But anyway 

I don't think bringing up a child is extremely hard. 

Yes I know it's hard.

That's why as a child now I decided to write things down to make sure that I won't make mistakes

Number one. 

Send your child for a sport cca or wushu or dance or basically an activity

Number two.

Educate your child or send to an extremely good kindergarten 

Ensure that the child does well and gain the habit of working hard by sending the child to many tuition centers where the child will experience optimal learning. 

Make sure he/she does well until primary 6.

Then let them go. 

Number three. 

Always stay humble to the child. Especially once the child reaches secondary.

Don't make yourself all high and mighty and absolute. Things that does not matter to you might matter to the child. Cause I will obviously lose recollection of my perspective as a teenager.

Always listen no matter what. Then evaluate with compassion and understanding. 

Apologise when I'm wrong. Teach when I'm right.

Number four

Always be close to the child. 

Let your child feel confident and comfortable to confide in anything to you. 

Anything at all. Dont reject things that your child think is important to them. like this boy. or this game. Make use of this bond to ensure that the child won't hide things for you. So the child will feel guilty when he/she does anything wrong. Teach them advice them hug them as a mother when you sense they feel sad. Dont make yourself become someone of superiority. Instill a strong conscience in them by guiding them to do the right things...

Which can be done by

Number five

Always always be a good example.

From daily habits. To character. To the way I treat my old parents. 

Cause you're the standard for the child. 

Whatever you do. The child will do too.

Okay bye !!!!!!!

Then now moving to cck library. 

Had a short call this morning

Then studies with ver for a while.

I feel surrounded by my friends warmth.

Not to mention my family

I miss my sister tho hahaha come back from your shopping trip safe and sound k!!!

So I'm happy

Insanely studied perhaps ?

I only have one day to start and end Econs 

Just like I have one day to start and end physics tomorrow 

Hope this works out. 

Haha #believe 

So far reread 3 chem chapters

Finish reading micro Econs 

Finishing 4 policies 

Come on market structure and one chem paper lets go!!!

I'm like at total inner peace now.

Like

I'm so satisfied and happy with my life

Today I met vernice !!!! Hahaha 

We both had fun talking and chatting and I told her my stories just as she told me hers !!! 

It's like so relaxing to be with her cause I can do whatever I like!!! And say whatever I wanna say it my mind !!!!!

And she does that too and we just chat chat

Plus I'm not afraid of silences when I'm with her !!

Throughout this holiday 

Aside from studying with ver

I studied with other friends too!!!

The western clique especially !!!!! 

Hazel Yongxiang Voon jonny 

Like we met up a lot !!! And chat a lot! 

And there was Yongxiangs random BBQ and Jon birthday BBQ that they both invited the western clique only hehehe

Then we interacted with Yongxiang parents and jonny sec school friends.!

I also met up with radiance for one day and we catch up a lot a lot hehehe

Met up with Siling randomly that day and omg I kinda miss being with her a lot cause its very funny.

Hahaha she will scold me and I will scold her in every sentence then we both laugh together

Plus somehow I understand her mentality very very very well.

Met Lynn once!! And my time with her is always so little I swear she's always rushing off every meetup. 

It was a GREAT pity I didn't meet up with my "family" aka Jinggy Jon xav

But we planning too so I hope we can meet !!

This holiday I bonded a lot with hazel too!!!!!

Cause she's super super on ! 

Like she will just randomly tell me she studying alone at woodlands then I will go join her 

Or that day we bumped into each other and went jurong point together and talked a lot !! 

I really love her company and love her attitude in live. Somehow me and her hit off REALLY well even tho we only know each other for so short time

Too similar I swear. 

Plus there are late night calls too and outings !!!! 

I think this is my happiest June holidays 

I think it's cause I'm no longer attached :) 

Okay this happy girl need to study!!

I am happy now !!!!

Cause every time after I type out something I will feel happier !! Like vent out already ma !!!

Surprised myself by having fun this week while studying the whole time.

Actually 

I had fun the whole holiday LOL

June is a month of opportunities. 

Been having late night calls

Freaking late night calls seriously.

Until 4am??? HAHAHAHA this week somemore. The crucial week.

For like 1hour 40minutes plus plus

Though I swear time flew by!!! 

Still fun but when I wake up I was like

Whut I did that? LOL

Ah well kekeke 

Last moment to have fun before plunging into extreme nerd mode

Yehlin nerd mode: half her thoughts about work. Formulas. Studying non stop besides dinner lunch bathe traveling.

Yehlin extreme nerd mode:

Dinner with studies. Travel with studies. And my brain is so fixated on the syllabus and exceptions and concepts I can revise while I'm walking.

Not reaching the extreme nerd mode yet!!!

Though I reached that for Olevels before hahaha

Non stop studying then once it was over I was so happy to watch television LOL for one hour.

I swear it was pure joy.

But I will reach the extreme nerd mode soon!!

Not for me

But for a friend

She told me something very sad

It reminded me of something else 

I just really really feel very very sad 

I feel like if a friend bother to heart to heart talk with you

Or with me*

I have every responsibility to cheer her up.

And to do so I must first put myself in her shoes

Which is really doable cause I know.

And then I just feel like crying now

I will dump my studies one side to comfort a friend 

Cause you know that friend is suffering at this very moment.

I can't even concentrate if I know that.

But now my friend is getting better

Yet feelings still linger within me

Her sadness and her pain

How it's just like me.

But monologing complaining about this doesn't help 

Time to let everything go. 

Trudge forward towards what we can change. 

Don't live in what we can't.

HAHAHAHA 

Okay first I went to jurong lib to study with my ogms 

Charmaine came late so it was only me and Enelton for a while 

At first jurong lib had a LOT of people

So I went star bucks to study !!! 

Studies with Enelton for a while

It was quite productive I think

Cause he goes by this policy of "use phone or get scolded"

So I had to dump this phone one side 

I bumped into 2 nanyangjcians and 3 commonwealthians !! Stephanie Leonard and this girl idk the name !! 

Then Starbucks chased us off cause we can't really study inside

And we went to JE lib after Charmaine came 

While finding seats I bumped into 

SILING SURYA WEIPENG

Hahah and I studied with them cause they have table then left my two ogms LOL 

Aiyah they all okay okay one

At our break the four of us walked around je lib and we bumped into Wei wen and her boyf and yeejian 

And also xuanpo vankurt and and 

A CHOA CHU KANG PRIMARY GIRL that I didn't recognise but I still chat with her for like 10minutes for old times sake!!

A lot of cckpians are in pjc now !! 

Hahaha ver I'm listing down the names for you k

Anyway yes that's like a lot 

Hahaha 

I was wondering if I will bump into Lester but I didn't woooo!!!

Good day today!! Bye !!!

The dormant crazily nerdy hardworking yehlin is coming back

The last time I am this yehlin was during Olevels 

But this time I'm fighting Alevels

I suddenly changed when my friend told me he's doing study marathon 

8am - 11pm

And a lot of people are doing it now

Plus I've been playing like mad these 3 weeks

Which is rather worrying actually LOL 

But I had a lot of fun and happiness

Time to get serious about studies tho

No more checking twitter insta blogs

But I don't think I'm gonna do well for mid years

But I really wanna do well for As 

Like really 

Not fantastic scores

But not very bad either.

Tomorrow I need to finish entire Maths syllabus and complete one chem mid years paper. Which is like 5 hours long or something LOL 

But I've got no time. 

I admit I have been behaving like some love sick puppy LOL

All my thoughts are floaty. 

Never sure not determined.

Waiting for messages. Giving late replies on purpose LOL

Feeling so happy over small stuffs.

But enough fun and games

I've got to get serious about studies now.

You will realise that I posted some posts initially but I removed it as draft!! 

Cause I think it was a bit inappropriate !!!!

Been listening to Demi lovato lately weeeee

Feeling a bit sleepy 

For the whole of next week I have no more outing plans !!!!!!! Which is strange and weird and horrible but nevertheless expected cause everyone is studying

And surprisingly I don't miss school

Yes I miss my friends

But I don't miss school

School is tiring 

Hahaha

Okay I'm a really happy girl lately 

Been a long time since I've met up with vernice !!

Ver when you see this lets study for real together !!!! Haha like try to really study ! 

Haven't met up with my extended family 

Aka Jinggy Jon xav

I miss being with them

But cause Jinggy is laselle and xav poly me and Jon jc 

So our schedule is just weird 

And Jinggy goes for jobs and stuffs ! 

Met up with my og recently too!!!

I'm rather active on twitter and Instagram 

And I could post a long post about the whole haze situation to me 

But I'm too happy and relaxed to post hahaha

Just happy it's over 

Went for Jonathan BBQ birthday party recently 

The next day Went to watch World war Z !!! 

One more week of bliss 

Can't wait for this period to last for months

After As ^^

Have been so hectic lately 

Either trying to squeeze studying into my schedule or going out

Thursday went out to study at 5-11pm at woodlands

Friday went watch trdo at 7-10pm at woodlands 

Saturday went Yongxiang family BBQ with the western clique 8-11pm at woodlands 

Hahah 

Woodlands is like my hometown now ??? Might as well just stay there !!!! 

As much as I want to lock myself at home. There are events like OG outing Jon BBQ and meeting with Jinggy Jon Xavier soon 

Which makes me wonder how the toot do I freaking study 

It's worrying really 

I'm so behind time right now

I can throw my whole inorganic out of the window

Which...I'm considering doing that 

Lose that 20 marks to gain for other subjects 

Fk Econs I don't even know how to study that shit 

I will try though

My physics have been okay so far 

And no whoever out there who thinks h1 physics is easy 

I'll spit on that 

Lesser chapters yes. 

But harder questions too

I know cause I let my h2 friend do h1 questions and she was like wtf.

The only advantage I have is a good teacher. Who probably pulled my grades up from U to B average kekeke

Moving on to lighter things

I had a very fun time on Thursday

Fun? Or studied hard ???

Pepper lunch was awesome omg 

And I was laughing like mad again. 

Which makes me wonder how childish I am 

Hahaha the imbecile talks to the imbecile

Wanted to continue studying at 11pm after our dinner at 10 

But naaaaw fun run all the way 

I was the master of fun run when it mattered 

Talked a bit for the fat one too!!!!

^^ 

Friday 

I was so sian

Cause yungwui wasn't going

Vernice wasnt going

But but that being said kamting and Jiexin was damn kind to take me in and included me like their own. 

Which makes me love them hahaha 

They are awesome people !!!!

But still the show is so damn good

Speechless 

The winner wasn't as clear cut as last year tho and I personally think last year choreo was better tho this year technique was better

Yesterday night BBQ 

Fun with them as usual

They're probably one of the best things that's happening to me 

Western clique 

Voon Sean hazel Yongxiang Jon me 

Every conversation is funny 

Idk how did that happen hahahah 

Still awesome !!!! 

Had stupid conversations all the way 

Laugh laugh talk talk 

Kekeke 

Okay bye !

But but going republic poly to watch TRDO on Friday OMG OMG OMG 

Okay so excited 

For two reasons

Last year trdo was still unforgettable 

All the contestants were so so so good 

It's like a standard out of this world

Plus I got chills from watching titanium ^^ 

And then 

It's time to dress up again kekekeke

So wearing my white dress this time whoop!!!

Cause I had freaking 8 freaking solid hours of physics to go through my h1 class 

Don't really have any opportunity to bond with my h1 class too 

So when I entered I was very lost 

And the physics lessons were 9-1 2-6 

Yes both sessions

One session four hours each

My physics teacher is like doing a four hour session on every chapter 

In a way it's not needing to revise alr

Whoa today was draining 

So I entered the class and Alicia knew that I was alone so she told me sit with her and Xiao ting :D 

Which was so nice

Then I could ask them questions or discuss for that 4 freaking hours 

The break in the middle I was uncertain about following them too !!

But they were like 

"Come come!" 

Which I swear is very kind ^^ 

Then after physics first session followed then out of school then on my way out I thought would eat lunch alone in school

But i met yangjin who told me I could eat lunch with them hehe

Cause Alicia and xiao ting was going out not going for next session of physics !!! 

So I went out to Dabao alone and then I found out Julian was in school too!!!! Super damn coincidental 

And he was alone cause he went to gym 

So we ate and chat together for about 40minutes !!!

Then went for my second session for physics !! 

Which I was unsure too cause idk who was going

And then I entered the room and saw....

JIE YI 

and Lewis and praveen and there was ester and the 1222 girls too !!!

But I know jieyi through same friends and Jaser !! And me and her click quite well !!

So it was so good 

And then we all chat and had fun me jieyi Lewis praveen and at the start I was so tired tho I mean seriously

Heavy lunch and 4hours of physics

I just slept through one whole question 

And after that I had SO MUCH ENERGY

Which made me really reall happy

So I discovered I must really really nap when I'm studying !!!! If not I don't have enough energy or concentration hehe 

After all these I took jieyi car home from lorong chuan to marsling which is bloody good that's like 50 minutes of traveling time hehehehe 

So happy 

It's like I started the day thinking it will be sad and lonely but it wasn't ^^

Hahaha today I still have to do more work~~~ bye !!!!!

Dont let your bad memory screw your mood. 

Remember all the times that should be cherished ^^

It's like I've only done the organic McQ. Close to finishing. Tho I swear it's the hardest 50 questions I've ever attempted ever LOL every question has a trick to it and must see see seee seee carefully

Tho I'm still ashamed. 

One week of hols has ended

But I swear I had a blast 

Yesterday I was really edgey tho.

Wondering if it's mood swings. Lack of sleep. Or just frustration. 

I don't even understand why I'm lacking of sleep LOL

Okay must keep my promise to myself sleep by 12 wake at 8!!! 

On Thursday I went out for a movie and study session reached home at 12am even tho I left house at 10am LOL 

On Friday we had dance farewell I left house at 12.30pm and dance ended at 4pm 

Bumped into hazel and had a very very very good time going out with her 

I swear she's as stupid as me kekeke

Or maybe more blur even

Both of us laugh really hard over the smallest thing :D 

And then 9.30pm the clique called for supper which astonishingly I went !! 

Supper at prata shop it's always always fun and relaxing around them :)

Hahaha and reached home around 12am again. 

Yesterday I studied whoopie!!!! 

And left house at 4.45pm to meet Jinggy and Jon at 5.30pm je !!! Then we talked talked like idiots over stupid things

And I miss them a lot

Like looking at their faces make me happy. 

We all joked around so long LOL 

Bailamos was nice !!!!!!! :) 

I just wished they included more hip hop !! Or street!! Instead of so much jazz!! 

Went for supper at macs then went home after that at 12 or 11.45 or so hahaha 

But I realized that I'm different around ver Lynn Jon Jingwen Chloe

Like I'm a different person .

I behave differently to complement their character? Behavior?

Yesterday was just weird for me cause it felt like all sorts of weird behavior was coming out LOL 

Yesterday I saw Lester's tweets 

And how he haven't learnt

At least I've learn what I've done wrong

You have to learn your mistakes too 

Don't keep blaming the girl like some asshole without a backbone

I'm relieved I've left him :)

No more tears for such a long time !! 

Sometimes just sometimes I think it's a waste. A big big waste. 

But ah well when characters don't match exactly . Things are like that!!! 

Oh ya and I've always found it strange that guys pride their 'achievement' on whether they have a girlfriend or not

Which I think it's ridiculous. 

It's just you haven't found someone that match your character yet. Once you find the right person who can click so well with you, everything will blossom. So don't worry everybody is different :) 

Okay study weeeee bye !!

Everybody has a past. But everybody has a future to live for. 

Don't get consumed by what can't be change. Concentrate on what is changing. 

Remember the happy memories and forget the bad. Protect yourself. 

My past was so complicated. 

Okay not extremely hahaha

But still

So have to remember that and live in the present right now. 

Cause this is when things matter. 

Things that you feel should be cherished. Cherish it.

I am happy !!!!

I feel lazy to post!!!!! 

So... Bye !!! :D

My god I must have been awful. 

Guilty now~

All I gotta say is

I'm speechless absolutely speechless. 

Sigh 

Haha it's okay la happy troubles I guess. 

It's time when people sit down and reflect OR SOMETHING !! 

Hahahaha 

Makes me wonder if they are too busy studying !! 

Okay so I'm gonna post anyway~ 

Vernice birthday celebration was awesome hehe 

I miss sentosa

I love sentosa

Okay but sentosa is only good place for groups. Not a date. 

A date can be boring~ I think!!! 

I love going sentosa in groups

Burying people

Playing in the water. 

And I think vernice likes it too right hehehehe 

But I guess the funniest part about yesterday was the shopping !!! 

I dk how we went from shop to shop being stupid 

Real stupid and commenting on everything hehehe 

Wish I got to see sun set yesterday !!!!! Haha but ah well~ 

For today and tomorrow I have two full days at home. Which I intend to make good use of!! Before going out on 6/7/8 LOL 

I made a schedule for the holidays. 

And yes I must follow it cause even the schedule itself is pretty tight~ 

I just reread a letter given to be for my lowest point in term 2 

By a dear girlfriend of mine :D 

A long long letter. 

She told me that my strength was my never say die attitude.

I always knew that I believed in the impossible.. 

But I didn't realized that it was this much!! 

It's like my naiveness? Believing in everything can be things like

Going to the moon one day.

Being a lead dancer in a professional performance one day. 

Getting into Lee Kuan Yew school one day. 

And the interesting part is that I sincerely really believe that I can do it. 

I have every capacity to do it.

Of course it's with the condition that I work towards it. 

It's really strange though. Now that I think about it...

That I know that as long as I put in enough hardwork I can attain what others think is impossible. 

But I really really do think so!!!!

So it all boils down to what do I want ?? 

Heh all I want is to have a stable job and a happy and close family in the future. 

my expectations have turned a full circle back to my happiness

It's because I have "low" expectations with endless confidence in my ability, I am happy. 

Well in the first place, my expectations aren't even low.

It's so hard to have a real close family. 

And tiring to have a stable job. 

Maybe maybe it's cause I can also measure the amount of effort needed to attain certain things so I know what I want and what I don't want. 

I'm not sure 

I started to wonder when did my beliefs gave me an edge.

And then I realized that would be for promos and Olevels

I mean for Olevels..

 I got Ds and Cs for prelims. 

L1R5 was close to 24.

And that was freaking hell prelim 2

I got so pek chek and freaked out and cried and mugged like a dog 

And I made sure I got 3A1 for the retest which was in the same setting and new papers I've never seen. 

My 9 raw some would say that's like easy~ 

Or some would say that's like damn hard. 

But I was even surprised in my state of mind back when I received my prelim 2 results.. I firmly believed that I could do well for Olevels (at least my definition of well) 

And then for promos ...

For J1 mid years I got 29. 

And then my peers got 50+ rank points

And in the end I beat them for promos with 63. 

Wtf happened to me for promos LOL 

I guess it's this endless faith and confidence that I posses. 

Which I only come to realise now

But this very trait can lead to my downfall

It's the very reason why I absolutely suck in relationships

My expectations are beyond an attainable level

Which makes me feel dissatisfied with everything or anything.

And when I questioned my opinions I started to get annoyed cause I could actually prove to myself that my expectations were reasonable. 

In many ways it's impossible to surprise me..

And thus if if if I were to enter a relationship thousands of years down the road.

I henceforth must always have the same mentality I had before I validate that person to be my boyfriend. 

Yes I gotta remember !!!!!! 

Haha okay time to study my dears

June holidays can make miracles work as long as you put your mind to it. 

Byeee!!

I'm feeling bored alr 

Was so looking forward to holidays but now I'm just BOREDDD 

Hahaha wish there was school without lessons

Whatever~ time to study then

Omg just kill me now I want to sleep so badly 

1am 

I have been doing so much these past few days 

Gp turned out slightly better than I expected 

I feel a bit relieved

It's like you know you did a better paper somehow 

Of course gp is so so so so much more unpredictable unlike science subjects 

But I think I did okay!!! I think I passed which is something which doesn't come easy to me ! Sighpie 

I'm working out more lately too. 

Wa the feeling when your face sweat is just like COOL YO

Cause cheek fats are the hardest fats to lose. 

And my cheeks are like two big pieces of meat 

Kekeke I just slept and woke up

Good morning people !!!!!!!

I wanna go back to sleep

Anyway I should finally post about what I wanted to post about

Which is relationships

CHANG CHANG CHAAAANG !!!

yesterday I met Ranice on the way home and she gave me a new insight 

She told me that

Every two people value different things and show affection differently

One is by contact

Two quality time

Three simply the character mutual understanding. Similar thinking. Like the personality and presence is enough to attract you 

And a lot of other methods !!!!!!!

But this is all she could remember hehe

And then I was thinking 

Where was I under ???

For many many couples it's pretty obvious 

Some couples those you see on the mrt PDA ing is clearly showing affection by contact. Jingyi Qi hua too. 

But some couples like Lynn and jonny they used value the most about each other through mutual personalities. Not contact definitely.

And then there are couples like the one recently formed around me hahaha

They value quality time together the most. 

Each category has their own pros and cons really. 

Every body treasure their own ways 

But let me give my perspective on it k hehe

Physical contact is a BAD way of treasuring the relationship

Yes it can be the most direct and easiest method of showing affection.

But it can also be very shallow and it's really on the surface type of bond

That being said its not like couples shouldn't hold hands or something

They just shouldn't depend on that to bond cause clearly It won't last long. To me I think !! It's like there's no real basis 

Now mutual attraction and by character. Or quality time . Both I think it's really important

If that person character doesn't attract you in the first place.. Don't freaking enter a relationship with that person just out of habit, sympathy or love for the feeling of being loved.

Cause that's what I did.. Which I deeply regret. 

I think a relationship is better when the guy and girl both fall for each other

And not like the guy chase the girl and the girl didn't fall for the guy until a lot of time has passed and a lot of memories made and then.... The girl wasn't attracted to his character in the first place.

I used think that contact was important tho. But I realized that if there's no initial attraction. No quality quality not quantity time spent together.. A relationship will fall apart eventually. 

Hehehehe 

OKAY IT'S JUNE HOLIDAYS IM DAMN HAPPY!!

But anyway 

I don't think bringing up a child is extremely hard. 

Yes I know it's hard.

That's why as a child now I decided to write things down to make sure that I won't make mistakes

Number one. 

Send your child for a sport cca or wushu or dance or basically an activity

Number two.

Educate your child or send to an extremely good kindergarten 

Ensure that the child does well and gain the habit of working hard by sending the child to many tuition centers where the child will experience optimal learning. 

Make sure he/she does well until primary 6.

Then let them go. 

Number three. 

Always stay humble to the child. Especially once the child reaches secondary.

Don't make yourself all high and mighty and absolute. Things that does not matter to you might matter to the child. Cause I will obviously lose recollection of my perspective as a teenager.

Always listen no matter what. Then evaluate with compassion and understanding. 

Apologise when I'm wrong. Teach when I'm right.

Number four

Always be close to the child. 

Let your child feel confident and comfortable to confide in anything to you. 

Anything at all. Dont reject things that your child think is important to them. like this boy. or this game. Make use of this bond to ensure that the child won't hide things for you. So the child will feel guilty when he/she does anything wrong. Teach them advice them hug them as a mother when you sense they feel sad. Dont make yourself become someone of superiority. Instill a strong conscience in them by guiding them to do the right things...

Which can be done by

Number five

Always always be a good example.

From daily habits. To character. To the way I treat my old parents. 

Cause you're the standard for the child. 

Whatever you do. The child will do too.

Okay bye !!!!!!!

Then now moving to cck library. 

Had a short call this morning

Then studies with ver for a while.

I feel surrounded by my friends warmth.

Not to mention my family

I miss my sister tho hahaha come back from your shopping trip safe and sound k!!!

So I'm happy

Insanely studied perhaps ?

I only have one day to start and end Econs 

Just like I have one day to start and end physics tomorrow 

Hope this works out. 

Haha #believe 

So far reread 3 chem chapters

Finish reading micro Econs 

Finishing 4 policies 

Come on market structure and one chem paper lets go!!!

I'm like at total inner peace now.

Like

I'm so satisfied and happy with my life

Today I met vernice !!!! Hahaha 

We both had fun talking and chatting and I told her my stories just as she told me hers !!! 

It's like so relaxing to be with her cause I can do whatever I like!!! And say whatever I wanna say it my mind !!!!!

And she does that too and we just chat chat

Plus I'm not afraid of silences when I'm with her !!

Throughout this holiday 

Aside from studying with ver

I studied with other friends too!!!

The western clique especially !!!!! 

Hazel Yongxiang Voon jonny 

Like we met up a lot !!! And chat a lot! 

And there was Yongxiangs random BBQ and Jon birthday BBQ that they both invited the western clique only hehehe

Then we interacted with Yongxiang parents and jonny sec school friends.!

I also met up with radiance for one day and we catch up a lot a lot hehehe

Met up with Siling randomly that day and omg I kinda miss being with her a lot cause its very funny.

Hahaha she will scold me and I will scold her in every sentence then we both laugh together

Plus somehow I understand her mentality very very very well.

Met Lynn once!! And my time with her is always so little I swear she's always rushing off every meetup. 

It was a GREAT pity I didn't meet up with my "family" aka Jinggy Jon xav

But we planning too so I hope we can meet !!

This holiday I bonded a lot with hazel too!!!!!

Cause she's super super on ! 

Like she will just randomly tell me she studying alone at woodlands then I will go join her 

Or that day we bumped into each other and went jurong point together and talked a lot !! 

I really love her company and love her attitude in live. Somehow me and her hit off REALLY well even tho we only know each other for so short time

Too similar I swear. 

Plus there are late night calls too and outings !!!! 

I think this is my happiest June holidays 

I think it's cause I'm no longer attached :) 

Okay this happy girl need to study!!

I am happy now !!!!

Cause every time after I type out something I will feel happier !! Like vent out already ma !!!

Surprised myself by having fun this week while studying the whole time.

Actually 

I had fun the whole holiday LOL

June is a month of opportunities. 

Been having late night calls

Freaking late night calls seriously.

Until 4am??? HAHAHAHA this week somemore. The crucial week.

For like 1hour 40minutes plus plus

Though I swear time flew by!!! 

Still fun but when I wake up I was like

Whut I did that? LOL

Ah well kekeke 

Last moment to have fun before plunging into extreme nerd mode

Yehlin nerd mode: half her thoughts about work. Formulas. Studying non stop besides dinner lunch bathe traveling.

Yehlin extreme nerd mode:

Dinner with studies. Travel with studies. And my brain is so fixated on the syllabus and exceptions and concepts I can revise while I'm walking.

Not reaching the extreme nerd mode yet!!!

Though I reached that for Olevels before hahaha

Non stop studying then once it was over I was so happy to watch television LOL for one hour.

I swear it was pure joy.

But I will reach the extreme nerd mode soon!!

Not for me

But for a friend

She told me something very sad

It reminded me of something else 

I just really really feel very very sad 

I feel like if a friend bother to heart to heart talk with you

Or with me*

I have every responsibility to cheer her up.

And to do so I must first put myself in her shoes

Which is really doable cause I know.

And then I just feel like crying now

I will dump my studies one side to comfort a friend 

Cause you know that friend is suffering at this very moment.

I can't even concentrate if I know that.

But now my friend is getting better

Yet feelings still linger within me

Her sadness and her pain

How it's just like me.

But monologing complaining about this doesn't help 

Time to let everything go. 

Trudge forward towards what we can change. 

Don't live in what we can't.

HAHAHAHA 

Okay first I went to jurong lib to study with my ogms 

Charmaine came late so it was only me and Enelton for a while 

At first jurong lib had a LOT of people

So I went star bucks to study !!! 

Studies with Enelton for a while

It was quite productive I think

Cause he goes by this policy of "use phone or get scolded"

So I had to dump this phone one side 

I bumped into 2 nanyangjcians and 3 commonwealthians !! Stephanie Leonard and this girl idk the name !! 

Then Starbucks chased us off cause we can't really study inside

And we went to JE lib after Charmaine came 

While finding seats I bumped into 

SILING SURYA WEIPENG

Hahah and I studied with them cause they have table then left my two ogms LOL 

Aiyah they all okay okay one

At our break the four of us walked around je lib and we bumped into Wei wen and her boyf and yeejian 

And also xuanpo vankurt and and 

A CHOA CHU KANG PRIMARY GIRL that I didn't recognise but I still chat with her for like 10minutes for old times sake!!

A lot of cckpians are in pjc now !! 

Hahaha ver I'm listing down the names for you k

Anyway yes that's like a lot 

Hahaha 

I was wondering if I will bump into Lester but I didn't woooo!!!

Good day today!! Bye !!!

The dormant crazily nerdy hardworking yehlin is coming back

The last time I am this yehlin was during Olevels 

But this time I'm fighting Alevels

I suddenly changed when my friend told me he's doing study marathon 

8am - 11pm

And a lot of people are doing it now

Plus I've been playing like mad these 3 weeks

Which is rather worrying actually LOL 

But I had a lot of fun and happiness

Time to get serious about studies tho

No more checking twitter insta blogs

But I don't think I'm gonna do well for mid years

But I really wanna do well for As 

Like really 

Not fantastic scores

But not very bad either.

Tomorrow I need to finish entire Maths syllabus and complete one chem mid years paper. Which is like 5 hours long or something LOL 

But I've got no time. 

I admit I have been behaving like some love sick puppy LOL

All my thoughts are floaty. 

Never sure not determined.

Waiting for messages. Giving late replies on purpose LOL

Feeling so happy over small stuffs.

But enough fun and games

I've got to get serious about studies now.

You will realise that I posted some posts initially but I removed it as draft!! 

Cause I think it was a bit inappropriate !!!!

Been listening to Demi lovato lately weeeee

Feeling a bit sleepy 

For the whole of next week I have no more outing plans !!!!!!! Which is strange and weird and horrible but nevertheless expected cause everyone is studying

And surprisingly I don't miss school

Yes I miss my friends

But I don't miss school

School is tiring 

Hahaha

Okay I'm a really happy girl lately 

Been a long time since I've met up with vernice !!

Ver when you see this lets study for real together !!!! Haha like try to really study ! 

Haven't met up with my extended family 

Aka Jinggy Jon xav

I miss being with them

But cause Jinggy is laselle and xav poly me and Jon jc 

So our schedule is just weird 

And Jinggy goes for jobs and stuffs ! 

Met up with my og recently too!!!

I'm rather active on twitter and Instagram 

And I could post a long post about the whole haze situation to me 

But I'm too happy and relaxed to post hahaha

Just happy it's over 

Went for Jonathan BBQ birthday party recently 

The next day Went to watch World war Z !!! 

One more week of bliss 

Can't wait for this period to last for months

After As ^^

Have been so hectic lately 

Either trying to squeeze studying into my schedule or going out

Thursday went out to study at 5-11pm at woodlands

Friday went watch trdo at 7-10pm at woodlands 

Saturday went Yongxiang family BBQ with the western clique 8-11pm at woodlands 

Hahah 

Woodlands is like my hometown now ??? Might as well just stay there !!!! 

As much as I want to lock myself at home. There are events like OG outing Jon BBQ and meeting with Jinggy Jon Xavier soon 

Which makes me wonder how the toot do I freaking study 

It's worrying really 

I'm so behind time right now

I can throw my whole inorganic out of the window

Which...I'm considering doing that 

Lose that 20 marks to gain for other subjects 

Fk Econs I don't even know how to study that shit 

I will try though

My physics have been okay so far 

And no whoever out there who thinks h1 physics is easy 

I'll spit on that 

Lesser chapters yes. 

But harder questions too

I know cause I let my h2 friend do h1 questions and she was like wtf.

The only advantage I have is a good teacher. Who probably pulled my grades up from U to B average kekeke

Moving on to lighter things

I had a very fun time on Thursday

Fun? Or studied hard ???

Pepper lunch was awesome omg 

And I was laughing like mad again. 

Which makes me wonder how childish I am 

Hahaha the imbecile talks to the imbecile

Wanted to continue studying at 11pm after our dinner at 10 

But naaaaw fun run all the way 

I was the master of fun run when it mattered 

Talked a bit for the fat one too!!!!

^^ 

Friday 

I was so sian

Cause yungwui wasn't going

Vernice wasnt going

But but that being said kamting and Jiexin was damn kind to take me in and included me like their own. 

Which makes me love them hahaha 

They are awesome people !!!!

But still the show is so damn good

Speechless 

The winner wasn't as clear cut as last year tho and I personally think last year choreo was better tho this year technique was better

Yesterday night BBQ 

Fun with them as usual

They're probably one of the best things that's happening to me 

Western clique 

Voon Sean hazel Yongxiang Jon me 

Every conversation is funny 

Idk how did that happen hahahah 

Still awesome !!!! 

Had stupid conversations all the way 

Laugh laugh talk talk 

Kekeke 

Okay bye !

But but going republic poly to watch TRDO on Friday OMG OMG OMG 

Okay so excited 

For two reasons

Last year trdo was still unforgettable 

All the contestants were so so so good 

It's like a standard out of this world

Plus I got chills from watching titanium ^^ 

And then 

It's time to dress up again kekekeke

So wearing my white dress this time whoop!!!

Cause I had freaking 8 freaking solid hours of physics to go through my h1 class 

Don't really have any opportunity to bond with my h1 class too 

So when I entered I was very lost 

And the physics lessons were 9-1 2-6 

Yes both sessions

One session four hours each

My physics teacher is like doing a four hour session on every chapter 

In a way it's not needing to revise alr

Whoa today was draining 

So I entered the class and Alicia knew that I was alone so she told me sit with her and Xiao ting :D 

Which was so nice

Then I could ask them questions or discuss for that 4 freaking hours 

The break in the middle I was uncertain about following them too !!

But they were like 

"Come come!" 

Which I swear is very kind ^^ 

Then after physics first session followed then out of school then on my way out I thought would eat lunch alone in school

But i met yangjin who told me I could eat lunch with them hehe

Cause Alicia and xiao ting was going out not going for next session of physics !!! 

So I went out to Dabao alone and then I found out Julian was in school too!!!! Super damn coincidental 

And he was alone cause he went to gym 

So we ate and chat together for about 40minutes !!!

Then went for my second session for physics !! 

Which I was unsure too cause idk who was going

And then I entered the room and saw....

JIE YI 

and Lewis and praveen and there was ester and the 1222 girls too !!!

But I know jieyi through same friends and Jaser !! And me and her click quite well !!

So it was so good 

And then we all chat and had fun me jieyi Lewis praveen and at the start I was so tired tho I mean seriously

Heavy lunch and 4hours of physics

I just slept through one whole question 

And after that I had SO MUCH ENERGY

Which made me really reall happy

So I discovered I must really really nap when I'm studying !!!! If not I don't have enough energy or concentration hehe 

After all these I took jieyi car home from lorong chuan to marsling which is bloody good that's like 50 minutes of traveling time hehehehe 

So happy 

It's like I started the day thinking it will be sad and lonely but it wasn't ^^

Hahaha today I still have to do more work~~~ bye !!!!!

Dont let your bad memory screw your mood. 

Remember all the times that should be cherished ^^

It's like I've only done the organic McQ. Close to finishing. Tho I swear it's the hardest 50 questions I've ever attempted ever LOL every question has a trick to it and must see see seee seee carefully

Tho I'm still ashamed. 

One week of hols has ended

But I swear I had a blast 

Yesterday I was really edgey tho.

Wondering if it's mood swings. Lack of sleep. Or just frustration. 

I don't even understand why I'm lacking of sleep LOL

Okay must keep my promise to myself sleep by 12 wake at 8!!! 

On Thursday I went out for a movie and study session reached home at 12am even tho I left house at 10am LOL 

On Friday we had dance farewell I left house at 12.30pm and dance ended at 4pm 

Bumped into hazel and had a very very very good time going out with her 

I swear she's as stupid as me kekeke

Or maybe more blur even

Both of us laugh really hard over the smallest thing :D 

And then 9.30pm the clique called for supper which astonishingly I went !! 

Supper at prata shop it's always always fun and relaxing around them :)

Hahaha and reached home around 12am again. 

Yesterday I studied whoopie!!!! 

And left house at 4.45pm to meet Jinggy and Jon at 5.30pm je !!! Then we talked talked like idiots over stupid things

And I miss them a lot

Like looking at their faces make me happy. 

We all joked around so long LOL 

Bailamos was nice !!!!!!! :) 

I just wished they included more hip hop !! Or street!! Instead of so much jazz!! 

Went for supper at macs then went home after that at 12 or 11.45 or so hahaha 

But I realized that I'm different around ver Lynn Jon Jingwen Chloe

Like I'm a different person .

I behave differently to complement their character? Behavior?

Yesterday was just weird for me cause it felt like all sorts of weird behavior was coming out LOL 

Yesterday I saw Lester's tweets 

And how he haven't learnt

At least I've learn what I've done wrong

You have to learn your mistakes too 

Don't keep blaming the girl like some asshole without a backbone

I'm relieved I've left him :)

No more tears for such a long time !! 

Sometimes just sometimes I think it's a waste. A big big waste. 

But ah well when characters don't match exactly . Things are like that!!! 

Oh ya and I've always found it strange that guys pride their 'achievement' on whether they have a girlfriend or not

Which I think it's ridiculous. 

It's just you haven't found someone that match your character yet. Once you find the right person who can click so well with you, everything will blossom. So don't worry everybody is different :) 

Okay study weeeee bye !!

Everybody has a past. But everybody has a future to live for. 

Don't get consumed by what can't be change. Concentrate on what is changing. 

Remember the happy memories and forget the bad. Protect yourself. 

My past was so complicated. 

Okay not extremely hahaha

But still

So have to remember that and live in the present right now. 

Cause this is when things matter. 

Things that you feel should be cherished. Cherish it.

I am happy !!!!

I feel lazy to post!!!!! 

So... Bye !!! :D

My god I must have been awful. 

Guilty now~

All I gotta say is

I'm speechless absolutely speechless. 

Sigh 

Haha it's okay la happy troubles I guess. 

It's time when people sit down and reflect OR SOMETHING !! 

Hahahaha 

Makes me wonder if they are too busy studying !! 

Okay so I'm gonna post anyway~ 

Vernice birthday celebration was awesome hehe 

I miss sentosa

I love sentosa

Okay but sentosa is only good place for groups. Not a date. 

A date can be boring~ I think!!! 

I love going sentosa in groups

Burying people

Playing in the water. 

And I think vernice likes it too right hehehehe 

But I guess the funniest part about yesterday was the shopping !!! 

I dk how we went from shop to shop being stupid 

Real stupid and commenting on everything hehehe 

Wish I got to see sun set yesterday !!!!! Haha but ah well~ 

For today and tomorrow I have two full days at home. Which I intend to make good use of!! Before going out on 6/7/8 LOL 

I made a schedule for the holidays. 

And yes I must follow it cause even the schedule itself is pretty tight~ 

I just reread a letter given to be for my lowest point in term 2 

By a dear girlfriend of mine :D 

A long long letter. 

She told me that my strength was my never say die attitude.

I always knew that I believed in the impossible.. 

But I didn't realized that it was this much!! 

It's like my naiveness? Believing in everything can be things like

Going to the moon one day.

Being a lead dancer in a professional performance one day. 

Getting into Lee Kuan Yew school one day. 

And the interesting part is that I sincerely really believe that I can do it. 

I have every capacity to do it.

Of course it's with the condition that I work towards it. 

It's really strange though. Now that I think about it...

That I know that as long as I put in enough hardwork I can attain what others think is impossible. 

But I really really do think so!!!!

So it all boils down to what do I want ?? 

Heh all I want is to have a stable job and a happy and close family in the future. 

my expectations have turned a full circle back to my happiness

It's because I have "low" expectations with endless confidence in my ability, I am happy. 

Well in the first place, my expectations aren't even low.

It's so hard to have a real close family. 

And tiring to have a stable job. 

Maybe maybe it's cause I can also measure the amount of effort needed to attain certain things so I know what I want and what I don't want. 

I'm not sure 

I started to wonder when did my beliefs gave me an edge.

And then I realized that would be for promos and Olevels

I mean for Olevels..

 I got Ds and Cs for prelims. 

L1R5 was close to 24.

And that was freaking hell prelim 2

I got so pek chek and freaked out and cried and mugged like a dog 

And I made sure I got 3A1 for the retest which was in the same setting and new papers I've never seen. 

My 9 raw some would say that's like easy~ 

Or some would say that's like damn hard. 

But I was even surprised in my state of mind back when I received my prelim 2 results.. I firmly believed that I could do well for Olevels (at least my definition of well) 

And then for promos ...

For J1 mid years I got 29. 

And then my peers got 50+ rank points

And in the end I beat them for promos with 63. 

Wtf happened to me for promos LOL 

I guess it's this endless faith and confidence that I posses. 

Which I only come to realise now

But this very trait can lead to my downfall

It's the very reason why I absolutely suck in relationships

My expectations are beyond an attainable level

Which makes me feel dissatisfied with everything or anything.

And when I questioned my opinions I started to get annoyed cause I could actually prove to myself that my expectations were reasonable. 

In many ways it's impossible to surprise me..

And thus if if if I were to enter a relationship thousands of years down the road.

I henceforth must always have the same mentality I had before I validate that person to be my boyfriend. 

Yes I gotta remember !!!!!! 

Haha okay time to study my dears

June holidays can make miracles work as long as you put your mind to it. 

Byeee!!

I'm feeling bored alr 

Was so looking forward to holidays but now I'm just BOREDDD 

Hahaha wish there was school without lessons

Whatever~ time to study then

Omg just kill me now I want to sleep so badly 

1am 

I have been doing so much these past few days 

Gp turned out slightly better than I expected 

I feel a bit relieved

It's like you know you did a better paper somehow 

Of course gp is so so so so much more unpredictable unlike science subjects 

But I think I did okay!!! I think I passed which is something which doesn't come easy to me ! Sighpie 

I'm working out more lately too. 

Wa the feeling when your face sweat is just like COOL YO

Cause cheek fats are the hardest fats to lose. 

And my cheeks are like two big pieces of meat 

Kekeke I just slept and woke up

Good morning people !!!!!!!

I wanna go back to sleep

Anyway I should finally post about what I wanted to post about

Which is relationships

CHANG CHANG CHAAAANG !!!

yesterday I met Ranice on the way home and she gave me a new insight 

She told me that

Every two people value different things and show affection differently

One is by contact

Two quality time

Three simply the character mutual understanding. Similar thinking. Like the personality and presence is enough to attract you 

And a lot of other methods !!!!!!!

But this is all she could remember hehe

And then I was thinking 

Where was I under ???

For many many couples it's pretty obvious 

Some couples those you see on the mrt PDA ing is clearly showing affection by contact. Jingyi Qi hua too. 

But some couples like Lynn and jonny they used value the most about each other through mutual personalities. Not contact definitely.

And then there are couples like the one recently formed around me hahaha

They value quality time together the most. 

Each category has their own pros and cons really. 

Every body treasure their own ways 

But let me give my perspective on it k hehe

Physical contact is a BAD way of treasuring the relationship

Yes it can be the most direct and easiest method of showing affection.

But it can also be very shallow and it's really on the surface type of bond

That being said its not like couples shouldn't hold hands or something

They just shouldn't depend on that to bond cause clearly It won't last long. To me I think !! It's like there's no real basis 

Now mutual attraction and by character. Or quality time . Both I think it's really important

If that person character doesn't attract you in the first place.. Don't freaking enter a relationship with that person just out of habit, sympathy or love for the feeling of being loved.

Cause that's what I did.. Which I deeply regret. 

I think a relationship is better when the guy and girl both fall for each other

And not like the guy chase the girl and the girl didn't fall for the guy until a lot of time has passed and a lot of memories made and then.... The girl wasn't attracted to his character in the first place.

I used think that contact was important tho. But I realized that if there's no initial attraction. No quality quality not quantity time spent together.. A relationship will fall apart eventually. 

Hehehehe 

OKAY IT'S JUNE HOLIDAYS IM DAMN HAPPY!!

Amanda
Andrea
Andrew
Azrina
Camellia
Cheryl
Chingwei
Chuxuan
Chloe
Daniel
Jason
Jeidy
Jiayi
Jieling
Jingci
Jingwen
Jodie
Joey
Jolene
Karmen
Keita
Keni
Lin
Liyin
lucy
Lynn
Madeline
Minghui
Muntat
Munyee
Nicole
Pearlyn
Pearlyn senior
Rachel
Radiance
Rebecca
Reine
Regena
sebastian
Shuyun
Siewyi
Simin
Siumin
Sin yi
Vernice
Weijun
Winnie
Xavier
Yukei
Zoey