bah .

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CHERN.yehlin here
smile and be free :D

peeps online.!!

since 1st jan 2009

Monday, April 29, 2013 10:37 PM

Maybe god wants me to be happy.
I mean seriously
What are the chances of something bad happening to me
And then yungwui and Jon have free period.
Lynn decides to talk to me suddenly in a month without any knowledge of anything.
Julian ken sensing something wrong.
Tomorrow 4hour and half max of lesson.
Wednesday holiday with Jinggy Jon xav.

I will do my best for myself. Sympathy.

Somehow I still think I'm blessed.
Blessed with friends.
I hope I do god proud.

10:33 PM

Yungwui
Ver
Lynn
Jon
Julian
Junwen

:)

7:29 PM

For my friends who saw me today.
I was an emotional wreck.
Cried like ... You can't even imagine.
Like I just sat at the grandstand and cried.
Or sobbed.
Or outburst.
I mean if you were within 3 meter radius from me you can hear me sobbing loud and clear.

Not that I blame them.
I think I have been rather haughty nowadays. And it is a good time to bring myself back down to earth.
To learn to sympathize again.

First time crying out loud in school tho.
For like 30 minutes ???
Just sat alone and cried.

But I do feel much better.
Thank god yungwui and Jon was there.
And vernice came afterwards.
She reminds me that life goes on.
I still have so much to improve on.
So much flaws.
So much to appreciate. And to love.

My eyes weren't even white.
It was pinkish red from tears.
And my nose was redder than Rudolph.
Which reminds me ... I think it's the first time I ever cried out so loudly in school.
And I think it's cause they are so dear to me that's why I did it.
I always have this weakness of neglecting what's most important.

I have a clean slate now.
Confidence shattered.

I just hope I can do things right.
And somehow I feel more motivated to study now.

Sunday, April 28, 2013 12:00 PM

Today. Is a great day beyond words.
Since its 2.53am I should sleep and post tomorrow !!!

Bottom line is
I love my class girls
I love NYSD
Today was my last performance with Forza.
Last day as leader.
Last day having 'ownership' of mpr.
We basically just play music and dance all the way !! Any random song !! And get really high!!!

I used to always think love is a burden.
Boyfriend girlfriend is a position.
But I was wrong.
Love relieves you of your burdens.
Boy friend girl friend is nothing but a mere title. Don't make it into something absolute.

But my and Jon Quek we are the same .
We a always have a scar. At times fresh blood will drip from it. Sometimes you can go on forgetting it. But the truth remains.

Thursday, April 25, 2013 7:27 PM

Don't check my blog nowadays k!!! I'm gonna update much less !!!! Thank you for reading ! :D

Sunday, April 21, 2013 6:47 PM

Sometimes just sometimes I wonder if every conversation I had it's just an illusion.
Everything I thought was a lie.
Everything I hoped wouldn't happen .. Happened
I could be disillusioned. Maybe I was right?
Cause at times the truth is never revealed.
And at times when it springs upon me I am utterly disappointed.

Tho what comforts me is that I know I'm not alone.

I really. Don't know.
And maybe cause so much internal thoughts can be within me at a time...
I can sympathize with others better.

Or maybe I just think too highly of myself.

Then again you are what you define yourself.

Bottom line is
I'm confused.

Feeling alone is something people cant force upon you.
(Dont get me wrong tho I'm a pretty happy kid now :) )

Saturday, April 20, 2013 11:09 PM

If people trust you enough for them to confide in you, help them.
I feel very happy with myself
Cause if I die I know I made my own world a better place.
Maybe helping people is actually purely to gain some self satisfaction.?

Thursday, April 18, 2013 9:22 PM

Met my secondary friend Daniel after school.
If a lot of you guys don't know him cause I don't really talk about him much.
I think it's cause I rarely meet him alone and we aren't best friends of each other.
Even so I do love him a lot as a friend.
Probably one of my best-er friend in nanyang.? You get the drift~

I like myself when im with him.
Tho I do surprise myself a lot about the kind of person I am when I'm with him.
I change entirely.
But deep inside I'm still me.

Okay to tell you the truth
I'm a nerd?
I get fascinated by things A LOT
I love reading.
I like reading the newspaper (provided the article isnt dry)
I love reading about history.
Political situations about countries.

The only reason I'm not reading much... Is cause I get addicted very easily.
Too easily it scares me.
If I'm addicted I would stay up the whole night until 10am the next day to read.
Read while eating.
Read while talking.
Read while walking.
Even tempted to read while bathing but that's impossible.

I do miss talking to him a lot tho.
It's like the dormant intelligent Yehlin hidden within me was unleashed.
And I could give my opinion on everything
Plus I'm really opinionated.
But I only had meagre knowledge on issues debated...
I still learnt a lot lot lot
Plus he passed to me many many interesting websites to listen to debates. And we both agreed that despite my interest in topics, the main reason why I'm not doing well in gp is cause I'm reading from the package.
Don't get me wrong I appreciate the gp department for doing it.
But it kills my interest towards issues.
I mean it's just reading from that thick set of notes and memorizing facts.
It feels worse than a science subject.
AND I'm a auditory learner.
So memorizing from black and white clearly will do no good to me.
I rather listen to heated well supported debates.
Which is what I'm gonna do from now onwards. Rather excited for it.

Nowadays all I've been using my brains for is when people come to me for advices. Or for studies.
And trust me. There's a fool proof formulae for giving advices
First : listen clearly carefully memorise everything
Second : understand the exact feeling of the person. Remember not to assume.
Third : find an experience in your lifetime that you had a similar feeling and what was the lesson learnt that could be included in the advice

Once that is done...
You kinda don't have to think very hard for advices.
It's just tapping on past experiences.

As for studies.
No matter how hard is it.
It doesn't require that much of a analytical critical thinking.
Basically cuz you can't doubt facts.
Facts are thrown at you to memorise.
And yes. Memorizing is hard.
But you can't doubt the credibility.

You can even see my feeble attempts at trying to analyze ANYTHING when I post on this blog.
Basically it's a desperate attempt to think about something deeper than mundane everyday life.

So in more ways than one.. I realised I think much less alr.
Until I met up with Daniel today.
So much to read up. So much to know.

Okok time to study!! Consulting Ms Theresia tomorrow !!

Something that was discussed
is religion good or bad ?
Bad : it's the cause for 7% REPORTED wars in the world
Good : ONLY 7% of the wars are caused by religion

Food for thought :D

Wednesday, April 17, 2013 8:06 PM

You can love your sister for knowing you.
Understanding you better than your parents.
You can hate your sister for being immature.
For shouting at you. For being annoying.

You can love your parents for giving you unconditional care and love.
But you can never hate your parents cause the sole purpose in all their actions are all for you. Whether you like it or not.

Sunday, April 14, 2013 11:36 AM

He is an ex for a reason #sotrue

Saturday, April 13, 2013 5:38 PM

I have so many things I wanna post about.
And since I don't feel like studying I'm just gonna post !

Today I went out ver for like 4 hours.
And it was such a timely meeting seriously!
I've been feeling so insecure recently.
Keep hearing about stuffs that's going on behind everyone back.
Why suddenly all the problems surface ??
People talking bad about others.
People disliking.

I heard 3 cases of people disliking others. And the other 3 people dont know.

So I felt quite shaky throughout the week.
Worried if I was one of those who kena talked back about but treated kindly to.

Feeling sleepy LOL

Today when I met ver
I could say ANYTHING that came to my mind
Which is really like
WA
Like it ranged from inside conversations to how bubble tea shops should sell small and medium cups.
The interesting part is
I REALLY CAN'T REMEMBER ANY AWKWARD SILENCES
HELL I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER SILENCES.
Somehow topics flowed like water taps in Singapore.
It's like how you can go out with friends and there are points where you are wondering how to continue the conver.
But there wasn't.
I just said anything
And we had so much fun .... Walking around nex LOL no special activity whatsoever.
And perhaps that's like the definition of a successful outing. It's not how grand the activity you do but the feeling you have when you're experiencing it.
I can actually READ her actions.
Foresee where she will walk.
How we walk in shops.
And we both agree on so many things. Especially our feelings on nanyang itself

Ok I'm probably boring you guys by talking about her so much

Hahaha
THE POINT IS
She gives me confidence !!!!
Like you know there's someone there !!! To listen !
So I feel happier now (tho I know I should be studying now)

Oh ya
Interesting fact : I feel happy studying

And and

I had this conversation on how much of a cycle relationships are especially at our age
Looks good
Feels happy
Feels happier
Feels crushed
Breaks up

THAT'S LIKE A SUMMARY OF EVERY RELATIONSHIP
At our age at least.
Which is kinda sad

I think I've gone through that cycle so much I can even predict what's gonna happen next.
Nothing can come as a surprise.
Of course I should defend myself by saying I've gone through that cycle once in sec 1 with an emo guy. Then once in sec 2 with a half gangster. Then another one from sec 3 -J1.
To avoid sounding like some sort of flirt.

It's like I've reached a point where
I know exactly exactly exactly what I want in my future partner.
And I don't want to be in another relationship for years.
I mean yes there's always a happy feeling when In love.
But when you can foresee and have experienced the pain of breakups .. Thrice.
You no wanna go through the same hell again.

It's like I can even describe my ideal partner and draw him out and know that ill be happily ever after
To be simple it's just all the characteristics that my exes had problems with
And of course more. But yeah.
Until I can get that ideal guy for me
I'm happy being alone.
I like the freedom heheheheh

I think I know what's the right thing to do.
Which is to be normal.

Hahaha okay
Bye !!!!

Wednesday, April 10, 2013 8:23 PM

Yet you know that doing your best would be what makes you proud of yourself.

8:05 PM

Yet you know that doing your best would be what makes you proud of yourself.

8:04 PM

I've been feeling upset lately. Which makes me feel like the dumbest girl alive.
I have everything I want. Everything I need.
Why do I feel upset ?

It's like you know that you can never be best at something
After 10 years of being under education system. You know that there's always someone out there better than you.
You know that you can never stand out in something.
You know you're just gonna be average. Just like you have been your whole life.

I'm no where good in
Studies
Dance
Social life

Yet I have the best family.
Kindest class.
Coolest? Cca. (At least I think it's cool)

Heh I think after reading this others will feel upset too.

Come cheer me up if you can!!!

Oh ya on a side note
I will never forget how those poly. Uni students owned the stage during danceworks
They weren't afraid of what impression the judges might have of them.
They were determined to form a great impression. The way they like it.
And really OWNED the stage.
So confidently.
Something I will learn always !

7:22 PM

Feeling like crap.
Sometimes I wonder if the problem is me or them.
Just as they have reasons I will have mine.
But this repetition is too much.
I wish they could love me as much as I love them.

Friday, April 5, 2013 8:36 PM

Vong told me the last year he was quite excited to go school every morning.
And then as I listened ... I realised how true it is.
I too was damn excited to go school.
I remember entering school . Especially going past the stairs to the LT area towards the seashell..
Everytime I enter that path I will always be so amazed and happy and feel so blessed to be in ny.
I remember wondering to myself how the hell this is the first time ever in my life will I be excited to GO TO SCHOOL which is one hour away from home. I thought that would never happen.

But Now everything's a little less.

Yet I'm getting reminded of all the happy memories again.
I think cause I've been feeling tired that's why I've been thinking negatively.

Sometimes I feel so insecure it's unbelievable.
Sometimes I forget that I have people other than vernice willing to stand by me.
When in actual fact...
Everyone is really kind.

My class is so acceptive towards all my stupid remarks heheh.
And so many kind people.
The dancers street dancers especially.. We all accept criticism like it's a part of our daily activity.
Anytime people say we are wrong we will nod our heads and agree and try our best to work it out together.
And then there's always people like kamting. Samantha. Shihui. Who liven things up A LOT LOL
I scold them a lot .. But deeeeeeep inside I'm thankful for their presence !!

And then I think about the gay okay and my birthday....
I miss them.
I miss being important to them...
I really wanna play with them more !!!

But I'm started to feel happier now.

Tomorrow is the dance performance.
I'm afraid of screwing up but we must have confidence YES !

Thursday, April 4, 2013 1:04 AM

A good leader listens.
She praises.
Admits her mistakes.
Ask people to point out her mistakes.
Does punishment with the team.
Enforce stricter rules on yourself than others.
She is kind to her teammates.
Tries to understand them.
Never ever personally attack a teammate.
And never show attitude to them no matter how bad things might be.
Be patient.
Always ensure there's no chasm between the leader and the team.
Encourages when everyone feels tired.
Boost morale.
Influence others to have more spirit.
Manage everything well.

And most importantly
Always remember that you are never superior to others just as they are never inferior to you.

Monday, April 1, 2013 7:51 PM

I promised myself that if I enter Nyjc. I will use the two hours of traveling everyday to study. And I shall keep my promise to myself !!!