Hehehe

No but it's not something happy LOL

Probably my last serious post k hehe

It's about parents and happiness. 

In sec 2 I got bullied by a slut (literally slut) and I had a gangster boyfriend. 

Almost all my friends shunned away from me and the dude I depended on sucked.

It got so bad I wanted to kill myself and I was planning to. 

Took a scissors. Sat on the toilet floor. 

Even when the scissors grazed my skin I felt like this was my only key to happiness. Death was freedom to my unhappiness. Feeling physical pain felt like it would make my life more bearable. cause physical pain is something you can deal with.. much better than rejection. 

It was also a type of revenge I wanted to give the slut and bastard. Like if I died.. Everyone would blame her and maybe more people will know the truth. 

Eventually I didn't hahaha 

Which explains my presence. 

But I didn't cause my mama kept complaining to me that I was using the toilet for too long. Like I sat there for an hour with a scissors. 

And my girlfriend texted me to go out. A girlfriend who betrayed me. Nevertheless still my friend who loves me right now.

Eventually I left the toilet wondering if I made the right choice by staying alive. 

Going to school to face all the shit. 

The very same shit which made me feel like I couldn't live on anymore. 

I was unstable. 

Cried to my parents without telling them anything. 

And I told them I didn't want to go school.

Which of course they allowed seeing their child on the edge of hysteria.

I think it was then on I started my habit of ponning school for the sake of my personal well being.

Sometimes school is really tiring. Not cuz of studies... But it's the social aspect of schools. 

Bullying isn't as easy to get over really. 

First you will wonder what's wrong with you. 

And then you will start to realise things about yourself that people dislike.

Your self esteem plunges. 

I longed to be accepted cause I didn't even know that slut was bullying me... You would think everything is going on in your mind. People avoiding you. Walking away from you. Whispering in front of you. 

Some parts of you refuse to believe it's true. Maybe cause I thought I could be loved by my friends like how my parents loved me. Maybe it's cause I couldn't see anything wrong about myself.. I couldn't see why they shunned from me. 

And then when you realise that there is someone in existence who really sincerely hates you.. And more people are disliking you... 

I felt so worthless. 

Like if I died.... Maybe people could find my value?

Maybe people would blame her? 

Maybe no one would even realise and no tears would be shed.

Either ways... Death was freedom from my problems.

Of course not forgetting the part that 2 years later everyone knew that slut as a slut cause she sent her bikini shots or topless shots to guys.

Hahaha and kinda lost almost every friend except for one who was utterly outcasted as well~~~ 

Took me a while to try to recall my memories at that point of them cause for now I feel nothing but thankful for everything I have hehe

Now my life is awesome.

I have a steady clique which I don't need to put in effort to bond. To include. And I won't feel left out even if I stay silent for months hehe. 

I have a strong family. Parents utterly irrevocably in love with each other. 

And a loving sister who's nice to me as long as she's not groggy~ 

Okay maybe I've downplayed my sister's importance to me. 

She's really really really really important. 

Like at night both of us will laugh and joke together. Sing song together. I will tell her about my interesting stuffs in school and we will have our own private jokes which are really strange LOL 

And perhaps the best part of my family is this knowledge that the comfort I've gained from them will last as long as I live. 

Lynn vernice Jonathan radiance and even other less close friends tho still very important.... They are my second family. The ones I can depend on permanently without a blood bond.

It's because of Lynn and Jon that I was able to survive sec 2. Lynn took me in and Jon will talk to me. 

I always believe that a person do not live in vain as long as that person has impacted a life. Be it a friend or even a stranger. 

And it was the two of them whom I knew will never ever forget me and let me go... I kept holding on.

Sometimes depression can get so bad you forget to look up. 

Feels like you're in this hole of sadness and everything around you is inconsequential. I found it hard to laugh. Found it hard to appreciate things in life. Particularly cause my life sucked lol~ 

But a friends presence can remind you of all the good things there is in life. Some of which they have experienced which you have yet to experience 

Nevertheless it's always things that life has to offer. 

Your choice to grab the opportunity really.

Anyways the beautiful thing in my life is probably my friends and family.

Woodlands buddy. 

Gay okay. 

And how much I know I have done good.

My studies are average~ 50 days more. Somehow I always have this unlimited confidence in my abilities. 

Hahahahhaaha 

But my whole main point about this post is.... 

After going through so much.

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW CAN PEOPLE GET ANGRY WITH ONE ANOTHER OVER SMALL THINGS!!!!!! 

I mean you are blessed enough for having peace but YOU'RE SHOUTING CAUSE MY PARENTS BOUGHT VEGE FOR YOU INSTEAD OF CHICKEN???

Dude no parent is born to serve you

Every parent have an option to DUMP their child at one side the moment they are born. Cause the truth is every child is a BURDEN

Every parent have to change their LIFE for the child. 

But guess what? The moment you're born your parents SWORE to themselves that they will always take care of you this burden. 

They clothe you. Feed you. Bathe you. Listen to your woes. And even WORK HARD for you. If they didn't have to provide for you they would probably be living a damn luxurious life right now. But they paid for your every need. 

Can you ever imagine having a friend who believe that their sole focus is for you, your comfort, your education, your happiness. 

Of course we can be like... Our parents gave birth to us. They have the responsibility of taking care of us. 

Dude THOUSANDS of parents ABANDONED their child. You could have been one of them. 

And I'm not just talking about my dear sister. I'm talking about every ungrateful child. 

It's appalling how there are so many teenagers who are whining over their parents behavior. 

Not giving them what they want. 

Your parents have the CHOICE TO ABANDON YOU. But they choose to bring you up. You owe them.

Keep that in mind before complaining about the wrong actions they do FOR YOU. 

Okay now that that part is ranted. 

The other part is how I don't understand people can get extremely annoyed so easily.

Yes yes of course I get annoyed too. But I let it go cause the intention is not to harm. It was harmless. 

Trust me this part has no particular reference to any situation around me. 

But maybe it's cause there are more people that are experiencing it? 

When you had someone who bullied you. Intention was to harm you for weeks and weeks.

Feeling annoyed over the little things in life just seems .... Pointless. 

No one's intention is to harm people. (Unless you're a slut)

Yes sometimes the things they do are wrong. But they didn't mean to. It was accidental. A result of their actions...

The last thing they truly want is to make you upset. You could have been like them too.

So

Do you tell them? 

Do you remember it forever and ever? 

Do you get angry with them? 

Which brings me back to my point.

Happiness is a comparison. 

Why is it that a poor man's idea of happiness is to have enough food and money to survive. While a rich man who has attained this "happiness" is unhappy?

Is it really because like what everyone say... the rich man in ungrateful? Unappreciative? 

Greedy??

It isn't. 

It's because he does not know how to appreciate what he has. He hasn't gone through anything worse in his life. His version of worst moment in his life might be inability to get a wife... (Which is bad really in the the modern world.)

But if you compare it with a dude in a third world country... Struggling to even live.. The rich man would have attained "happiness" in his eyes.

Happiness is a comparison. It's the benchmark we create to see if something is worth being happy about or not. 

If you have gone through worse things in your life.. You would be happy when you're problem free.

Whereares if you have gone through almost nothing significant in your life.. You would be unhappy over the smallest things.

The flaw in humans is that we can only see things from our own perspective. 

It's hard to sympathize without going through the problems. 

It's not that people are unappreciative of things (even tho some are) 

It's not that people take it for granted..

Most people just don't know how to be appreciative for something that is embedded in their lives every single day since they were born.

Don't make the same mistake.

Cherish what you have before it's gone.

Learn from people's experiences so that you don't have to go through the same feelings. 

Maybe...

That's the reason why I feel happy. Cause everything else that happened to me was so much worse. 

When you compare my past to my present... It's poles apart. 

Its the same reason why I can't stay angry at friends for long. 

When you compare someone's accidental actions towards you... And someone intending to hurt you.. 

It's impossible to get angry at the innocent. 

It's also the same reason why a lot of my friends who have divorced parents are much happier than the rest. 

Is it really cause they are living a happier life? 

It's not.! 

It's because they have gone through worse. 

How much you let your problems scar you will be how much you will grow after the whole ordeal.

If you wanna be bochap and not give a crap about the entire situation ... Chances are you're not gonna be affected by things. You're not gonna learn things. You're not gonna grow as a person. 

If people are annoyed with you. Do you choose to ignore them.? Or find out what's wrong? 

Clearly if you ignore and choose to be oblivious... chances are... There will be other people who will be annoyed with you in the future. 

If you let their words affect you. And you change for the better. The same problem will never repeat again.

And then there will be the minority after reading that paragraph who say "I won't change my personality for people."

It's not about losing yourself... It's about making yourself better. You can still be you. Have your personality. Be happy and funny and weird sometimes. You will find friends who love you. But there are some things that we shouldn't breach. Cause at times your actions hurt your friends. Do you really want that to go on? Continue hurting people until they decide to dump you and you will move on to another friend? Don't blame the world if the world doesn't accept you. Blame yourself for making the world dislike you. 

Of course that's only with the condition that your world isn't made up of idiots~

Anyways I think I spent two hours typing this LOL

Next few posts are gonna be really happy !!!!!!!

Hehehehehehehe 

I'm meeting Lynn and Chloe cause both of them happened to be free now while my schools mates are taking physics LOL

PLAY WARCRAFT HEHEHE

EXCITED !!!!

Bye !!!!!!!

Hehehe

No but it's not something happy LOL

Probably my last serious post k hehe

It's about parents and happiness. 

In sec 2 I got bullied by a slut (literally slut) and I had a gangster boyfriend. 

Almost all my friends shunned away from me and the dude I depended on sucked.

It got so bad I wanted to kill myself and I was planning to. 

Took a scissors. Sat on the toilet floor. 

Even when the scissors grazed my skin I felt like this was my only key to happiness. Death was freedom to my unhappiness. Feeling physical pain felt like it would make my life more bearable. cause physical pain is something you can deal with.. much better than rejection. 

It was also a type of revenge I wanted to give the slut and bastard. Like if I died.. Everyone would blame her and maybe more people will know the truth. 

Eventually I didn't hahaha 

Which explains my presence. 

But I didn't cause my mama kept complaining to me that I was using the toilet for too long. Like I sat there for an hour with a scissors. 

And my girlfriend texted me to go out. A girlfriend who betrayed me. Nevertheless still my friend who loves me right now.

Eventually I left the toilet wondering if I made the right choice by staying alive. 

Going to school to face all the shit. 

The very same shit which made me feel like I couldn't live on anymore. 

I was unstable. 

Cried to my parents without telling them anything. 

And I told them I didn't want to go school.

Which of course they allowed seeing their child on the edge of hysteria.

I think it was then on I started my habit of ponning school for the sake of my personal well being.

Sometimes school is really tiring. Not cuz of studies... But it's the social aspect of schools. 

Bullying isn't as easy to get over really. 

First you will wonder what's wrong with you. 

And then you will start to realise things about yourself that people dislike.

Your self esteem plunges. 

I longed to be accepted cause I didn't even know that slut was bullying me... You would think everything is going on in your mind. People avoiding you. Walking away from you. Whispering in front of you. 

Some parts of you refuse to believe it's true. Maybe cause I thought I could be loved by my friends like how my parents loved me. Maybe it's cause I couldn't see anything wrong about myself.. I couldn't see why they shunned from me. 

And then when you realise that there is someone in existence who really sincerely hates you.. And more people are disliking you... 

I felt so worthless. 

Like if I died.... Maybe people could find my value?

Maybe people would blame her? 

Maybe no one would even realise and no tears would be shed.

Either ways... Death was freedom from my problems.

Of course not forgetting the part that 2 years later everyone knew that slut as a slut cause she sent her bikini shots or topless shots to guys.

Hahaha and kinda lost almost every friend except for one who was utterly outcasted as well~~~ 

Took me a while to try to recall my memories at that point of them cause for now I feel nothing but thankful for everything I have hehe

Now my life is awesome.

I have a steady clique which I don't need to put in effort to bond. To include. And I won't feel left out even if I stay silent for months hehe. 

I have a strong family. Parents utterly irrevocably in love with each other. 

And a loving sister who's nice to me as long as she's not groggy~ 

Okay maybe I've downplayed my sister's importance to me. 

She's really really really really important. 

Like at night both of us will laugh and joke together. Sing song together. I will tell her about my interesting stuffs in school and we will have our own private jokes which are really strange LOL 

And perhaps the best part of my family is this knowledge that the comfort I've gained from them will last as long as I live. 

Lynn vernice Jonathan radiance and even other less close friends tho still very important.... They are my second family. The ones I can depend on permanently without a blood bond.

It's because of Lynn and Jon that I was able to survive sec 2. Lynn took me in and Jon will talk to me. 

I always believe that a person do not live in vain as long as that person has impacted a life. Be it a friend or even a stranger. 

And it was the two of them whom I knew will never ever forget me and let me go... I kept holding on.

Sometimes depression can get so bad you forget to look up. 

Feels like you're in this hole of sadness and everything around you is inconsequential. I found it hard to laugh. Found it hard to appreciate things in life. Particularly cause my life sucked lol~ 

But a friends presence can remind you of all the good things there is in life. Some of which they have experienced which you have yet to experience 

Nevertheless it's always things that life has to offer. 

Your choice to grab the opportunity really.

Anyways the beautiful thing in my life is probably my friends and family.

Woodlands buddy. 

Gay okay. 

And how much I know I have done good.

My studies are average~ 50 days more. Somehow I always have this unlimited confidence in my abilities. 

Hahahahhaaha 

But my whole main point about this post is.... 

After going through so much.

I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW CAN PEOPLE GET ANGRY WITH ONE ANOTHER OVER SMALL THINGS!!!!!! 

I mean you are blessed enough for having peace but YOU'RE SHOUTING CAUSE MY PARENTS BOUGHT VEGE FOR YOU INSTEAD OF CHICKEN???

Dude no parent is born to serve you

Every parent have an option to DUMP their child at one side the moment they are born. Cause the truth is every child is a BURDEN

Every parent have to change their LIFE for the child. 

But guess what? The moment you're born your parents SWORE to themselves that they will always take care of you this burden. 

They clothe you. Feed you. Bathe you. Listen to your woes. And even WORK HARD for you. If they didn't have to provide for you they would probably be living a damn luxurious life right now. But they paid for your every need. 

Can you ever imagine having a friend who believe that their sole focus is for you, your comfort, your education, your happiness. 

Of course we can be like... Our parents gave birth to us. They have the responsibility of taking care of us. 

Dude THOUSANDS of parents ABANDONED their child. You could have been one of them. 

And I'm not just talking about my dear sister. I'm talking about every ungrateful child. 

It's appalling how there are so many teenagers who are whining over their parents behavior. 

Not giving them what they want. 

Your parents have the CHOICE TO ABANDON YOU. But they choose to bring you up. You owe them.

Keep that in mind before complaining about the wrong actions they do FOR YOU. 

Okay now that that part is ranted. 

The other part is how I don't understand people can get extremely annoyed so easily.

Yes yes of course I get annoyed too. But I let it go cause the intention is not to harm. It was harmless. 

Trust me this part has no particular reference to any situation around me. 

But maybe it's cause there are more people that are experiencing it? 

When you had someone who bullied you. Intention was to harm you for weeks and weeks.

Feeling annoyed over the little things in life just seems .... Pointless. 

No one's intention is to harm people. (Unless you're a slut)

Yes sometimes the things they do are wrong. But they didn't mean to. It was accidental. A result of their actions...

The last thing they truly want is to make you upset. You could have been like them too.

So

Do you tell them? 

Do you remember it forever and ever? 

Do you get angry with them? 

Which brings me back to my point.

Happiness is a comparison. 

Why is it that a poor man's idea of happiness is to have enough food and money to survive. While a rich man who has attained this "happiness" is unhappy?

Is it really because like what everyone say... the rich man in ungrateful? Unappreciative? 

Greedy??

It isn't. 

It's because he does not know how to appreciate what he has. He hasn't gone through anything worse in his life. His version of worst moment in his life might be inability to get a wife... (Which is bad really in the the modern world.)

But if you compare it with a dude in a third world country... Struggling to even live.. The rich man would have attained "happiness" in his eyes.

Happiness is a comparison. It's the benchmark we create to see if something is worth being happy about or not. 

If you have gone through worse things in your life.. You would be happy when you're problem free.

Whereares if you have gone through almost nothing significant in your life.. You would be unhappy over the smallest things.

The flaw in humans is that we can only see things from our own perspective. 

It's hard to sympathize without going through the problems. 

It's not that people are unappreciative of things (even tho some are) 

It's not that people take it for granted..

Most people just don't know how to be appreciative for something that is embedded in their lives every single day since they were born.

Don't make the same mistake.

Cherish what you have before it's gone.

Learn from people's experiences so that you don't have to go through the same feelings. 

Maybe...

That's the reason why I feel happy. Cause everything else that happened to me was so much worse. 

When you compare my past to my present... It's poles apart. 

Its the same reason why I can't stay angry at friends for long. 

When you compare someone's accidental actions towards you... And someone intending to hurt you.. 

It's impossible to get angry at the innocent. 

It's also the same reason why a lot of my friends who have divorced parents are much happier than the rest. 

Is it really cause they are living a happier life? 

It's not.! 

It's because they have gone through worse. 

How much you let your problems scar you will be how much you will grow after the whole ordeal.

If you wanna be bochap and not give a crap about the entire situation ... Chances are you're not gonna be affected by things. You're not gonna learn things. You're not gonna grow as a person. 

If people are annoyed with you. Do you choose to ignore them.? Or find out what's wrong? 

Clearly if you ignore and choose to be oblivious... chances are... There will be other people who will be annoyed with you in the future. 

If you let their words affect you. And you change for the better. The same problem will never repeat again.

And then there will be the minority after reading that paragraph who say "I won't change my personality for people."

It's not about losing yourself... It's about making yourself better. You can still be you. Have your personality. Be happy and funny and weird sometimes. You will find friends who love you. But there are some things that we shouldn't breach. Cause at times your actions hurt your friends. Do you really want that to go on? Continue hurting people until they decide to dump you and you will move on to another friend? Don't blame the world if the world doesn't accept you. Blame yourself for making the world dislike you. 

Of course that's only with the condition that your world isn't made up of idiots~

Anyways I think I spent two hours typing this LOL

Next few posts are gonna be really happy !!!!!!!

Hehehehehehehe 

I'm meeting Lynn and Chloe cause both of them happened to be free now while my schools mates are taking physics LOL

PLAY WARCRAFT HEHEHE

EXCITED !!!!

Bye !!!!!!!

Amanda
Andrea
Andrew
Azrina
Camellia
Cheryl
Chingwei
Chuxuan
Chloe
Daniel
Jason
Jeidy
Jiayi
Jieling
Jingci
Jingwen
Jodie
Joey
Jolene
Karmen
Keita
Keni
Lin
Liyin
lucy
Lynn
Madeline
Minghui
Muntat
Munyee
Nicole
Pearlyn
Pearlyn senior
Rachel
Radiance
Rebecca
Reine
Regena
sebastian
Shuyun
Siewyi
Simin
Siumin
Sin yi
Vernice
Weijun
Winnie
Xavier
Yukei
Zoey