.
It doesn't matter if you're cute.
It doesn't matter if you have a huge circle of friends.
It doesn't even matter if you have an army of best friends who are wiling to comfort you.
Cause no matter what you're still behind time.

Nobody gonna cut you some slack just cause you have more commitments than others.
Even when you have dance 3 times a Week
Ballet 3 times
Ogl
And your journey to home takes 2 hours everyday.
So what if it's a valid excuse?
You're still behind time.

I'm expected to grit my teeth under all this pressure.. And learn to cope with this.
It's gonna be until April.
And it's only second week of school.
I feel like dying alr.

Wanted to post a post about pride .. Ah well!!

Got a feeling I will cry any day soon.
Typed this post on my way to ballet... Now in waiting studio!!

Lucky people who have time to read this are probably more free than me !
Anyway thanks for all the encouragement !!!

Saturday, January 19, 2013 7:48 AM

Is it even possible to feel happy even under stress ?
I was so tired the past few days
Not like today and tomorrow will be any better.
Both Ballet and dance on each day.
4 sessions in 2 days.

Plus I really regret not doing holiday homework.
Really really regret
Now I have so much to do
So much to catch up

Yet.. I'm happy!!
friends around me in school.
Comforted me and encouraged me!!
They took their time out to text me am encouraging message.
Thank you guys !!

Plus my class is so damn lovely.
I will never forget my abs training during pe whereby Alvin yong Xiang Junhan made themselves look stupid LOL
They tucked in and pulled up their shorts
Really really really high while playing the game.
I seriously just laughed for 45mins non stop.
Will fall to the ground and laugh every 5mins
It was too stupid looking LOL

Then in Emily lim lesson yesterday.
The girls did smth very funny too!!

Plus I have one anklet for dance
One anklet for jinggy Lynn me !
And then I think they getting one more for Jaser LOL

Oh ya
Jaser is really going very very well!!!
It's like everyone is contributing quite a lot!!
Everyone got split up into groups to focus on smth !!
And then I think by Monday we can finalise flag. Walkin. Cheer.
And All very kind and nice to each other !!
No quarrels or anything too!!
Jaser must be peacemaker k!!!

So I'm totally surrounded by people I love.
Now is up to me to catch up with my studies !!!
I can do this!!

Tuesday, January 15, 2013 10:16 PM

Today we ate pizza together.
And wore anklet together.
Laughed so much together.
Act high. Drank.... Pepsi LOL
And it's all of us.

Even when the cockiness were dancing its like I can feel their care for us.
It's not like watching and judging.
It's worried when Bryan scold
Awww ^^

Pizza was fun too!!
And I'm so happy with the anklet !! I'm never gonna remove it !! Ever ever !!!

I like the guys dance a lot too!!
The head part.

And I really really really wish yew hui won't quit.
It's like he's a part of us alr.
Losing him is like losing an organ.
LOL or smth like that.
Plus he's dancing is so good :(
And he has such a good vibe.
And everything.
I really really wish he would give up floorball instead.

Oh yeah
Today first and last time in my life.
I will ever ever play with a single full chili padi.
It's like the seeds look so pretty and shoik and nice looking.
But
LOL I suffered.
After I rinsed off the seeds from my hands
The thingy was still on my hands
And boy when I rubbed under my nose.
It was BURNING
beyond any burn you can imagine.
It's like friggin fire LOL
Very very very hot.

And then after 2 hours I thought the remnants of the chili was gone.
Sub consciously rubbed my eyes
And boy it burned AGAIN

And then throughout the whole dance session my right hand felt hot
Very very hot.
I just randomly poured water over my hand during the break.
Temporary relief for a while...

Haha but it was still fun so maybe I don't regret.

So tired.
So much to do.
Tomorrow is another long day :(

But I'm happy !!!

Monday, January 14, 2013 11:39 PM

My class is getting closer
Og is getting closer
Dance is getting closer increasing practices
Ballet already have 3 times a week
Contemp at Oschool?
Studies will be getting crazier
And I don't have time for myself

Waaaaa
Making choices
I gonna have to start neglecting my friends :(
Which I really don't want to.
But I don't have much of a choice.
Hais

Wait till April ....

Bye !!! Study hard !!

Sunday, January 13, 2013 6:08 PM

5:52 AM

Last night I crashed.
Not as bad as my USA trip one LOL
That was giddy and couldn't move.
Not as bad as my sleepover one..
That was fell asleep while walking LOL

But I guess this time I felt more tired mentally as compared to any other day.
Dance isn't easy or is it stress free .
Plus I was really really sensitive to feels yesterday.
I think today I will just heck care.
Going Malaysia anyway HA!
And then there's work to be done.
But ballet and Malaysia today.
Wa seriously good luck to me.

Youre last person on earth I want to quarrel with :(
Still feeling upset by it.

It's 5.50am now and I think I'm talking rubbish .
Goodnight my friends!

5:47 AM

I have this sudden urge to receive a hug. Or have a call !! Talk on the phone !!
But can't !!!!
Goodnight !!

Friday, January 11, 2013 8:57 PM

Today we had open house and I walked around a lot with ver !! LOL even went out of school!!
The atmosphere really really reminded me of the first time I entered Nyjc as a sec 4 and I was like waaaa so many people !!
Waaa campus so nice..!!
Waaa everything so cool!!!
Saw the dance and everything ..!!!

Today the dance ..
First one was bad
But second one was so much better !!!!
And I don't have any regrets anymore :D
So really very very happy !!!!!

I hope we managed to attract many students to enter ny!!
Mr kwek told us 8000 people put ny in their choices last year!!
And 800 appeals..!!
So it was like waaaa
Feel so fortunate to be part of the family.
Seeing all the tweets about sayYestoNyjc is really really heart warming too!
It's like we all expressed our love for the school!!
And everyday I would read many many many tweets about it!
Like in my timeline 70% was sayYestoNyjc.
Then last night 80% !!!!!
Every 10 tweets .. 8 is about how we love ny !!

Up till today I'm still surprised at how many kind people there are in the school!!!
I hope next batch will be good too!!

Today I went around a lot with different people !!
First it was ver !!
Talked talked and watched Samuel raihan perform..
Samuel was so damn cool!!! LOL with the drums.

Then me seperated ! She went to find her class or og I think!
I went to find my dear class !!!!
Haha love all the encouragement from
Daisy
Val Ong
Val Khoo
Andris
Even the guys.. In their own ways . Their support.
Junwen
Junhan
David ? LOL
Guan Ru
Ken
Alvin

And I really really feel at home when I'm with my class !!!
It's like the moment I are anyone of them I feel happier !! Like my home !! Or my 18 eye candies !!!
The sad part is the girls are busy with their cca so I ended up being with the guys !!!
And then they said I was so afraid of being judged LOL
I mean 1 girl 5 guys~
Played balancing game with them
Junhan forehead tan LOL
And eye candy !!!

Talked to Joshua a bit too!! But today not a lot !!! Hmm!!

I enjoyed spending time with the gays too!!! All so crazy..!!!
George dropped his specs in a soup LOL

And and
When we hang out at the dance room together .. All did random dance
Like girls generation dances !!
I was so happy I refused to leave the room no matter what LOL
It reminded me of times in commonwealth when we girls will just take over the room and play the music to dance !!! Like mini version of girls generation LOL
All the crazy dances
And when we didnt know any steps we just sing or shout out loud and do lame steps !!
Still had so much fun!!

Took many many photos too!!
And completed yew hui card !!

Okay just looking at the school made me feel happy LOL

Oh yeah I mastered "miss me when I'm gone" the pitch perfect version alr!!! With the cups!!
I was so happy about it I did it another 10times LOL
Of course it's only a success if you ignore the singing tune HAHAHAHAHA
WHATEVER LOL

But but but
I'm rather worried about my work !
And my ankle !! Is getting worse !!
Cause danced
Wednesday. Afternoon dance !!
Night ballet
Thursday afternoon dance !!
Friday afternoon dance !!
Saturday dance in the morning
Ballet afternoon !!
Sunday ballet !!

One dance session is like 2.5 hours ..?
Ballet is 1.5 hours .. But it's a crazy crazy crazy session..
So so so so
I have no time to study !!
And my ankle is gonna DIE LOL
Like I'm ending up limping sometimes so that I won't put my full weight on my right leg!!

Hahaha good luck to me
I have no regrets to anything tho!!

It's like when I first entered ny.
I was truly very afraid of being ostracized.
Unwanted.
No friends. Alone.
It's like every teenager fears on the first day of school..

I would never predict that I will meet such great people like my class
The dancers
The gays
Ogls
And many random friends without category LOL
It's like every one person will have at least 2 cliques !!
And you will feel loved when you're alone !!

I love the teachers at ny.
I love mr kwek
I love my friends ..
And I really would be nothing without them.

^^

say YES to NYJC !!!!!!!!!

Thursday, January 10, 2013 1:09 AM

How can I stay awake for 2 hours despite dancing from 3-6 and 830-10..
Cause I'm happy about today ^^
Happy about og time.
Happy about dance time
I love the girls a lot !!

Ballet was okay.. Less torturous.
Goodnight my friends!!

Tuesday, January 8, 2013 11:38 PM

pardon my bad english and amateurish writing
sleepy and tired
copy and paste this from RSLE reflection
some is crap some i meant it
okay most i meant it
read if you guys want :D

Throughout the Regional Service Learning Experience I feel that class 1215 have bonded a lot. We have helped each other out during prep for the trip, stepped up when leadership positions were needed and gave support to our classmates throughout the trip. During the trip itself we have bonded by working together to make the orphans lives better and playing together when we have free time. Times like singing popular Taylor Swift songs in the bus or playing games only in the hotel lobby whereby the whole class can be together will not be forgotten. We have understood each other much better, be it understanding our kind intentions behind our words or our serious words when we feel that work needs to be done. This experience has bonded our class and gave us many unforgettable happy memories.

I feel very privileged to have clean amenities in Singapore. Yet at the same time, I am envious of how carefree their lives are. The younger kids’ creativity is not stifled by the education programme. These kids used bottle caps from our mineral bottles to make a ‘pool’ competition on the spot. This competition gave them a lot of happiness and entertainment. When I compare their situation to my own, I feel disappointed at myself for not being able to experience the same amount of joy they did with even with everything I want around me. The older kids would frequently embrace the younger kids and take care of them there. They would ask the children ‘what do they want’ and they will try their best to make the children happy. The care and concern from the older children aged 15 makes me feel like I ought to do more for my younger peers. We could also tell that the older kids were pacifying us when they joined in the activities we played. Games like musical chair, freeze dancing, duck duck goose were the games we played. Some decided to join in the fun while others sat by the side to watched. I felt that it was very kind of them to immerse themselves in the games that they have grown up from just to entertain us. Even with the language barrier, older children would do their best to assist us. The kindness, hospitality and understanding they portrayed at such a young age I something I truly admire.

Also, after observing the room we cleaned up, I realised the importance of a right leader. It was obvious that the orphanage received far more external help than needed. Walls were painted with fresh clean bright colours, murals were spotted in several rooms and countless amounts of useful studying materials lay untouched in a corner of the room providing a permanent home for lizards. We saw 4 computers fully equipped with wires, keyboard, monitor, CPU collecting dust at the side of their study room. These computers will never be used since they already struggle to even install a working light bulb in a room! Books were placed 1.5 metres from the ground and it was obvious that the little children could never reach that height. A book included was ‘eclipse’ from the twilight series which is deemed useless to them as the older children could barely understand conversational English. Heaps of stationary were found untouched for months.

I feel that under a better guidance and coordination, donors could be notified of the exact things these orphanage need. This would not only prevent a wastage of materials, it would ensure that sufficient aid to these needy children is given.

bye !!! study hard!!

8:21 PM

I'm afraid of seeming like a flirt but I feel that only in private conversations can people really talk freely and say out all their troubles.
Time for girl time !!

Monday, January 7, 2013 8:04 PM

I feel so sleepy today!!
Tho it was a good day in more than one ways.
I met everyone I wanted to meet.!
Haha k probably cause they're from ny.
But still!!!

My class was as adorable as ever
Love them to bits
Playing cards on first day of school LOL
Playing laughing
Telling ms raj the truth about mrs toh.
LOL and all laughing about how we played hide and seek with her..
Ahh all those days

I feel happy I still have one more year in ny!!

Said hi to all my dear friends !! Haha you guys know who you are !!!!!!
Missed everyone a lot...

But from this day forth I'm really gonna stop playing so much!
Recharged from holidays!!
Played enough!!
And no matter what I know I have my friends too!!

"This year is not about doing what you want. But doing what you have to do." -Ms Raj

Cherish everyday.
I wanna do well for As.

2:48 AM

I've become proud.
Obnoxious.
Uncaring.
Superficial.
Mean.
Unkind.
Attention seeking.

Okay maybe some of you guys havent sensed that about me yet..
But I'm sure some of you have!
This is really bad.
I don't like myself this way.
I've become too proud.
Too too proud.
I have to cherish people more. Be more compassionate.

School is starting tomorrow !!
And to be honest I am VERY excited to see 1215.
Cause they remind me of who I really am.
Or they let me be who I really am.
And they know my personality quite well.
Unglam. Blur. Stupid. Laugh.

I find that I'm not fake when I'm with them.
I am myself.
But when I'm around others I'm so obsessed about what others think of me.
Maybe that's normal. To be so insecure. Or to think highly of oneself.

Maybe it's cause the first time in 3 years I am away from HIM.
So it's like I feel different.
Normally I would draw a line between me and guys. A very clear line.
Somewhat clear :D
But now idk where the line should be drawn.
Less distance I guess.?
It's like everytime I do smth wrong at the back of my mind I would be like.. Aiyah he's there for me !
But now when i do smth wrong .. There's no backup!
Of course I have my family and fake family ..
But still it's different !!

Anyway
As a punishment to wake myself up
I shall announce four of my genuine weaknesses and one strength of mine.

Weakness one :
I am a bit proud.
I really hate being that. I really want to change it. But I don't know how to.!

Weakness two :
I have selective memory.
This was the very reason why I had so much problems with the break up.
It's cause I kept selecting the bad memories.
Then the relationship stopped.
I kept seeing the happy memories
Both of which made me feel very very bad.
Sometimes I quarrel with my parents over my bad memory too!!

Weakness three :
I am very bad at outdoor activities.
It doesn't sound very bad. But this weakness annoys me to hell.
It's like I lose my confidence before I start an out door thingy alr.
Ball games. Climbing a mountain. Hill. Swimming. Cycling. Name it and I suck at it.

Weakness four :
I look ugly with my specs
When I don't try to look good
I look like crap at home.
This is the very reason why I feel that I'm not pretty.

Strength one and only one :
For my close friends I'm willing to do almost anything or everything whenever they need my help.
It's like a call for help..
I will put down everything I have.
Forget everything I'm thinking of.
And focus

Haha that's it guys !!

I really miss David in 1215 :(

Goodnight !!!
Looking forward to school !!

1:13 AM

1:06 AM

From this day forth.
I will friendzone every guy I meet.

Sunday, January 6, 2013 1:14 PM

When I see you. I shutup. LOL I don't dare to talk. It's like a button.

12:55 AM

Okay I'm not angry or upset
I just don't understand
How so many guys can move on from their past girlfriend so easily !!
It's like today I heard of one more case
Which means there are 4 authentic cases of guys who forget about their ex whom they have dated for months to years..
And date someone else within a month.

I MEAN I DONT UNDERSTAND !!!
How can a person forget someone they have loved so much !!!
And go chase other girls alr !
I'm not even like mad or anything
I just don't get it ..
And the girls are always the one being played.
Why are so many guys like that?
How can they chase a girl. Make her fall for him.. Date for years.. And dump her for whatever reason.. And chase another girl the next month!
I have Four cases of girls going through that now at this very second

How can guys move on so easily ?
So much faster than girls ?
Like all the memories they created were totally forgotten !!

I really truly don't understand.

12:48 AM

I wish I can talk about my eye candy but I can't !!!!!!!!
Hahahahahahaha

Saturday, January 5, 2013 10:18 AM

Yesterday and the day before we had ogl workshop.
Haha day 1 was horrible cause we all didnt really know each other. There was something that made me mad. And boy it was tiring. All like wanna die

Day 2 was soo much better. Playing in school all the games. Cheers. Ideas everything.
LOL the ideas for all the walk in.
Video.
Were just flowing like crazy
Every second there was some one different interjecting trying to give ideas
And then in whatsapp they were like
That's the happiest moment of today.
Haha awwwwwwwwwww

Tho I had to admit
There were a few awkward moments between me and certain people.
Haha but that's all part of making new friends eh ? :D

I really like everyone there more !!!
Haha more reasons than one.

My sis always scold me for being naive about this.
I told her that I believed truly believed that all Nyjcians are kind.
She was like NOOO the world is not that nice LOL
But I seriously think so leh!
If not ALL it would be like 95%.
Most of their opinions are like very kind.
Nice thoughts. Considerate thoughts to others!
No mean thoughts !!!
Even when they are judging people (everyone judges k :D)
It's like they won't write off people badly !

Haha and and I think Jaser embodies that.
Of course I know my dear 1215 so much better and even tho they are very gossipy.. They are all very very nice people.
And even dance also nice.
And occasional friends random friends also nice.
Gay okay is really nice la hahaha
I should use a chimmer adjective LOL

I realised that I really really miss my class.
LOL and I might hate to admit this in front of the guys.
But I think that they are really gentlemanly.
Of course I praised the girls a million and one times alr. So I will just say I've never loved 6 girls so much altogether.
It's like when I saw them in the canteen.. It's like homeeeeee.
Or like happy.
Or like reminiscence.

Anyway omg I diverted so much .

I REALLY LIKE DANCING WITH NICHOLAS LOL I SWEAR
it's like the most fun thing ever.
We laugh A LOT
Probably cause our brainwave is so similar. Childish . Blur. And want to play.
It's like in the middle of the dance he will step on me LOL like PLAAAK.
And I laugh very badly.
And then there was this time both of us went backwards and we bang onto each other. We both just looked at each other "which side ar? LOL"
Since 70% of the time both of us are copying so sometimes we will copy wrong.
There is a part in the chorus the guy is supposed to hold the girl's hand and spin the girl..
Once he held out his hand and waited for someone to spin him as a girl

LOL that .... I laughed like crap
We agreed to skip too!! LOL
At the end of chorus.
And the couple dance part both of us will be like omgomgomg. Haha both scared of screwing up.
Once we seriously screwed up until very very lost. Both of us just laughed LOL
I kind of like it when we let go we kind whack each other hand very hard.
It's like I know he's using force and I'm using force.
Then I will death stare him he death stare me before we laugh.

Haha I really really like dancing without pressure.
In dance rooms.. It's like the pressure to perform is crazy leh...
Of course a bit of laughter..
But you know the instructor will just stare at you waiting for you to meet his high expectations..
And when you don't .. His/her face will show so much disappointment in you.

Anyway I'm really glad that Nic is my partner LOL
Totally no awkwardness.

I've become very close to yu Kei and jie Yi too!!
Like all same brainwave!

But I've got to admit I was very very impressed with syron spirit.

And many guys spirit.
You can really see the veins at their neck when they shout. Threatening to burst..
Can see it like 5 meters away.

But but at the end of the day...
After I talk to ver
Okay everytime I talk to ver it will be like our old days and I'm transported back to the past.
Like another typical day in the train.
It's the same feeling as going for an overseas trip and coming back home.. Wondering if you ever left.
The whole day suddenly felt like a dream.
Haha and I discovered I really miss talking to her too!!! It's like she gets everything that I'm saying. And I never have to hide anything on earth when I'm with her.

Oh ya
I have made a promise to myself that..
I will be .. OPAQUE.
Meaning if I hear of any secret.. Or I have any secrets.. I won't even show that I know of anything.
Not even a subtle hint.
Just fake it LOL
Totally opaque.
Haha so I'm hiding many things inside..
Waiting to exploooode!!!
But noo cannot must contain.

And and one last thing
It's like I think that compared to one month ago.
I'm really different .
No longer the girl who thinks about that bastard.
Really really changed.
Like I don't even think about him at all.
Maybe cause he left me bleeding so heartlessly.
I'm thinking this is partially due to my own pride protecting me.
I won't let someone like him hurt me for so long.
And maybe it's cause I've discovered that their are nicer better guys out there .!

Soo I'm really happy
And ready to face As with total focus.
That is if I touch my holiday work LOL

Bye !!!

12:36 AM

Really tired ! Maybe I will update tomorrow !
Really really enjoyed today tho
Multiple reasons :D

Thursday, January 3, 2013 7:31 PM

So many emotions and perspectives. Everything is kinda messy.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013 10:55 AM

Okay it's rare that I spam my blog but it's ether this. Studying. Running man. Outing. Eating.

Okay I'm going out later
For an INJECTION
KILL ME PLS
And then outing
I PRAY THEY WON'T SLAP MY HAND
or I will really get.. Irritated.

Anyway I rubbed my eyes like I do every morning
And it turned out bad
I'm tearing like crazy uh oh

Warning if you're afraid of eyes
Please don't scroll

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I hope I heal :( this is scary
I think I've earned myself a cut in my eye
Repercussions from getting stronger.
LOL

10:32 AM

So I've deleted my previous post cause it seemed inappropriate.
I am here to do some naval gazing.

1. According to my friends, I have lost weight.
According to the weighing scale, I have gained weight.
So after arguing for really long... I have decided to accept the verdict from the weighing scale. Only with the condition that my fats have upgraded to muscles.
That helps me gain greater self satisfaction.

2. I need to behave more maturely.
Nobody but myself know exactly HOW MANY CASES I refer to.
It's saddening to comprehend how many instances I have behaved unacceptably.
I do understand... But it's just whether I want to or not.

3... I wish nyjc is a girls school. Then I can be close to anybody and everybody.

Bye!!!

Tuesday, January 1, 2013 11:19 AM

I realised the best kind of love is loving the other party first.
Then finding out the other party loves you back.
There has got to be something that attracted the person first.
If not ... The relationship will be like..
Bland.
The girl only accepts the guy cause she's used to having someone there. Fill the gaps.
Used to having someone treat her as number 1
Used to having a studymate around.
But that's like even lower than best friends
There's no .. Similar mentality.
Telepathy.
And what's not..
That's what I realised this year
You aint lucky cause you aren't in love with your best friend.

I am still thankful and blessed :)
That I am able to share similar mentality with some of my best friends
Some of them...........
I don't know if I should name !
I'm afraid I hurt some feelings when I say this!!!

Firstly
It's Lynn
Okay the number of times her dear name has appeared on my blog
It's kinda self explanatory.
I realised that me and her kinda have a ... Relationship friendship LOL
Not in the lesbianic way.
It's like we are very very used to each other presence. Don't speak much nowadays.
But I know she's always always there like she know I'm always always there.
And one day if she leaves.. I might cry worse than my ex!

Secondly. It's Ver or Jon but since Lynn and Jon names come together I shall write Jon

Jon
Aka Jonny aka Jonathan
Haha the interesting part about me and Jon is that we really were best friends cum brothers FROM THE START LOL
I knew him cause I sat beside him in sec1 class.
And he knew ALL my troubles then
Omg I'm starting to wonder if there EVER been a moment he hasn't tried to help me.
Everytime I was down he will try to cheer me up.. NOT in the overbearing way.
NOT The normal way.
His statements and questions were always a nudge that helped me move forward.!
I'm actually asking myself if there has been a breakup that I have experienced and he wasn't there.
And ... I think there really isn't .
Which is really shocking in a way

Haha strangers who don't know me and Jon might suspect if I have feelings for him.
NO WAY LOL.
It's like we were real blood siblings born from different parents.
I suspect we were from same family in the past!!!
Haha he's truly a BROTHER to me.
And !! I like his parents LOL RICKY !!!

Lynn and Jon always used their experience to help others. I picked off their good habit from them. Advices always always spot on!
Like hit the Bulls Eye !!!
Even when the target is moving !!!
LOL
And I secretly think that they are very very deserving for each other and they can't find anyone else better than each other.
But no one can go against God's wishes eh?

Okay I'm getting sian so everything will be shorter LOL

Ver
This year must have been pinnacle of our friendship!!!!
The tip of the ice block!
Thanks for everything dar dar :D
And when I look at you and you look at me and something will float in between our minds.
Like .. Telepathy!!
Haha thank you for not judging me no matter what shit I tell you!
It's like we know each other very well hahaha
Even when you're not saying normal stuffs to cheer me up I know you are
And darling I'm here for you too!!!
Haha I think I know what to do when you're down. And I know what to say to cheer you up :P kinda!!

Jinggy
Haha I love you and you love me and I'm very lazy to type.
I think we really bonded more this year when we told each other our problems !!!!
My first friend in CWSS is forever shall be !!!!
We are similar in so many ways !!
Thank you for believing in me :D

Val khoo
Sometimes I feel that me and Val Khoo has telepathy !!
Even tho we only met so short while!!
It's like when we confide in each other we can totally understand !!
And she's very very kind !!!
Good natured and everything !

I would type a lot more names that I can feel exceptionally close with but im lazy.
They include
Xavvy. Samantha. George. Okay basically everyone in gay okay cause they are all really mature deep inside. Except Ranice :P

Xav please talk more!!
Sam please study!!
George we don't talk much.. At all! But I know you will be a great person to talk to.

Person 1 please don't spend so much effort on everyone around you and focus on yourself k :D

Person 2 haha thanks for everything !!! Even tho you're always look down at yourself for idk what stupid reason.
But you should know that
You choose exactly what you want to make yourself be.
If you want to be fit. Train more.
Wanna be smart. Study hard.
Don't let laziness get in the way.

Person 3
I want to type everything here!
But it will come off different ! >(
I would put you above tho
:D

And and I'm not pretty !
LOL especially if you meet me at home like how Ver Lynn Radiance did.

I have gained the housework of watering plants !!! Haha everyday of my life !!!

Good morning babes!!