And ... I just completed two books within a span of 30 hours? met up with 3 different groups of friends. Surviving with less than 10hours of sleep for both nights while I usually need 8 per night. 

My thoughts ain't coherent. 

Especially when I'm typing this at 3am.. 

Which would make this my third night staying up later than 2am, something my body and my complexion clearly isn't accustomed to. 

But I do have some thoughts I want to "pen" down. 

Can't afford to go In depth due to my fatigue, but sufficient enough to give me a peace of mind as I lay my head tonight.

Sometimes it's scary how much stories can affect me. How much I am deeply in love with history, accounts, interviews, analysation. 

I remember my best moment in Europe.. It wasn't branded bags. Or catching a tourmate stealing glances heh. Neither was it going overseas with my family. Particularly cause I don't think I was as close to them as I am right now. 

It was the streets of Europe. 

I was in France. Italy. Both seems real similar. Except for Switzerland which was covered with snow.

I saw the streets come alive from people's memories. Almost 50-100 years ago.. horse carriages as cars. Fur coats instead of feathers. Long coats that girls wore. Some until their shin.

They walked past, smiling, purchasing, waving, treating. 

I was spellbound as this repeated at every junction. How people walked, behaved. How crimes may have been committed at the very same spot years ago, purely out of desperation. 

I would think my very weakness and perhaps my strength is growing accustomed to something. 

I latch on to things too readily. And as much as it scares me. It helps me too. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Haha okay it's 2am now on the next night cause I fell asleep. I mean I was even surprised I could recount anything with my fatigue. 

Enough of sounding serious hahahahaha

Don't have the feel of seriousness today LOL 

Oh but one thing is interesting. 

This idea of freedom was glorified back in the 20th century. Simply cause there was so little freedom then. So much oppression. Deaths murders purges. Police killing indiscrimately. 

Freedom saved them. 

The problem is... 

Freedom is abused now. 

My own perspective really. I'm pretty sure there are many who disagree. 

From supporters of hackers to supporters of opposition. 

Especially political division. 

The very idea of freedom led US to it's state today, an utterly equally divided inefficient government who threaten each other using the country itself. I can't say I know absolutely everything about the situation between Obama and Boehner or even the previous government shutdowns that occurred on a much smaller scale. But I did read up on it... Being the strange person I am. Read up about actions taken, both perspectives. Both hidden agendas. It was ridiculous really, the lives of the poorer Americans in the hands of political leaders who would do anything to gain more power in the white housee.

Yes the country thrived on freedom decades ago... But that was before they became overconceited. In the past their main objective was to have human rights since it was abused so badly back then. If not in US, then it would be in other countries under an absolute leader. 

But now, there are more people asking for more rights more rights. 

Especially in Singapore. 

What if we measure the consequences of giving too much rights to people vs too little rights given? 

K first I should define what is too much. 

The extra martial dating site Ashley Madison. 

There are people slamming the government for blocking the site. 

I mean with all due respect your idiots. The sites harms your marriage. Your life. And your future.

 If this is defined as an infringe of personal rights, then the government can switch it around and justify that it's their right to protect their people. 

The next thing that I would touch on would be what everyone knows I guess.

I respect their actions to help people. 

The intention and action is kind. 

But what are the consequences of a law that ban websites ? Is it really so bad? Is it enough to justify their attacks?  

To me what are the consequences of banning certain sites.?

It's Inconsequential. Blocking sites that are not of significance in our everyday lives. Yes there is some disturbance. Annoyance. Possibly propaganda. 

But the bottom line is that there is no real possible harm to our society aside from a "huge" infringement of personal rights. 

Whereares what are the consequences of lifting this ban? I admit I didn't read up as much about it. All I know that it can spark conflict, discord amongst people. Families. Social cohesion etc etc. 

Why are we fighting for rights that isn't an essential need? Is it really worth fighting for? 

There are thousand of people suffering everyday. Not counting those in developing countries. There are many in Singapore itself. People with barely enough money everyday. Older people just waiting to die. I see them in my school, I see them in shopping centers in streets. All as cleaners serving the younger generation by picking up their litter, cleaning up after them. 

Should we really start a conflict with the legislation about certain rights issue? Shouldn't we focus on those who are struggling to survive? It is our previledge to be able to fight for rights.

Yes thought I know that certain things are done wrongly. And for now ... Arguably there is no action that have crossed the line yet. 

But I guess really hope that nothing goes overboard. 

Haha damn I wanted this post to be lighthearted. 

Hungrryyyyyyyyy

I'm making a dance with Gladys after As

And I'm so excited to do it I can't even hold it in. 

And on Wednesday the very day of freedom I'm going to mbs. 

Sometimes I'm just an idiot. 

Hahaha whining about "loneliness" the previous post and the next day I'm going out with two different cliques within the same day. 

And if that's not enough. I met another friend on the next day. 

Today's my only day of "lack of interaction". Well that is if i disrespectfully disregard my parents presence. My mum is the best woman I have ever seen....

She's super cheerful now too I swear she giggles and laugh more than me. Makes her own jokes, jump around, sing to herself. Sometimes I will sing with her and both of us will laugh together. 

And I really love her ability to listen. 

She so open to everything. She asks for my opinion on certain things. She doesn't directly classify my opinion as directly wrong even when she disagree. She understands that everyone have differing opinions and perspective and she's kind enough to accept that. I feel so much closer to my family now that I'm older. Perhaps it's cause when I was young I couldn't sense their love since it was always written in between the lines. 

But now I see it, everyday. And I'm beyond grateful. 

Hehe and I can't wait to go back to dance. Apparently I need to learn the chorus from some kpop song and teach my friends after chem. 

Excited!!!!! 

I'm making a card for my physics teacher too.!!!! A compiled card so I guess it takes a bit of planning. 

Still wondering what color to dye my hair. 

Oh yeah my complexion is improving steadily. 

I got a feeling it correlates to my happiness. 

But sleeping at 3am for three nights straight isn't doing it a favor I guess~ 

In any case.

I guess I'm still insecure sometimes. 

But I'm happy now.! Affairs of the heart will come when they come. 

Meanwhile I shall surround myself with friends cause they love me too hehe

Goodnight :)

Is it human nature? 

Or it's my flaw? 

Or it's just the effects of stress.?

I'm not sure. 

I think is now :( 

There's so much to be uncertain about. 

And I'm cutting off contact with too many people. 

It's really bad :( 

I miss going to school so much. 

Having normal lessons. 

Everyday I will meet my friends. 

And no matter what. Life goes on together with them. 

But now ?

I could very well be frozen in position for one week and no one would realise. 

It's not that I don't have friends or anything like that.. 

I have been meeting them too little

Cut off contact too much. 

And everytime I try to numb myself and forget my loneliness I listen to music and play and end up not doing work at all. 

I feel like I've been robbed off my socializing time. 

Dance time. 

Relaxing time. 

Can't even relax in peace... 

Thank god is the last 3 papers and all these feelings come to me. 

If it came earlier I would probably die during the main Alevel period. 

In the past 

When ever I feel upset cause of something outside school 

Like quarrels. Disagreements. Or simply stress itself

I would see the class and their carefree perspective. 

It's a nice feeling to simply be there and observe. There's no pressure to participate cause I know that even if I don't I won't be excluded. 

And then I would meet random friends along the way. 

Some closer. Some less close. 

And seeing them makes me happy. 

During weekends. 

I would dance 

On Saturday morning it was street dance. 

Saturday afternoon ballet. 

Sunday night ballet again. 

It's total expression of feelings 

There was no time to think of insecurities. 

There was only an aim in my mind which was to do well in dance in ballet and in studies. 

The cycle repeated for one and a half years. 

Which is probably one of my happiest years of my life.! 

And then during stressful times

I would talk to my boyf 

And complain 

And be accepted 

And he would always be there. 

Someone I felt I could depend on forever. 

Even Holidays 

I would read a book. Go out with friends. Play with family. And dance somemore

Right now?? 

Everything is gone :( 

I'm doing nothing sitting in front of my books knowing that every second wasted is an opportunity to get a better grade. 

I'm afraid for my future and I'm afraid of being alone forever. 

But...

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right..? 

A friend told me that I might only be depending on god cause it feels better to depend on someone that be by yourself. 

Which was really a stab stab and it got me thinking even worse stuffs. 

In any case god probably wants me to get through this by myself. 

I'm so glad there's 3 papers left. 

And I'm glad I always have my friends and my family to depend on. 

I will probably be seen as someone who's unappreciative of what she has.

But sometimes I can't stop these fears from entering. 

It's part of loneliness.

And it's so bad I figured I should just blog to stop myself from daydreaming 

One and a half days to go 

What am I doing ?!???!????!??!???? 

Hahahahaha

Cannot la some past memories are just too lovely

Can't believe I daydreamed until back when I'm in sec 1 leh omgggg 

What am I doing 

And then I realised .. I was an IDIOT

Omg

HAHAHAHA I should just go and read my old blog posts in this blog since it started from p6/p5 

Wa but I seriously was an idiot

And then I'm hiding my prom dress from my parents

SHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Cause they don't allow me to buy a prom dress 

Like during Olevels I bought 4 dresses

So I don't really blame them since I have 3 that I haven't worn before

BUT I bought the dress before they nag at me

And it arrived and I'm hiding it in the cupboard

ITS SO CRUMPLEEEEDDDDDD

HAHAHAHA first world problems

But seriously a crumpled prom dress is damn ugly

Vernice keeps telling me my prom dress is pretty 

But I'm like 

The more I look at it the worse it looks

And it's WHITE

I think I suit BLACK

SO ITS WHITE 

NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Hahahahahaha okay I'm being such an idiot here 

I'm still a happy person 

It's just been SO LONG since I've dressed up

Haven't worn something else besides a school shirt and shorts

That's just tragic

No life

Horrible

I think I'm reaching my limit LOL

Two more weeks how do I do thissssssssssssssssssssss

Now that I'm done complaining maybe I can study better 

Oh ya and the whole Alevel paper SUCKSSSSSS

Like totally work to my disadvantage 

I'm seriously considering of retaking

But NO cannot think about it yet

Do well for Econs and McQ then I think about it 

Physics was NOT HUMANLY POSSIBLE

"Give an example of something metallic that possess elastic potential during reality but does not need during deformation and manufacturing?" 

SPRING RIGHTTT

omg 

And then there was simultaneous

SERIOUSLY ???

Physics simultaneous?!

Even chem has no simultaneous

And physics have. 

And then there were other damn weird questions 

Like I DID 5 YEAR TYS AND 5 PRELIM PAPERS OR SO and I've never seen it before. Not even similar 

Okay just 

Kill me now. 

And then chem

Was just...

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

all our strongest subject is chem

The entire NYJC strength is chem

And come out. Easy paper. 

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

and then Maths was hard

And Maths is not my strong subject

Tho I practiced a lot laaaa

Maths is the only ambiguous one I think. 

Okay

Now time to study Econs

Hope I studied enough. 

Long time since I've complained so much in this blog

Hahahahahha 

Trolololololololo

But it's a few more weeks. 

Today Maths is over !!!!! :) 

I feel like I'm at my limits tho 

Never concentrated so hard so much for so long . 

But i will make it worth it. 

Two more days to the end of this important week. 

Chem paper 3 tomorrow.. 

I better score. 

And to anyone out there who feels discouraged ... 

Don't think about previous papers !!!

Just let it go 

Focus on what can be changed :) 

You have the power to change your fate. 

And after this we can play!!!!!! 

Interestingly. 

I'm thankful to god helping me. 

It's a bit strange. 

But I can feel his/her presence.

Hahahaha 

And I'm pretty sure god doesn't have a gender. Probably taking on whatever gender needed. 

In the eyes of god. Every human being is but a child. A child who tried to survive their best way possible. 

I always find that compassion really admirable. Hehe 

But there are somethings that god can't intervene. 

And it's up to us to make thing right. 

Fight for what's worth. 

A few more days :)

I think it's the course I want to go for in uni. 

It will sound nerdy but there's absolutely nothing that can interest me more than the study of politics. 

Of course aside from playing games going out with friends etc etc 

Today I spent 6hours reading terrorism and how countries handled it and I wasn't even bored... Time flew by like whoooooosh

It's the study of level headed human behavior on a grand scale. 

Human behavior is already intriguing on it's own. 

How people behave? Why do that behave? What was the expected behavior? What's with the change? 

It's probably because human behavior is something closely linked to our everyday lives yet it isn't an easy topic to understand. That's why most people turn to psychology. 

Many friends wanna study psychology. 

And I don't dispute that fact. 

Psychology is interesting. 

But it also involves the study of merely individuals. 

And at times... unstable minds. 

Studying the behavior of someone who can't control themselves isn't something that will interest me. It's just like trying to find a systematic error in a random error hehe 

Of course there will be some patterns among every individual. 

But what are the effects? 

The magnitude of impacts from these differing mentalities ?

Maybe that's why political science interest me so much. 

It's the study of analysis in some ways? 

AND another part of political science that really interest me is the true intention behind certain policies. 

All the discrepancies and final deductions. 

Who's GOVERNMENT is lying to an entire country. 

Found a few underlying reasons behind certain policies while studying. 

And i would be thrilled if I am able to study deeper into it. 

But I don't have the time now :( 

And my mama say I can't study political science cause my English isn't good. 

I don't disagree. 

Plus I know that the Singapore education system is capable of transforming any potentially captivating subject into something dry and boring

But... I love the topic so much right now. 

Can't wait to study it after As hehe

Let's go yehlin!!!!!!

I haven't even played that much

Ughhh I feel so ready for life after As

I feel ready to go prom

Go Taiwan

Go uni

Go dance cca 

Okay now gonna conquer what's in front first !!!!!!!!! 

Cause cramps are the worst thing ever 

It varies for person to person. 

Mine apparently it's one of the worst cases. Most affected female award *clapclapclap* 

You would think like

How pain can it be ?

Let's measure the pain against the plain Ol splitting of legs. 

And I'm not flexible so when I split the pain is as pain as anyone else

Errrr

This cramp is probably worse than that

It's so much that I can't even walk straight. 

I mean 30 days I will always forget the pain. 

And wonder like... Aiyah why my pain tolerance so low? Just tolerate what. 

But no

Every 30 days I'm just lying down. 

Paralyzed.

As if I got Tasered by a cop. 

It's not normal. 

Just like when you're feeling pain normally something can be done to relieve it.

But no

The knife just goes deeper and deeper and longer and longer 

And it's almost permanent for many hours. 

Worse than a headache .? 

A long term headache .? 

At least that's in the head. Your body feels fine.

This causes my entire body to be rendered uselessssss.. 

And I feel like puking cause it's too painful.

I don't know why.! 

Sometimes when people feel extreme pain they just puke. 

Or is it just me?

I can feel it in my throat :( 

There was once I really puked by the road side.

Sigh 

This sucks.

I cried again 

Cried while studying again

So scared for what's to come :( 

Every mistake hits me hard 

And my guy friend predicted that I will be crying omg

I didn't even tell..! 

That's so ... Cool but not cool hahaha

Okay I'm sleeping early !!!!

Glad I have ver and Lynn too !

And ... I just completed two books within a span of 30 hours? met up with 3 different groups of friends. Surviving with less than 10hours of sleep for both nights while I usually need 8 per night. 

My thoughts ain't coherent. 

Especially when I'm typing this at 3am.. 

Which would make this my third night staying up later than 2am, something my body and my complexion clearly isn't accustomed to. 

But I do have some thoughts I want to "pen" down. 

Can't afford to go In depth due to my fatigue, but sufficient enough to give me a peace of mind as I lay my head tonight.

Sometimes it's scary how much stories can affect me. How much I am deeply in love with history, accounts, interviews, analysation. 

I remember my best moment in Europe.. It wasn't branded bags. Or catching a tourmate stealing glances heh. Neither was it going overseas with my family. Particularly cause I don't think I was as close to them as I am right now. 

It was the streets of Europe. 

I was in France. Italy. Both seems real similar. Except for Switzerland which was covered with snow.

I saw the streets come alive from people's memories. Almost 50-100 years ago.. horse carriages as cars. Fur coats instead of feathers. Long coats that girls wore. Some until their shin.

They walked past, smiling, purchasing, waving, treating. 

I was spellbound as this repeated at every junction. How people walked, behaved. How crimes may have been committed at the very same spot years ago, purely out of desperation. 

I would think my very weakness and perhaps my strength is growing accustomed to something. 

I latch on to things too readily. And as much as it scares me. It helps me too. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Haha okay it's 2am now on the next night cause I fell asleep. I mean I was even surprised I could recount anything with my fatigue. 

Enough of sounding serious hahahahaha

Don't have the feel of seriousness today LOL 

Oh but one thing is interesting. 

This idea of freedom was glorified back in the 20th century. Simply cause there was so little freedom then. So much oppression. Deaths murders purges. Police killing indiscrimately. 

Freedom saved them. 

The problem is... 

Freedom is abused now. 

My own perspective really. I'm pretty sure there are many who disagree. 

From supporters of hackers to supporters of opposition. 

Especially political division. 

The very idea of freedom led US to it's state today, an utterly equally divided inefficient government who threaten each other using the country itself. I can't say I know absolutely everything about the situation between Obama and Boehner or even the previous government shutdowns that occurred on a much smaller scale. But I did read up on it... Being the strange person I am. Read up about actions taken, both perspectives. Both hidden agendas. It was ridiculous really, the lives of the poorer Americans in the hands of political leaders who would do anything to gain more power in the white housee.

Yes the country thrived on freedom decades ago... But that was before they became overconceited. In the past their main objective was to have human rights since it was abused so badly back then. If not in US, then it would be in other countries under an absolute leader. 

But now, there are more people asking for more rights more rights. 

Especially in Singapore. 

What if we measure the consequences of giving too much rights to people vs too little rights given? 

K first I should define what is too much. 

The extra martial dating site Ashley Madison. 

There are people slamming the government for blocking the site. 

I mean with all due respect your idiots. The sites harms your marriage. Your life. And your future.

 If this is defined as an infringe of personal rights, then the government can switch it around and justify that it's their right to protect their people. 

The next thing that I would touch on would be what everyone knows I guess.

I respect their actions to help people. 

The intention and action is kind. 

But what are the consequences of a law that ban websites ? Is it really so bad? Is it enough to justify their attacks?  

To me what are the consequences of banning certain sites.?

It's Inconsequential. Blocking sites that are not of significance in our everyday lives. Yes there is some disturbance. Annoyance. Possibly propaganda. 

But the bottom line is that there is no real possible harm to our society aside from a "huge" infringement of personal rights. 

Whereares what are the consequences of lifting this ban? I admit I didn't read up as much about it. All I know that it can spark conflict, discord amongst people. Families. Social cohesion etc etc. 

Why are we fighting for rights that isn't an essential need? Is it really worth fighting for? 

There are thousand of people suffering everyday. Not counting those in developing countries. There are many in Singapore itself. People with barely enough money everyday. Older people just waiting to die. I see them in my school, I see them in shopping centers in streets. All as cleaners serving the younger generation by picking up their litter, cleaning up after them. 

Should we really start a conflict with the legislation about certain rights issue? Shouldn't we focus on those who are struggling to survive? It is our previledge to be able to fight for rights.

Yes thought I know that certain things are done wrongly. And for now ... Arguably there is no action that have crossed the line yet. 

But I guess really hope that nothing goes overboard. 

Haha damn I wanted this post to be lighthearted. 

Hungrryyyyyyyyy

I'm making a dance with Gladys after As

And I'm so excited to do it I can't even hold it in. 

And on Wednesday the very day of freedom I'm going to mbs. 

Sometimes I'm just an idiot. 

Hahaha whining about "loneliness" the previous post and the next day I'm going out with two different cliques within the same day. 

And if that's not enough. I met another friend on the next day. 

Today's my only day of "lack of interaction". Well that is if i disrespectfully disregard my parents presence. My mum is the best woman I have ever seen....

She's super cheerful now too I swear she giggles and laugh more than me. Makes her own jokes, jump around, sing to herself. Sometimes I will sing with her and both of us will laugh together. 

And I really love her ability to listen. 

She so open to everything. She asks for my opinion on certain things. She doesn't directly classify my opinion as directly wrong even when she disagree. She understands that everyone have differing opinions and perspective and she's kind enough to accept that. I feel so much closer to my family now that I'm older. Perhaps it's cause when I was young I couldn't sense their love since it was always written in between the lines. 

But now I see it, everyday. And I'm beyond grateful. 

Hehe and I can't wait to go back to dance. Apparently I need to learn the chorus from some kpop song and teach my friends after chem. 

Excited!!!!! 

I'm making a card for my physics teacher too.!!!! A compiled card so I guess it takes a bit of planning. 

Still wondering what color to dye my hair. 

Oh yeah my complexion is improving steadily. 

I got a feeling it correlates to my happiness. 

But sleeping at 3am for three nights straight isn't doing it a favor I guess~ 

In any case.

I guess I'm still insecure sometimes. 

But I'm happy now.! Affairs of the heart will come when they come. 

Meanwhile I shall surround myself with friends cause they love me too hehe

Goodnight :)

Is it human nature? 

Or it's my flaw? 

Or it's just the effects of stress.?

I'm not sure. 

I think is now :( 

There's so much to be uncertain about. 

And I'm cutting off contact with too many people. 

It's really bad :( 

I miss going to school so much. 

Having normal lessons. 

Everyday I will meet my friends. 

And no matter what. Life goes on together with them. 

But now ?

I could very well be frozen in position for one week and no one would realise. 

It's not that I don't have friends or anything like that.. 

I have been meeting them too little

Cut off contact too much. 

And everytime I try to numb myself and forget my loneliness I listen to music and play and end up not doing work at all. 

I feel like I've been robbed off my socializing time. 

Dance time. 

Relaxing time. 

Can't even relax in peace... 

Thank god is the last 3 papers and all these feelings come to me. 

If it came earlier I would probably die during the main Alevel period. 

In the past 

When ever I feel upset cause of something outside school 

Like quarrels. Disagreements. Or simply stress itself

I would see the class and their carefree perspective. 

It's a nice feeling to simply be there and observe. There's no pressure to participate cause I know that even if I don't I won't be excluded. 

And then I would meet random friends along the way. 

Some closer. Some less close. 

And seeing them makes me happy. 

During weekends. 

I would dance 

On Saturday morning it was street dance. 

Saturday afternoon ballet. 

Sunday night ballet again. 

It's total expression of feelings 

There was no time to think of insecurities. 

There was only an aim in my mind which was to do well in dance in ballet and in studies. 

The cycle repeated for one and a half years. 

Which is probably one of my happiest years of my life.! 

And then during stressful times

I would talk to my boyf 

And complain 

And be accepted 

And he would always be there. 

Someone I felt I could depend on forever. 

Even Holidays 

I would read a book. Go out with friends. Play with family. And dance somemore

Right now?? 

Everything is gone :( 

I'm doing nothing sitting in front of my books knowing that every second wasted is an opportunity to get a better grade. 

I'm afraid for my future and I'm afraid of being alone forever. 

But...

What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right..? 

A friend told me that I might only be depending on god cause it feels better to depend on someone that be by yourself. 

Which was really a stab stab and it got me thinking even worse stuffs. 

In any case god probably wants me to get through this by myself. 

I'm so glad there's 3 papers left. 

And I'm glad I always have my friends and my family to depend on. 

I will probably be seen as someone who's unappreciative of what she has.

But sometimes I can't stop these fears from entering. 

It's part of loneliness.

And it's so bad I figured I should just blog to stop myself from daydreaming 

One and a half days to go 

What am I doing ?!???!????!??!???? 

Hahahahaha

Cannot la some past memories are just too lovely

Can't believe I daydreamed until back when I'm in sec 1 leh omgggg 

What am I doing 

And then I realised .. I was an IDIOT

Omg

HAHAHAHA I should just go and read my old blog posts in this blog since it started from p6/p5 

Wa but I seriously was an idiot

And then I'm hiding my prom dress from my parents

SHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Cause they don't allow me to buy a prom dress 

Like during Olevels I bought 4 dresses

So I don't really blame them since I have 3 that I haven't worn before

BUT I bought the dress before they nag at me

And it arrived and I'm hiding it in the cupboard

ITS SO CRUMPLEEEEDDDDDD

HAHAHAHA first world problems

But seriously a crumpled prom dress is damn ugly

Vernice keeps telling me my prom dress is pretty 

But I'm like 

The more I look at it the worse it looks

And it's WHITE

I think I suit BLACK

SO ITS WHITE 

NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Hahahahahaha okay I'm being such an idiot here 

I'm still a happy person 

It's just been SO LONG since I've dressed up

Haven't worn something else besides a school shirt and shorts

That's just tragic

No life

Horrible

I think I'm reaching my limit LOL

Two more weeks how do I do thissssssssssssssssssssss

Now that I'm done complaining maybe I can study better 

Oh ya and the whole Alevel paper SUCKSSSSSS

Like totally work to my disadvantage 

I'm seriously considering of retaking

But NO cannot think about it yet

Do well for Econs and McQ then I think about it 

Physics was NOT HUMANLY POSSIBLE

"Give an example of something metallic that possess elastic potential during reality but does not need during deformation and manufacturing?" 

SPRING RIGHTTT

omg 

And then there was simultaneous

SERIOUSLY ???

Physics simultaneous?!

Even chem has no simultaneous

And physics have. 

And then there were other damn weird questions 

Like I DID 5 YEAR TYS AND 5 PRELIM PAPERS OR SO and I've never seen it before. Not even similar 

Okay just 

Kill me now. 

And then chem

Was just...

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

all our strongest subject is chem

The entire NYJC strength is chem

And come out. Easy paper. 

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

and then Maths was hard

And Maths is not my strong subject

Tho I practiced a lot laaaa

Maths is the only ambiguous one I think. 

Okay

Now time to study Econs

Hope I studied enough. 

Long time since I've complained so much in this blog

Hahahahahha 

Trolololololololo

But it's a few more weeks. 

Today Maths is over !!!!! :) 

I feel like I'm at my limits tho 

Never concentrated so hard so much for so long . 

But i will make it worth it. 

Two more days to the end of this important week. 

Chem paper 3 tomorrow.. 

I better score. 

And to anyone out there who feels discouraged ... 

Don't think about previous papers !!!

Just let it go 

Focus on what can be changed :) 

You have the power to change your fate. 

And after this we can play!!!!!! 

Interestingly. 

I'm thankful to god helping me. 

It's a bit strange. 

But I can feel his/her presence.

Hahahaha 

And I'm pretty sure god doesn't have a gender. Probably taking on whatever gender needed. 

In the eyes of god. Every human being is but a child. A child who tried to survive their best way possible. 

I always find that compassion really admirable. Hehe 

But there are somethings that god can't intervene. 

And it's up to us to make thing right. 

Fight for what's worth. 

A few more days :)

I think it's the course I want to go for in uni. 

It will sound nerdy but there's absolutely nothing that can interest me more than the study of politics. 

Of course aside from playing games going out with friends etc etc 

Today I spent 6hours reading terrorism and how countries handled it and I wasn't even bored... Time flew by like whoooooosh

It's the study of level headed human behavior on a grand scale. 

Human behavior is already intriguing on it's own. 

How people behave? Why do that behave? What was the expected behavior? What's with the change? 

It's probably because human behavior is something closely linked to our everyday lives yet it isn't an easy topic to understand. That's why most people turn to psychology. 

Many friends wanna study psychology. 

And I don't dispute that fact. 

Psychology is interesting. 

But it also involves the study of merely individuals. 

And at times... unstable minds. 

Studying the behavior of someone who can't control themselves isn't something that will interest me. It's just like trying to find a systematic error in a random error hehe 

Of course there will be some patterns among every individual. 

But what are the effects? 

The magnitude of impacts from these differing mentalities ?

Maybe that's why political science interest me so much. 

It's the study of analysis in some ways? 

AND another part of political science that really interest me is the true intention behind certain policies. 

All the discrepancies and final deductions. 

Who's GOVERNMENT is lying to an entire country. 

Found a few underlying reasons behind certain policies while studying. 

And i would be thrilled if I am able to study deeper into it. 

But I don't have the time now :( 

And my mama say I can't study political science cause my English isn't good. 

I don't disagree. 

Plus I know that the Singapore education system is capable of transforming any potentially captivating subject into something dry and boring

But... I love the topic so much right now. 

Can't wait to study it after As hehe

Let's go yehlin!!!!!!

I haven't even played that much

Ughhh I feel so ready for life after As

I feel ready to go prom

Go Taiwan

Go uni

Go dance cca 

Okay now gonna conquer what's in front first !!!!!!!!! 

Cause cramps are the worst thing ever 

It varies for person to person. 

Mine apparently it's one of the worst cases. Most affected female award *clapclapclap* 

You would think like

How pain can it be ?

Let's measure the pain against the plain Ol splitting of legs. 

And I'm not flexible so when I split the pain is as pain as anyone else

Errrr

This cramp is probably worse than that

It's so much that I can't even walk straight. 

I mean 30 days I will always forget the pain. 

And wonder like... Aiyah why my pain tolerance so low? Just tolerate what. 

But no

Every 30 days I'm just lying down. 

Paralyzed.

As if I got Tasered by a cop. 

It's not normal. 

Just like when you're feeling pain normally something can be done to relieve it.

But no

The knife just goes deeper and deeper and longer and longer 

And it's almost permanent for many hours. 

Worse than a headache .? 

A long term headache .? 

At least that's in the head. Your body feels fine.

This causes my entire body to be rendered uselessssss.. 

And I feel like puking cause it's too painful.

I don't know why.! 

Sometimes when people feel extreme pain they just puke. 

Or is it just me?

I can feel it in my throat :( 

There was once I really puked by the road side.

Sigh 

This sucks.

I cried again 

Cried while studying again

So scared for what's to come :( 

Every mistake hits me hard 

And my guy friend predicted that I will be crying omg

I didn't even tell..! 

That's so ... Cool but not cool hahaha

Okay I'm sleeping early !!!!

Glad I have ver and Lynn too !

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