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Hiiiiiiii!
CHERN.yehlin here
smile and be free :D
peeps online.!!
since 1st jan 2009
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Wednesday, March 22, 2017 6:17 PM
Hi there,
Its been way too long since i blogged. i think i forgot about how to write or what to write since its been too long hahaha. Okay technically it hasn’t been that long since its only about 1.5 years since my last post. but i feel like so much in my life has changed? and i need this space to find myself again.
im not sure how open or how private i should be on this page. cause i really have no idea who will read this at all. originally i started off with the intention of purely writing my camp stuff as a memory of how much thought i put into it and to hopefully pass it down to the next generation. but i guess somehow i realise its time i write about myself too?
i think this is so far the lowest I’ve ever been in my life. Technically it isn’t as bad as when I’m year 1 in jc because at that time it was my very first time going through heartbreak so i didn’t understand how to handle the situation and my emotions. Emotions wise its still equally bad? but circumstances wise this is worse.
Theres always a lot of hype to reach 21st. Like omg you are reaching adulthood, growing older into a new world. But when you’re 22? i think i start to realise how meaningless growing older is, and how age is just a number. How i dont really have anything?
i guess losing my ex in the worst possible way was too harsh a blow on me. and 2 months later, after 7 months of torture i am still unsure of how to find myself again. How do i regain the confidence i had when i was younger. There are too many times i wonder if I’m depressed, but I’ve come to a conclusion that it doesn’t matter? so what if i gain the label of being depressed, and so what if i dont? Life still goes on. The torture of my memories still continue. The love from my friends is still here. ultimately I’m still me, and i still have to learn how to handle these emotions and grow from here.
I am conscious of one thing tho. i know people are trying to help me. everytime i feel myself falling i can hear somebody voice trying to pull me up. Be it my secondary school friends and old friends just asking me ‘how are you’ or new TH dancers bonding through werewolf or TT talking. i am so thankful for them. I need to start showing my appreciation i feel, a big part of me is too consumed with trying to recover myself but i should still try.
Dance is a good relief tho. like really. for that moment that 1 hour all pain is stripped away and i gain the satisfaction.
I’m severely sleep deprived and I’m pretty sure thats contributing too LOL what an idiot. hahaha okay need to really sleep early
work is pretty bad… or i guess its average? its not the work itself that is tough. i really really dont mind tough work, in fact i want tough work. But as an intern you dont really get tough work because as they explained that sometimes delegating too much away can take up more time. The nature of comms department (other than media aspect) is projects, and its hard to split a project up when you already have vendors executing your ideas for you. There are moments that i do have self doubt. Is it because I’m incapable they dont want to task me with work? Is it because i made small mistakes while learning they dont have confidence in me?
There is something i definitely learnt during this period that i absolutely cannot forget, for myself.
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
In the working world and the period right after a break up, self doubt is the most natural emotion anyone can have. Are you good enough? is that why people reject you?
Until now i dont have the answers, and i think nobody has any answers in the world. Your answer is up to you to create, and your self confidence is up to you to seek. There will be no fire if you believe that there is no such thing.
having low self worth might possibly be one of the hardest thing to go through, cause you dont lose anyone else except yourself.
We must always believe in that we are blessed to be able to make a change. This pathetic life of mine can do good and can help others. So what if you make some mistakes now? Have you forgotten that you have done good as well? Helplessness can be the worst emotion to feel but most of us are not helpless. Most of us can do something about our own situation. Dont waste your opportunity you have to try.
If you really feel at loss, just take one small step by step until at the end you realised you have walked a mile :)
i feel like this post is written for myself to tell myself but its for anyone out there too! anyone going through the same thing someday. i really wonder where ill be next year.. hmmm
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Wednesday, March 22, 2017 6:17 PM
Hi there,
Its been way too long since i blogged. i think i forgot about how to write or what to write since its been too long hahaha. Okay technically it hasn’t been that long since its only about 1.5 years since my last post. but i feel like so much in my life has changed? and i need this space to find myself again.
im not sure how open or how private i should be on this page. cause i really have no idea who will read this at all. originally i started off with the intention of purely writing my camp stuff as a memory of how much thought i put into it and to hopefully pass it down to the next generation. but i guess somehow i realise its time i write about myself too?
i think this is so far the lowest I’ve ever been in my life. Technically it isn’t as bad as when I’m year 1 in jc because at that time it was my very first time going through heartbreak so i didn’t understand how to handle the situation and my emotions. Emotions wise its still equally bad? but circumstances wise this is worse.
Theres always a lot of hype to reach 21st. Like omg you are reaching adulthood, growing older into a new world. But when you’re 22? i think i start to realise how meaningless growing older is, and how age is just a number. How i dont really have anything?
i guess losing my ex in the worst possible way was too harsh a blow on me. and 2 months later, after 7 months of torture i am still unsure of how to find myself again. How do i regain the confidence i had when i was younger. There are too many times i wonder if I’m depressed, but I’ve come to a conclusion that it doesn’t matter? so what if i gain the label of being depressed, and so what if i dont? Life still goes on. The torture of my memories still continue. The love from my friends is still here. ultimately I’m still me, and i still have to learn how to handle these emotions and grow from here.
I am conscious of one thing tho. i know people are trying to help me. everytime i feel myself falling i can hear somebody voice trying to pull me up. Be it my secondary school friends and old friends just asking me ‘how are you’ or new TH dancers bonding through werewolf or TT talking. i am so thankful for them. I need to start showing my appreciation i feel, a big part of me is too consumed with trying to recover myself but i should still try.
Dance is a good relief tho. like really. for that moment that 1 hour all pain is stripped away and i gain the satisfaction.
I’m severely sleep deprived and I’m pretty sure thats contributing too LOL what an idiot. hahaha okay need to really sleep early
work is pretty bad… or i guess its average? its not the work itself that is tough. i really really dont mind tough work, in fact i want tough work. But as an intern you dont really get tough work because as they explained that sometimes delegating too much away can take up more time. The nature of comms department (other than media aspect) is projects, and its hard to split a project up when you already have vendors executing your ideas for you. There are moments that i do have self doubt. Is it because I’m incapable they dont want to task me with work? Is it because i made small mistakes while learning they dont have confidence in me?
There is something i definitely learnt during this period that i absolutely cannot forget, for myself.
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
In the working world and the period right after a break up, self doubt is the most natural emotion anyone can have. Are you good enough? is that why people reject you?
Until now i dont have the answers, and i think nobody has any answers in the world. Your answer is up to you to create, and your self confidence is up to you to seek. There will be no fire if you believe that there is no such thing.
having low self worth might possibly be one of the hardest thing to go through, cause you dont lose anyone else except yourself.
We must always believe in that we are blessed to be able to make a change. This pathetic life of mine can do good and can help others. So what if you make some mistakes now? Have you forgotten that you have done good as well? Helplessness can be the worst emotion to feel but most of us are not helpless. Most of us can do something about our own situation. Dont waste your opportunity you have to try.
If you really feel at loss, just take one small step by step until at the end you realised you have walked a mile :)
i feel like this post is written for myself to tell myself but its for anyone out there too! anyone going through the same thing someday. i really wonder where ill be next year.. hmmm
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my P R O F I L E
the initials are YL.
dear reader,
hello. how are you? my name is cyl aka jaslly a cranky female. im going to be 14 on 2703 of 2009, but for now, im currently living the number 14.
when i am officially 15, another year down till my peaceful death at 80. And , i love dance a lot.
although i am living in ward 14, i go to 2/5 of commonwealth room daily. this is the place where i usually get more hyper then usual. i really like the people there and learnt many things from them for my encaged life.
however much i dislike the adults there, i have to learn to like them . i also learn subjects like english maths chinese that i dread a lot.
no matter what, i will still miss the old 6a of cckps where there were psychologists, siewyi jane cheryl chingwei yanting minghui magdalene sinyi. all the fun happy naive times there are missed greatly by this mentally unstable person.
oh well, im still enjoying my life full of ups and downs .
:D
a strange person,
jaslly.
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being F O U R T E E N
14 random facts about me.
ONE basically this section is really random.
TWO i am seriously lack of sleep.
THREE majority of my life is being rotted away.
FOUR im not gonna be a saint and claim that i have no hates.
FIVE i hate people who hate me. seriously
SIX i dun tink there is anything else i hate.
SEVEN as usual, i like the people around me.
EIGHT when im angry/sad/afraid, my fingers turn cold.
NINE when im bored, i like to eat.
TEN but im not as fat as you think. =)
ELEVEN i am seriously bucking up for all my studies.
TWELVE i will score higher for all my subjects.
THIRTEEN this column is really random.
oh yea. last and least
FOURTEEN one fact you may not know ... im beginning to .. enjoy studying . =D
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2009 R E S O L U T I O N S
i shall try my best to enjoy the year.
will be updated at later date.
=D
2008 R E S O L U T I O N S
my weird wishes.
1. a never ending 2007
2. my last day in cckps a fun one
3. to get rid of mdm teo
4. have a enjoyable year being a newbie as a commonwealthian
5. to have a good teacher ms wong rocks
6. for everything to stay as good as it is
--there were ups and downs, but i am still happy!
7. STAY HAPPY AND LAUGH 4EVA!!!
--i might seems crazy if that happens . :D
8. be more hardworking successful?
9. save more $$ for new handphone
10. NOT get addicted to computer i am not ! =)
11. stop being stupid and do weel in exams
12. try to have sufficient amount of sleep this will be never
13. improve chinese?
14. cherish stuff as it is...
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chua chu kang pri school .
i miss it.
i guess this column will be here forever.
there is ISNT
a lesson in cckps FOREVER
not more friends
teachers
the one and only day i will go sch as pernormal.......
is only in my dreams.....
where everything was fun and exciting....
sometimes boring upset
but no more days other than that..........
On 22 nov 2007...
the last and final day of sch...
my presence in this school will cease to exist
those corridors i have grown accustomed to...
will all belong to someone else
i guess thats wad graduation means...
its the same as PARTING
all i got to say now
thank you for all the fun you've given me
thanks for your guidance and help
THANK YOU for your presence in my life
GOODBYE and we shall meet again in
the..F.U.T.U.R.E !!
6A is missed =)
thank you. :D
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Icon: LJ/sixthmile
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