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since 1st jan 2009

Thursday, March 28, 2013 2:54 AM

More will be uploaded here when it's uploaded there!!!

2:53 AM

I was wondering why my sis present mean so much to me and I've come to a conclusion !!!
Its Cause I'm truly myself when I'm at home.
Like you know when you're with your friends you want your friends to have a good opinion of you. So sometimes even when you don't feel good... You fake that you do.
But when I'm at home I'm just.. Whoever and show whatever emotions I like to show !!! Like happy sad excited annoyed hahaha
I don't bother hiding or faking things !!

And like last time me and my sis quarrel a lot a lot
Only when I was in sec 3 or so then it decreased !!!
Last time the sight of her irks me.
And we fight quarrel aiyah everything siblings do LOL
But nowadays we really understand each other and help each other and she knows what I'm thinking like it's magic seriously. Plus the fact that I don't confide in her for my innermost feelings. I'm surprised she can read me so damn well.

And then I wonder too why Lynn always make it sound like she's the lucky one to know me.
When I'm the lucky one to know her.
Hahaha I don't get it.
She's one of the kindest person I've known.
Of course Andris and yungwui are in tops too. It's like THERE'S NO NEGATIVITY TO PEOPLE AT ALL.
I don't know how they can do that!!!!!!!
Like always always always consider other feelings and dont blame people for anything.
So for someone like her to continuously emphasize that she feels blessed to know me .???? Hahaha that's like a praise by itself.

I still have dance tomorrow !!!
Good night !!!!
And thanks again to all that wished me.!!!

12:18 AM

I cried when I saw the video.
Not teared. Cried LOL
Bawl???

You know how I always tell myself that one person should be happy as long as we know that if we disappear.. There is one person whose life you have touched and that person will remember you and miss you!!!!

Ver and George compiled a video of all my closest friends !!!
It's on my Facebook you can go see !!!
I think I've seen the video like 10times ..!!! Or maybe even more !!

It's like all my closer friends ..

Okok to be honest I'm really drained now LOL
Sleepy and tired
Laughed too much today.!! Super drained !!!!!
I wanna post a long and sweet post but as usual I will let my thoughts float and type whatever comes to mind.

Today the climax had to be..
Haha 2 especially !!!
First was viewing the video!!
Like so many people wishing me .
Jaser ogls
My ogms
My class
The Gays
Dancers
Ms raj
And Lynn !!!!
Haha I could replay Lynn part like 20 times and feel so happy hearing her voice
OMG I sound like a lesbo
It's a pity Jon xav didn't do it hahaha
Kick you all la

But I wanna thank ver !!!
I know it must have not been easy to contact all of them...!
<3 <3
Plus she even follow the like who I like a lot !!!!!!
Haha aww muacks

George make video really good too..!!
Today I surprisingly received a birthday hug from him hahaha
Love ya George ..!! I know you love me too!!!! Both in love a lot a lot a lot hahaha

Yunhsiu part in the video was damn funny LOL even my parents laughed .!
And recently I shall praise him
I think you look more good looking!!!
:D
And I truly haven't thanked you enough for your secret valentine day exchange card!!!!!!!!

Samuel was so gay please hahaha in the video .!!! But so funny and nice too..!!!! LOL my dad raised his eyebrows tho when he saw Sam touching himself !

Darrin beauty and beat idea was damn cool
Okay the whole video was damn cool..!!!!

Ver Sam Queeny Kaien Ranice Liying was just very sweet!!!!! :) :)
Eleanor was .. LOL very daring hahaha
And prettier :)

Yungwui is just damn sweet
I love her a lot too!!!!
We always depend on each other during dance practices! Self prac hahaha
She's super super nice and kind and teach me how to control my temper !! Which is something I love her for !

Samantha .. Hahaha
I love you too!!!!
Ok we both love each other !!!

I was very happy to see Val cool face and tell me all the things !!!!!!!
Haha I miss spending time with you too!!!
And ken my dear fake boyfriend.
My mentality is similar to yours to such a great extent . Most of the times you say so much things that I think of but don't dare say. And youre secretly kindhearted !

So happy to see ms raj .!!!
I told her my problems when I was very busy and when my ah gong went to heaven!!!
Then she comforted me . So I really love her a lot !!!!

Seeing my Jaser ogls and ogms kids really really brought back so many happy memories ...
And I really didnt expect them to appear and wish me happy birthday and tell me all the sweet things ..!!!!!!!

Okay I actually didnt expect ANYTHING for my birthday.
Probably a visit from ver and the gay.
Sing birthday song. Then lepak and that's it.

Not a video!!!!
And then a visit from Joshua Eugene and Valerie tan !!!!!
Its like they travel so far!!!!!! Especially for Joshua and Eugene ! K Eugene furthest!!
And they gave me presents!
Plus Joshua lied to me ..!! He was like I'm at home then he called me to open the door !!

Received so many sweet messages too!!!! Just kept taking screen shots to keep it hahaha
There were great ones from Samantha. Jonathan and Joshua ..!!!

And Nicholas foo my Ogl partner
Omg he was so damn nice beyond words
First he gave me Starbucks card.
Then he gave me a written card.
Then he wished me happy birthday through SMS
Through Jaser1 chat
Through Jaser Ogl chat
Then he sent a song singing happy birthday with his choir friends .. !!!!

And it's like sometimes I do get frustrated. But I do feel blessed to have him as my Ogl partner !!!!
Now I need to do so much for him in return for his birthday!!!

The gays came to my house !! 10 of time !!!
Originally ver came . Then I was expecting them behind.
BUT SHE JUST CLOSED THE GATE LIKE THAT
Hahaha I was like WHUT.
Then we talked talked talked
Then I started to sink in the realization that they weren't coming .
I can't help but admit I was disappointed .
But I was like okay.! Cause it's very far for them !!!!
Then can spend time with ver too!!
But suddenly ...
SHE OPENED THE DOOR AT THE SPEED OF LIGHT hahaha
Then I went to change !
And taadaa they appeared !!!!
Sing the song at my doorway!! Entered in my house
AND DROPPED CAKE IN MY HOUSE

AND THEN I DROPPED IT MYSELF LOL

We were all complaining hot !!!!
And they really wanted to buy alcohol.
THEY'RE WEIRD LOL
So we bought and we drink!!
One was like quite palatable.
Another one was like crap
I don't even know what dead cockroach carcass smells like.. But hell it smells like that.

So went down to buy and then went to my room and drink!! But the percentage was super low so it's okay!!!

We were wondering what to do !!
Until... I pulled out my accessories drawer and TAADAAA LOL THE GIRLS WENT TO HYPER DRESSING THE GUYS UP
LOL it was damn fun haha
The guys didnt mind too!! I think cause my birthday so they decide to play along ..!!!!! But it was damn fun took many many photos and all very very happy !!!!
Haha tempted to post the photos here but I scared they mind !

Then .........
I felt more gay and ...
TOOK OUT MY DRESS LOL
Forced it on top of them

And for the dress I could tell..
THEY DIDNT WANT TO LOL
I mean there's a difference with having many many accessories compared to WEARING A DRESS.
But Darrin was damn nice
The girls were coaxing him to wear then he asked me "Yehlin you want me to wear ah.?"
Then I was like "I WAANT !!"
LOL then he really wear!!!!!!!!
Hahaha but only for like 15seconds I didn't wanna humiliate him so much!!!

Then it was Xukai and Yunhsiu turn ..
All of them didnt want to.. But when I really asked then they just gave in!!!!
Which made me feel so.. Powerful! LOL
Or loved or appreciated !!
It's like they go to that extent not to let me down.. Even though they didnt want to do it ..
Xukai could have sworn he heard a PIAK when he wore my dress hahaha
Plus I purposely picked those girly girly ones for them!!!

Hahaha trust me I laughed
A lot
A lot
A lot
A lot lot lot lot
Until I felt drained ..!!!

After that we played Indian poker and I lost and I had to drink that Cockroach smelling alcohol eash hahaha
But I guess it's an experience LOL

Then me and ver eat together pepper lunch and eat deserts and I told her everything that crossed my mind lately !!!!!
Hahaha

But I felt drained so we left early and now I'm typing this !!!!!!

I think the reason why I was so happy cause I really didnt expect anyone to know my birthday!!!!
But so many messages before after and wishes... Well wishes..
I thought it would be a hush hush secret! Cause I didn't tell people who I thought didnt know my birthday was coming !
I dk if I make sense !!!

Thanks ver for everything !!! I love you!!!!!

I feel very happy cause I feel like I haven't lived in vain.!!
And I promise to spend more time with the gays !!!!!! They are very kind people ..!!!

Thanks for anyone who wished me too!!!!!! Love you guys.
I love my friends heh. They mean a lot to me !!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013 2:43 AM

I felt so happy I almost cried of happiness a few times.
Jumped around a few more.
Screamed and made weird noises.
I'm happy they bothered...

Cause I don't expect anything really.
Okay maybe from the Gay okay cause they celebrate every birthday.!
But when I was convinced they won't celebrate I was a bit disappointed but it's understandable cause it's block test!!!!
And I was like its okay la hahahaha
Not even in the self comforting way.

I've seen too many people's birthday passed and gone. So I thought mine wouldn't be celebrated ..

:) :) very very touched.
I feel like posting the long messages I received here !!! Haha but I won't ..
Anyway I'm very thankful... !!!!

Saturday, March 23, 2013 9:16 PM

Shall be a short post

For years my birthday have always been something big.
Sec2 cause of my ex
Sec3/4 cause of Jon jinggy xav Lynn
J1 cause of ver
Ver one was really big hahaha
For sec 4 we had like a BBQ invited people and stuffs

But I remember on my real birthday when I was sec4 I cried.
Cause I was stupid haha
And then I called Lynn
And she told me something
"The size of birthday celebrations don't matter. What's most important is that you know people whom you love.. Love you back. And they are happy that you were born and your existence on that day"

That's why I love that girl hahaha

I'm announcing that it's my birthday not cause I'm asking for a celebration.
Haha I'm pretty sure the people who are reading my blog is already aware that my birthday is coming even before I post.

But I'm really looking forward to it cause I don't need to study ^^
It's the immediate day after my last paper !!!!
Haha I'm well aware that three quarter of the school still has paper on my birthday heh.

If my class ain't going out for like lunch after their paper.
Or if Lynn or ver or any bffs never ask me out.
I'm more than contented to SLEEP A WHOLE DAY at home heh
Haven't had enough sleep for really long.
Wake up. Watch running man. Eat cereal prawn.. And go back to sleep LOL

So that's why I'm really excited for my birthday.
Tho it's weird for once that I have no plans.
But I know people whom I love love me back too!!!!
Haha and they are happy for my existence.
So I really don't care.
I just want to stop ... STUDYING OR DANCING OR WORKING ON SOMETHING

Hahaha #truestory k!

Monday, March 18, 2013 8:06 PM

One of the reasons why I worked hard last year is cause my mama works very hard everywhere.
Everytime she reaches home from work
She will
Cook
Hang clothes
Fold clothes
Wash clothes
Steam food
Water plant
Pray
And she also vacuum mop
Wash Toilet

And she never ever ask me or my sis to help her even tho we keep relaxing

The reason why she never ask us is cause...
She don't want us to feel tired
She want us to spend our time resting and studying hard

Which simply motivates me a lot :)

And I'm getting this motivation back again.
After being preoccupied with dance for so long

Tomorrow my last ballet class
Thursday is my exam!

And I cut my hair :D
From the longer to shorter

Don't procrastinate.
Cause nothing will happen and we won't move forward.

Sunday, March 17, 2013 2:22 PM

I am ... Happy !!!!
Okay I'm getting sick of complaining how tired I am !!!
So so so
Im gonna post 5 photos !!
One is of fooood!!!

And on sat night I went to edit my clothes !!!!
It's super cool!!!
Hehehehe
Posting from mobile so I can't put any captions !!
See the photos !

Haha one is make less baggy.
Another one make less plain

Have a good holiday!!!!! :)

Sunday, March 10, 2013 9:15 AM

This was supposed to be posted many many weeks ago!

I only talked to 8 seniors
3 Ogl Gerald sheena Junqi
2 random friends jinx Lewis
2 commonwealthian Shan Yi Valerie
1 dance Geolin

And.....
Gerald
Sheena
Jinx
Shan Yi
Valerie
Got called on the stage

I can remember the exact moment they got called
Their expression
How they walked
Their hair and behavior
It's like so many of them got
And I just really really aspire to be as smart as them.
I really want to study hard.

I remember mine and Valerie hair standing for our seniors when their name got called.
It's like ..... The whole feeling
Every name is someone's hard work .!

And and I got D for Chinese !!!
It's quite a relief honestly .. With my Chinese standard .
So I do feel quite happy :)
Happy for those who did well too !!!

I've been busy lately
Not doing particularly well in tutorials or lectures
I don't even have weekends to catch up.
Feeling quite frustrated
8 more days
3 more weeks
I really really want to do well ....

but bonded a lot with dancers ^^

BYEE!!

9:13 AM

free food from sc on friday night !! :)

NYSD before performance and costume

Forzaaa !!!

after the performance !

on stage photo :D

went back to school to carry the $500 worth burden !!

girls of NYSD ^^

our men in our girls

whole team !

FIERCE !

finally removing makeup and changing !

rose from andris!doughnut from yukei and toberone from keely !!

thank you !!

hehehehehe

this is how fierce we all were trained to look LOL

then back to normal me. HELL YEAH!

walked around Nex with remnants of eye shadow and eye eyeliner at my lower eyelid. made me look like those emo rocker kia hahhaha

after receiving results! shihui cried and cried and cried LOL

dinner to celebrate !!!!

it was awesome :)

thank you !

9:07 AM

I don't know where to start so I will let my immediate thoughts all be written.

On our last practice with Bryan (our dance instructor) he basically told us...
With this standard .. Y'all won't get in.
Enjoy your last performance together.

Not that I blame him!
Our last performance to him in school was horrid LOL
We made mistakes !!!!!
Obvious mistakes !
And everytime we practiced we made more mistakes. Either that or our accent and strength dropped
And we had like this fatal flaw..
Our energy level for the last part is so much lower than the first. More messy too.
Not that you can blame us really LOL
We spent 2 months cleaning up the first 45seconds.. 2 weeks learning the last 1minute and 30seconds
So we all hope that this one month we can clean up more..!

But I agree ..! Our efforts should be more on block test!!
We all stayed up stayed up slept in class cause we were either sewing. Or practicing ! And each practice was soo long..
2 reasons really
1. A lot to clean up
2. We were all tired from sleepless nights so our pace of actions were slower and minds were less sharp.

It's still funny that for one week all of us slept in class LOL
Okay I practically slept for every tutorial and lecture I had
Whoops
Behind in econs chemistry
Lucky lucky physics and maths I'm still.... Coping !
Probably cause it's more of concepts and applying similar things !

And my class wondered why I kept eating
LOL DUDES IF I DONT EAT I SLEEP

Slept blatantly in econs
LOL that's the worst
I would just lie on the table for 20minutes and sleep.
For 2 tutorials alr
Hehehehehehe
But I will try to learn when I'm awake lor!!

Anyway NYSD is a society where we friendzone each other LOL
One girl thinks that she's super super sexy
One girl keeps keeps burping
One girl is intellectually more stupid LOL
One girl is kinda really loud
One guy is TOTAL BURDEN LOL

We haven't named anymore
But soon k hahaha
I still want NYSD to be closer !!!! heheheheh closer closer closer !!!

Okay I forgot to talk about my experience at danceworks

So during the rehearsal .. Eunike didn't do well. She was center front but forgot her steps.. I dont blame or dislike her for it..
But it made me very very scared!!!
And then they say the energy wasn't there and stuffs .

But we overheard this dude saying "wa jc students can dance so well meh?"
LOL
And another dude random performer said "I like your item"
Which are kinda like the real sort of praises.
Not from friends who are obliged to gloss over our mistakes.

Even so .. On Wednesday I felt very very discouraged. But me and yungwui and the girls talked
And we decided that we WANT TO WIN
Or at least not win la LOL
We want to get through.
So we totally put Bryan comments to the back of our head.
Even if we thought of it .. It spurred us to prove him wrong.
For Thursday we practiced until really late!! The SS stayed even later for their book! Then on Friday we had a perfect run.
Not entirely perfect tho.
But no one made mistakes !!! From some sort of distance la hahaha
Of course when you know the exact steps you can tell the exact mistake.
But It was definitely less obvious!

So we ended early
And went home !!!

Right before our main performance at bugis
We were backstage
And kept repeating
"LEAVE NO REGRETS"
"Go through your steps and concentrate"
"Accent"
"Strength"
"Projection"
"Concentrate focused"
"FIERCE"

And somehow we weren't that nervous.
It's like the want to beat people up feeling.
We wanted to own the stage.

During the judges comments..
We received A LOT of criticism.
It's crazy
From the drug theme.
To our clothes.
To our bare feet.
To a smile.
To a drama-ness
To our energy level and a wrong message we were putting across.

It was ... Bad
But I didn't disagree with them... !
It's like "the truth hurts"

After the performance we went to eat.
Couldn't even stay to watch the other teams perform cause we felt demoralized.
Of course some of us cried.
For me I just felt lousier and lousier when I saw the other groups receiving more and more praises.

many of the other competitors were poly students.
and even from their presence.. you can TELL that they have been training hip hop for years.
very very good too .
our group was the youngest.
cause catergory 3 was the hardest. 19 groups competed.
for under 25 years old !!
BRYAN WHY PUT US IN THE HARDEST CATEGORY WITH ONLY ONE YEAR OF STREET EXPERIENCE LOL
plus its a fact that Malays are generally better dancers/singers than chinese.
there were A LOT of malays there. in their strong united group. (not being racist or anyth)
so you can kinda tell our feelings then.

when 5 teams were announced to enter the finals and one last team was left.
We all kinda gave up to fate
Nobody really talked much when they have back the results
Except for "duman high confirm get in"
Cause their performance was really really good!!!!

Even now
All of us are in a state of shock
We can't believe it at all!!!!

When our names were called we just occupied a small corner at the end of the stage
And cried
And cried
And cried
And cried

The SS got best props award too!!!

After that I wondered randomly....
Since we invited the whole school to join us.. And if both teams didnt get acknowledgement ...
That would just be ... Painful
Very very painful!
So I really really wouldn't know what to do then.

Did billy bunja with NYSD and Bryan in iluma LOL

Dinner was really really nice too ^^

Super long post eh

Now all of us are wondering block test how.
Must really get serious and balance both.
But we confirm will have less practices now !! :) :)

For myself...
I feel like
I really grown as a leader.
Have to see everything or anything.
Our mass messages were ....... Very long LOL
Decided to copy paste some here
Sneak peek!
remember these are through SMS LOL

"Read through
15 MORE DAYS TO PERFORMANCE
We are gonna have practice on Tuesday and Thursday. 445-700
Thursday there's maths test so we at least can study on Wednesday k :)
We trying to get mpr to share with judo if possible.!
If cant then have to use LT or atrium !
I need all of us to PRACTICE AT HOME AND FAMILIARIZE YOURSELVES WITH THE NEW STEPS.
So that on Tuesday and Thursday we can spend the time PERFECTING the steps rather than TEACHING the steps again.
So please tonight and Monday night spend 20mins each at least going through the COUNTS and STEPS
this is a team and we can't leave anyone behind. So I really hope we all will individually work hard together so that our team can progress TOGETHER and do well for the performance in 2 weeks time.
I understand that we all need to study too but it's just two more weeks k :) :) lets give it our ALL.
As for those who haven't run 2.4 or need to run cause late
Me and Yung Wui decided that it's better to do BLACK AND GOLD
So the number of round X2 = the minutes of black and gold
If you have 10 minutes then replay the song until it reaches 10 minutes k :)
Please work hard to train our arms and text me when you cleared the minutes you need.
Lets work hard together !!! :) :) practice at home!"

And .... Panicking about costume too!!
"Okay Forzaaaa !!
Just an update ! Read through!
Stockings Joanne will buy tomorrow.
Pants still not settled >< PLEASE HELP!
Monday me yungwui will go after school to buy the cloth and halter.
Cause cloth shop not open !
Tuesday morning we will all meet EARLY to sew the halter top and our new black band. eunike will sew everyone else long band so we must help her sew her halter and neck band k?
Cd yungwui and jiawen will coordinate
Board Samantha shihui do. Announcement me yungwui do.
Bryan is coming on TUESDAY and WEDNESDAY
(Timing not sure..)
Since Monday me and yungwui can't conduct training.. EVERYONE PLEASE PLEASE PRACTICE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Spend AT LEAST ONE HOUR ON MONDAY AND SUNDAY PLS!!!
Reply to acknowledge."

And our last last final message to everyone LOL
"Hi guys :) your last mass message from me so its extra extra long !!!

Everyone please CHECK NOW that you have brought:

1) halter top
2) harem pants
3)stockings
4) elastic band
5) a shirt to wear over
6) wear shoes that are easy to slip in and out! Don't wear socks if you don't want! Less troublesome.
7) foundation
8) concealer
9) crayon black eyeliner
10) mascara, colourless lip gloss, brush
11) cotton bud or cotton stuffs (in case mistake)
12) hair spray
13) tight tight dark coloured rubber bands
14) comb to back comb
(Makeup remover we brought enough for everyone)

Everyone report school by 7.30am!!! Please don't be late!
Tonight everyone sleep latest 10.45pm :)
We need our rest!

Schedule tomorrow is as follow :

730am students assemble in atrium
800am bus arrives
830am arrive at bugis +
900am registration by team leaders
930am stage rehearsals (5mins per team)
1000am brunch and makeup
1130am Rest
1230pm Showtime!
400pm show ends
430pm board bus back to college

A few random things to take note
Samantha burn song
Tomorrow stage work please please focus cause we only have 5 minutes and if we play or slack Bryan will burst into anger
Please focus tomorrow
Don't turn your eyes to look for position. Just use like sense the position.
Bring water.
Projection look above audience don't look at yourself.
If you hear your friends shouting your name, please don't smile because we're supposed to be fierce.
If you make mistakes PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT STOP OR BE STUNNED OR SAY AIYAH OR SHIT. Just continue, show the judges and audience that you're professional
Joanne remember the counts and strength!
Jie Xin last part be steady!
Eunike all the things that yungwui say !

Today our practice was awesome and I'm very proud and happy and I know you guys too!!!!
We must WIN TOMORROW !!
DO OUR BEST.
Leave no regrets!!!!
Use all the efforts we have put in for tomorrow.
ACCENT IMPORTANT.
Strength.
Counts.
Sharpness of head

When we perform each step we must be aware of it.
I believe we can do it and we have each other no matter what!!!
And tomorrow there's a celebratory dinner :)
Confidence and projection !!!

Goodnight guys. Rest well :)"

So long right !!!!!
Hahaha some messages is yungwui do one. Some I do!!
Last one we composed together !

Heh
Now that I think of everything I'm like waaaa too.
Being a leader .. Sometimes You have to do things you really don't like.
Have to continue practicing hard. Dragging practices for hours just to clean up steps.
Cause if you don't put in the extra hard work you might influence them to slack too!!!!

After danceworks and Ogl
I really realised the power of influence.
It's really a lot!!!

Gonna post some photos next!!!
Thanks to everyone who supported NYSD !!
And supported me !!! :D
Andris Junwen Yongxiang Alvin Vernice Jon? And the other contemp dancers too!!!!!!
Hahaha muacks !!!!