Everyone shows affections differently.

Friends show how they care differently. 

Are you gonna wait for them to show you affections your way as prove to yourself that they love you.? 

Or are you gonna take their actions as their own special ways of showing their love and appreciate them for loving you. 

I was such a fooool. 

I used to think that my parents not giving hugs meant that they didn't love me enough. 

I used to think that my sister indifference to me meant that she didn't care. 

There were times I thought a boyf didn't care (even tho sometimes I really think he didn't hahahaha)

I used to think that when a friend didn't talk to me I would be forgotten. 

Now after more friends have taught me. I learnt :)) but now I see another friend thinking my old way too...

It's not like that..

There are so many unspoken words 

Words that could have been said... 

Maybe stopped by pride? Or ignorance. 

But it doesn't mean they don't care.

Sometimes it's because they don't know how to care. 

Judge their actions by their standards. 

Not your own. 

Somethings that are little to you might be a lot to them. Are you gonna dismiss their efforts carelessly.?

everyone's different.

And this way... We can all appreciate things better :)

Either that or it's pyschological 

Or it's cause I've matured. 

I sat on my table 

Afraid of the uncertainties of my future 

Only absolutely sure that I won't do well for As 

Clearly upset. 

Cried 

And now I feel better !!!!!!

Hehe 

It's instantaneous

My friend asked me why I don't complain about studies. 

I think it's cause I've gone through worse.

BUT im still a very emotional person 

So I have to release my stress somewhere 

Which is through tears!!! For like a few minutes 

And emerge as good as new

Hehe

I really think it's a good ability

Like eating the health potion. 

Have to learn to Handle stress well cause life is waaaayyy more than this.

I love my friends 

I love the gays

I love the woodland buddies

I love my class 

I miss the dancers but I love them 

Talking to all of them make me happy

Today I talked to at least one person from each group 

So I'm happy 

And today is a Friday

I can sleep!!!!!! 

Hehe 

I don't know why I feel happy

I feel contented 

Maybe 

It's cause I'm starting to have a new eye candy

Kekekekeekekekekeke

Don't worry it's just gonna be an eye candy. 

Today was nice

The jurong library that I'm usually alone in was infiltrated by vernice ken Julian

And they made jurong library happier for me !!!

And my papa drove me home ! 

And I talked to more people ! 

And I attempted acjc prelim paper today cause Theresia made it compulsory

I don't even know why I'm happy 

But I am 

Okay must sleep early tonight :) 

I love you everybody

Thanks for making my life perfect to me <3

What's best is that I'm sure I will have more perfect moments after As !!!!

The trigger was simple. I wondered if I was ever dependent on a life sustaining machine. Would I want my parents to let me "live" or let me "die"

The answer was clear of course. I would rather "die"

For starters if I'm solely dependent on a life sustaining machine I'm already dead anyway. But looking deeper into that... I know the feeling of waiting for something that will never come. 

It's slow death, pure torture. Holding on to the shred of hope that you could be the exception. That I can be a miracle. 

Plus It would hurt me knowing that my parents are waiting and waiting for their lifetime for their child to return to them. 

And if I wanna overdramatize things... I could be in the same room watching them watching me. 

Plus I love them and I owe them far too much than I can ever repay. So if there are ever spirits. I will stay by hook or by crook and watch over them until one day they will join me when they have lived to a ripe old age. 

Anyways 

Then I asked myself if I will die with regrets.

The answer is no.

Every action I have done is with my happiness in mind. 

Be it actions due to naivety 

Actions out of guilt

Actions out of kindness 

Actions due to ignorance

Actions due to selfishness

Actions to carry out my duty to my family

Actions for my future

Granted there were actions that led to unprecedented consequences. 

But hey if a person don't make mistakes how does she learn?

Now that I'm 18.. 

I know now that I know nothing.

I am aware of the existence of people suffering worse than me. But I am aware that I will never be able to understand their feelings until I've felt it for myself.

I have an ambition for my future. 

Something that I would hold dear to me for a lifetime. 

With my current abilities now I know I have no means of attaining it. 

As I succumb to short lived happiness I know I'm sacrificing my opportunity to make my life worthy to me. 

I am a child. Learning. Growing. 

Struggling. 

I pray for guidance from above.

Yet I believe it's my responsibility to suffer now so that I can Achieve life long happiness 

Question is ... Do I have that determination?

Alevels is strangling me

I can't play. 

And when I do I feel so horrible.

A productive day makes me happy. 

But in order to be productive I need to reject my wants. 

It's just how much you can motivate yourself to think long term

I don't know why my discipline is so bad

I feel like I hate myself for this

And if I don't get my goal.. I will feel so miserable

Alevels is like slow death.

I have to get down and do this.. 

Econs and gp is just horrible :((((((( 

Okay above all ... everything will be ending in two months

You think I can find solace in that? 

No I can't.

I'm scared. 

Everyone shows affections differently.

Friends show how they care differently. 

Are you gonna wait for them to show you affections your way as prove to yourself that they love you.? 

Or are you gonna take their actions as their own special ways of showing their love and appreciate them for loving you. 

I was such a fooool. 

I used to think that my parents not giving hugs meant that they didn't love me enough. 

I used to think that my sister indifference to me meant that she didn't care. 

There were times I thought a boyf didn't care (even tho sometimes I really think he didn't hahahaha)

I used to think that when a friend didn't talk to me I would be forgotten. 

Now after more friends have taught me. I learnt :)) but now I see another friend thinking my old way too...

It's not like that..

There are so many unspoken words 

Words that could have been said... 

Maybe stopped by pride? Or ignorance. 

But it doesn't mean they don't care.

Sometimes it's because they don't know how to care. 

Judge their actions by their standards. 

Not your own. 

Somethings that are little to you might be a lot to them. Are you gonna dismiss their efforts carelessly.?

everyone's different.

And this way... We can all appreciate things better :)

Either that or it's pyschological 

Or it's cause I've matured. 

I sat on my table 

Afraid of the uncertainties of my future 

Only absolutely sure that I won't do well for As 

Clearly upset. 

Cried 

And now I feel better !!!!!!

Hehe 

It's instantaneous

My friend asked me why I don't complain about studies. 

I think it's cause I've gone through worse.

BUT im still a very emotional person 

So I have to release my stress somewhere 

Which is through tears!!! For like a few minutes 

And emerge as good as new

Hehe

I really think it's a good ability

Like eating the health potion. 

Have to learn to Handle stress well cause life is waaaayyy more than this.

I love my friends 

I love the gays

I love the woodland buddies

I love my class 

I miss the dancers but I love them 

Talking to all of them make me happy

Today I talked to at least one person from each group 

So I'm happy 

And today is a Friday

I can sleep!!!!!! 

Hehe 

I don't know why I feel happy

I feel contented 

Maybe 

It's cause I'm starting to have a new eye candy

Kekekekeekekekekeke

Don't worry it's just gonna be an eye candy. 

Today was nice

The jurong library that I'm usually alone in was infiltrated by vernice ken Julian

And they made jurong library happier for me !!!

And my papa drove me home ! 

And I talked to more people ! 

And I attempted acjc prelim paper today cause Theresia made it compulsory

I don't even know why I'm happy 

But I am 

Okay must sleep early tonight :) 

I love you everybody

Thanks for making my life perfect to me <3

What's best is that I'm sure I will have more perfect moments after As !!!!

The trigger was simple. I wondered if I was ever dependent on a life sustaining machine. Would I want my parents to let me "live" or let me "die"

The answer was clear of course. I would rather "die"

For starters if I'm solely dependent on a life sustaining machine I'm already dead anyway. But looking deeper into that... I know the feeling of waiting for something that will never come. 

It's slow death, pure torture. Holding on to the shred of hope that you could be the exception. That I can be a miracle. 

Plus It would hurt me knowing that my parents are waiting and waiting for their lifetime for their child to return to them. 

And if I wanna overdramatize things... I could be in the same room watching them watching me. 

Plus I love them and I owe them far too much than I can ever repay. So if there are ever spirits. I will stay by hook or by crook and watch over them until one day they will join me when they have lived to a ripe old age. 

Anyways 

Then I asked myself if I will die with regrets.

The answer is no.

Every action I have done is with my happiness in mind. 

Be it actions due to naivety 

Actions out of guilt

Actions out of kindness 

Actions due to ignorance

Actions due to selfishness

Actions to carry out my duty to my family

Actions for my future

Granted there were actions that led to unprecedented consequences. 

But hey if a person don't make mistakes how does she learn?

Now that I'm 18.. 

I know now that I know nothing.

I am aware of the existence of people suffering worse than me. But I am aware that I will never be able to understand their feelings until I've felt it for myself.

I have an ambition for my future. 

Something that I would hold dear to me for a lifetime. 

With my current abilities now I know I have no means of attaining it. 

As I succumb to short lived happiness I know I'm sacrificing my opportunity to make my life worthy to me. 

I am a child. Learning. Growing. 

Struggling. 

I pray for guidance from above.

Yet I believe it's my responsibility to suffer now so that I can Achieve life long happiness 

Question is ... Do I have that determination?

Alevels is strangling me

I can't play. 

And when I do I feel so horrible.

A productive day makes me happy. 

But in order to be productive I need to reject my wants. 

It's just how much you can motivate yourself to think long term

I don't know why my discipline is so bad

I feel like I hate myself for this

And if I don't get my goal.. I will feel so miserable

Alevels is like slow death.

I have to get down and do this.. 

Econs and gp is just horrible :((((((( 

Okay above all ... everything will be ending in two months

You think I can find solace in that? 

No I can't.

I'm scared. 

Amanda
Andrea
Andrew
Azrina
Camellia
Cheryl
Chingwei
Chuxuan
Chloe
Daniel
Jason
Jeidy
Jiayi
Jieling
Jingci
Jingwen
Jodie
Joey
Jolene
Karmen
Keita
Keni
Lin
Liyin
lucy
Lynn
Madeline
Minghui
Muntat
Munyee
Nicole
Pearlyn
Pearlyn senior
Rachel
Radiance
Rebecca
Reine
Regena
sebastian
Shuyun
Siewyi
Simin
Siumin
Sin yi
Vernice
Weijun
Winnie
Xavier
Yukei
Zoey