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CHERN.yehlin here
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since 1st jan 2009

Saturday, July 18, 2015 1:21 AM

what to do when you're insecure with yourself?

this is what I'm struggling with now and i find it hard especially after a rocky year with studies and unstable emotions.
what do you do or what do people do?

first thing is definitely to
1. Gain control of your life
make decisions for yourself and stop waiting for other people to settle things for you. one needs gain or get used to taking initiative in your life or for things that you're a part of. when you start contributing and making however minute positive changes, you will feel good about yourself and eventually gain the confidence to take greater steps towards more significant changes. collective action problem is definitely tempting and i think everyone has been a free rider before at times. but in order to gain confidence with yourself you need to believe in your actions and to believe in what you do is to even take baby steps to do something in the first place. somewhere or a platform to start off will be suitable. another suggestion is to have certain resolutions to do weekly or by a certain dateline for your personal achievement. for situations that you feel like something can be done, step up and give input and make changes. don't be a floater and just wait for others to do things for you. even everyday situations like bumping into people, we can choose not to be that awkward person who just goes like oh? hi? ya? yes? we can initiate a hug or questions first. even in group conversations too.
find out where are you lacking in and do things to improve it.
for me personally its my lack of activities and stepping up especially in school. which is why when the term starts i plan to join other class than dance for my portfolio. i will also be looking out for exchanges or internships. for now i intend to finish reading a certain book to gain a better perspective in my major. these are things i set out to do and i hope or i will try to achieve it. even tho it might not always be successful or what you dream of, as long as you tried you know you are in control of yourself and you are actively improving yourself. this will in turn give you a sense of security.

2. love yourself
embrace parts of you that you love and parts of you which you don't. change or improve on the things you don't like about yourself but essentially remember that you are who you are and you're a special and unique individual capable of changing the lives of people around you.
for me personally, i have loved myself very much for many years. but this year i really lost my confidence as i feel myself losing control of my life and gaining bad grades having little friends.
this is when you need to - learn to love yourself again. its so important especially with changes in your life, changes that are hard to accept or hard to get used to. changes that will make you feel discouraged and possibly love your life a bit less.
go down to the basics and ask yourself who you are and who you want to be

3. answer your personal doubts and worries
this is extremely hard and i feel myself struggling so much with this. you can try to talk it out to friends or family. but ultimately the choice is yours. you choose how you want to react to certain things. you choose if you want to fear it, live with it, accept it, or reject the problem. do not run from it cause it will only make you feel less secure of yourself and your future. if you really don't know, give yourself a dateline or a hall mark to make certain decisions. the beauty of life is the endless number of possibilities and different paths you decide which you want to take.

no matter what, i wish whoever is reading all the best in their lives :)
its definitely hard to live, but we all have to try for ourselves.